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Tenants mooing and many other MLS oddities

Strange things are afoot, folks. Spring is bringing out the light side of real estate. The sun is shining, jasmine is wafting on the breeze, and cow paddies are warming in the living room. Check out these Spring Fever bloopers:

Bait and Switch

“Living area not included” (But for a little extra we’ll throw in one brain-dead agent.) 

“Made with flame retarded materials” (Sold by flaming, retarded agent.)

“Do not dishrub tenant” (If he’s cute, I’ll him with oil.)

“Timless design” (Susan Sarandon since the split?)

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“New stuckup just added” (New screw-up just fired)

Spell Check Wars

“For more infro, give me a cell” (Padded, I presume?)

“Kitchen with center igloo” (Designed by Nanuck Interiors?)

“Medieval room” (Theater of the Disturbed…)

“Open horse – Snacks served” (Let me guess…Trigger tripe?)

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“Tenants mooing on the first” (They must have had a beef with the owner.)

Odd Directions

Take Sunshet to the Comedy Store (Methinks someone had more than the two drink minimum.)

“Pleasee maul us for directions” (Located in Bear Paw Estates.)

“No more showings until sold” (Offered by Arrow-Through-My-Hat Realty)

“Buyer should square feet” (Agent should pass the reefer.)

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Jane’s Corner:

Thanks to my ol’ eagle-eyed pal, Jane Peters of Los Angeles, for her contributions this week:

“Recently remolded” (Stachybotrys – the gift that keeps on giving…)

And A Nod to the Royals:

“Crown melting in lvg room” (Queen Elizabeth after hearing about Fergie’s follies)

That’s it for this week, folks – enjoy the royal revelry. And be sure to thank all your British friends for giving us a language that’s so easy to screw up!

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Joe Loomer

    April 29, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Who told you about my medieval room!?!?

    Very funny Gwen, thank you!

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  2. Gwen Banta

    April 29, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    I read about it on the bathroom wall at Hooters, Joe! 🙂

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