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Marketing bloopers and the bare truth, nude and slick

Marketing bloopers are so abundant in real estate listing copy that we literally don’t have the space to feature them all every week, so here, we highlight some of the more hilarious and potentially offensive errors spotted in the wild!

marketing bloopers

marketing bloopers
Happy New Year, friends, and welcome to the 2013 Blooper Blog. As expected, the year started out with a number of hysterical real estate marketing bloopers from the MLS and from real estate ads all over the U.S. Thanks to Patty DaSilva of Davie, FL for her great contributions. Please enjoy:

Ringing in the Nude…uh, I mean “New”

“Nude and slick” (This must be a home for mud wrestlers.)

“Rein damage” (Explained Rudolph when asked about his ugly bald patches.)

“This home will see itself” (Ah…a house with insight!)

“Beautiful 4 Bd/2 Ba bed horse” (Suggested  Odysseus, but the Greeks voted for a horse with no plumbing.)

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“New ears discount” (Said Theo Van Gogh to his brother Vincent as he handed him a box with a strange, fleshy object inside.)

Letting Go of the Past

“Roof has new shackles” (How wise of your keepers not to let you wander off!)

“Holidie with us” (…Said the cheerful mortician.)

“Please wipe foot” (Message on Long John Silver’s welcome mat.)

“Start New Year with a bag” (That explains your hideous date.)

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“No showings – agent abscessed” (Hmmm…I just thought a gang of elk had sneezed on his face.)

Fresh Starts

“New dishwasher – in kitchen” (Alas, the end of the dishwasher-on-the-roof era.)

“Celebrate with us in 013” (Hey everyone – New Year’s party at Augustus Caesar’s house!)

“Bring roy for secret grab” (Roy has already been arrested twice for that.)

“Knocker is high one” (So were mine until they went all National Geographic on me.)

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“Open during bat parade” (What a concept – black rodent floats that land in your hair!)

Whoa, Buddy!

“Hoppy new year – see new prick” (This must be the Chinese Year of the Viagra.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember, spell well and sell!

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Guest

    January 16, 2013 at 11:55 am

    You’re humor’s sagging, Gwen. Oh, wait…..

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  2. JoeLoomer

    January 16, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Your humor’s sagging, Gwen. Oh, wait…..

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

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