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Opinion Editorials

Bevriges served – the dangers of drinking and typing

I am all for having a martini or two, folks. Maybe even three if it’s at least 10:00 AM. (I have my standards, you know.) However, I do draw the line at drinking and typing.  Read these real estate bloopers and tell me if you agree that there should be a breathalyzer test for fingers:

Corn Squeezins = Loss of Reason

“Pone found at open house” (Proudly ofered by Alabama Al and his Cornbread Combo.)

“Seller says he’s don” (That explains the horse’s head in your bed.)

“New studdo in back” (New bottle of Viagra in medicine cabinet.)

“Cabbiage lights line the driveway” (Welcome to the International House of Slaw.)

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“Long lisp of improvements” (Thairs, thucco, thiding and thewer?)

Over the Line on Moonshine

“Brown patches due to gardener ear” (Now that’s a serious wax problem!)

“Light filled adrian” (I warned Adrian about holding a flashlight in her teeth while on a trampoline.)

“This dimond is goiing to sell” (This dictionary is going to hit you upside the head.)

“Tase it all together” (Motto of the ever-friendly L.A.P.D. )

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“Stains are from zap” (Let me guess – your boxer shorts after being tased by the L.A.P.D.?)

 Be Glad You Weren’t on Skype

“Bevriges served” (From the looks of things, they come in a shot glass.)

“Large space cabinet” (Are you referring to the space between your ears?)

“Bonus for close earl” (Grunted the surgeon to his flask after suturing the nail-gun wound in Earl’s hairy buttocks.)

“On steep hell” (Just like your career?)

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This Week’s Fave

“Just pissed inspection” (This gives new meaning to “just waiting for the ink to dry.”)

That’s it for this week, folks. Spell and Sell!

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.


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