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Opinion Editorials

“Big tard” and other horrible marketing copy mistakes

Realtors that don’t proof read their property descriptions in the MLS inevitably end up in the hall of shame here at AGBeat. We hand pick these bloopers in hope that you will be inspired to check yourself before you go and wreck yourself.

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“Well lawdy, lawdy, lawdy miss clawdy!” I suspect that Elvis was reading the MLS when he wrote those lyrics. He’d roll over in his grave and choke on his fried peanut butter sandwich if he were to see some of this week’s listing bloopers. Check ’em out, friends:

Amenities I Could Do Without

“Easy access to major arteries” (Advertising on a hot dog package, I presume.)

“Lots of draws” (Tombstone Herald headline following the Shootout at the OK Corral.)

“L-type copper w/silver soldiers” (Is this a processional of the Dubai Militia?)

“Norma splits” (That’s how I feel every time I mount a horse.)

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“Blocked best house” (Have you tried shoving prunes down the pipes?)

Do I Have to Pay Extra For This?

“Ann Sucks glass tiles” (Agent sucks bigtime.)

“Rm to park 1 lrge can” (Then take a seat, sweetie.)

“No show Mom” (That explains the bag over her head.)

“Lovely colons throut” (Said the proctologist while peering up another wazoo.)

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Maybe I Should keep Looking…

“Vice mess checked daily” (Said J. Edgar Hoover when defending his high salary to the media.)

“Wall hater” (Hence Reagan’s famous words, “Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”)

“Pain finish soon” (What are you, a divorce lawyer?)

“Really big tard” (Nothing is more constructive than self-evaluation.)

I Gave Up My Bar Stool For This?

“See us on FB or Tit us” (All I see is a big boob.)

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“Won’t look at lowballs” (So how do you avoid tripping on them?)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell! 

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Qazzoo

    October 17, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Good Laugh! RT @ShayRealEstate “Easy access to major arteries” Always a good laugh- real estate marketing typos! https://t.co/G7rGePTs

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