“Big tard” and other horrible marketing copy mistakes

“Well lawdy, lawdy, lawdy miss clawdy!” I suspect that Elvis was reading the MLS when he wrote those lyrics. He’d roll over in his grave and choke on his fried peanut butter sandwich if he were to see some of this week’s listing bloopers. Check ’em out, friends:

Amenities I Could Do Without

“Easy access to major arteries” (Advertising on a hot dog package, I presume.)

“Lots of draws” (Tombstone Herald headline following the Shootout at the OK Corral.)

“L-type copper w/silver soldiers” (Is this a processional of the Dubai Militia?)

“Norma splits” (That’s how I feel every time I mount a horse.)

“Blocked best house” (Have you tried shoving prunes down the pipes?)

Do I Have to Pay Extra For This?

“Ann Sucks glass tiles” (Agent sucks bigtime.)

“Rm to park 1 lrge can” (Then take a seat, sweetie.)

“No show Mom” (That explains the bag over her head.)

“Lovely colons throut” (Said the proctologist while peering up another wazoo.)

Maybe I Should keep Looking…

“Vice mess checked daily” (Said J. Edgar Hoover when defending his high salary to the media.)

“Wall hater” (Hence Reagan’s famous words, “Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”)

“Pain finish soon” (What are you, a divorce lawyer?)

“Really big tard” (Nothing is more constructive than self-evaluation.)

I Gave Up My Bar Stool For This?

“See us on FB or Tit us” (All I see is a big boob.)

“Won’t look at lowballs” (So how do you avoid tripping on them?)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!