Dear Mom, Hello From Nutville… Love, the MLS

It’s Friday – time for another “tour” of MLS  comedyville…and I haven’t even had my first martini. I cannot give all the credit to the MLS this week. I found some great gaffs in the Los Angeles Times, Homes and Land, and the MLS Weekend Guide. The best, however, was contributed by Tami Johnson of Phoenix.  I suggest you pour yourself a tall one, kick off your shoes and begin Friday Happy Hour while enjoying these arrow-through-the-head sales pitches:

Hello From Nutville

“We chuck all credentials” (Motto on Coat of Arms for our beloved Congress…)

“Short Sale – Will Go Fast!” (HaHaHaHa…My dead grandmother could move faster…)

“Call for more inflamat’n” (Offered by Hookers-R-Us)

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

“Cute congo close to bust stop” ( news Alert: Hooters expand to Central Africa)

Drop in for a Cuppa Crazy

“Shirt Sales and Foreclosures” (Moonlighting at the Gap…)

“Nice beach bunsgalow” (The result of too much sun and a speedo…)

“New septic pimp” (Pimp whose business is guaranteed to end up in the toilet)

“Credit to remove clotted cheese ceil’g” (…Suggestion to remove clotted brain agent)

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

“You’ll love Morning Glory Wood and it’s amenities” (No, I am NOT going there…)

Detour to Gotti-ville:

“Builder will carry – cheat rates on killer deals!” (New building project in Jersey)

“Goon Wiring” (“Special” electrical work by Vito Corleone’s enforcers.)

“Pay respects to tenent” (Or what, I’ll sleep with the fishes?)

And Now For Some Leisure… (thanks, Tami)

“Community pool and spa with pubic restroom” – (This must be the place you call for more “inflamat’n”!)

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.