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Opinion Editorials

Dumpers in driveway: are you wasting your MLS remarks?

MLS bloopers can baffle and entertain, but this week’s batch is reminiscent of potty jokes from third grade – remember to spell check, people!

Ridiculous bloopers

Cue the music: “You’ve got to ac-cen-tuate the positive, e-lim-inate…” Oh, where was I? Yes, waste on the MLS. Check out these hilarious bloopers that were wasted opportunities to advertise listings. Remember, friends: Spell and Sell!

Eliminate The Negative

“Dumpers in driveway removed soon” (Yeah, if someone took a dump in my driveway, he’d be “removed” to the hood of my speeding car.)

“Buyers will tank you” (I think you tanked yourself.)

“2 porches & mad room” (Hmmm…padded walls must be back in style.)

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“Energy saber appliances” (I’ll alert Obi-Wan.)

“Seller wall carry” (That’s one sure way to get a hernia.)

Accentuate the Positive

“Views of cannon” (…shrugged Robert E. Lee to his Lieutenent at Gettysburg while Map Questing the Appomattox Courthouse.)

“New point upper level” (Yes, I can see it there on the top of your head.)

“Damage from moister intrushion” (Let me guess – the diagnosis regarding the water on your brain?)

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“Flor needs buff” (Just put a paper bag over her head.)

There Is No In-Between

“Very nice manicared” (Either this is Medicare for men only, or a Beauty Salon in West Hollywood.)

“Whitewarshed” (This must be a cousin to the ever-popular  German sausage, the “bratwarshed.”)

“Kitchen all stains” (A bit like your professional reputation, eh?)

“Tub and shower congregation” (This congregation must belong to the Church of Cleanliness-is-next-to-Godliness.)

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“Lots of lovely walking pats in area” (That sounds remarkably like The Stepford Wives.)

Sold For a Song (My Fave of the Week)

“Matched real good” (…said the bull to Mrs. O’Leary’s cow as they cavorted in the pasture while Chicago burned.)

 That’s is for this week, folks. Spell and Sell!

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.


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