Anyone who works in “The Office” knows sometimes there is a failure to communicate. Per email conversation, context can get lost in translation.

So, why then, in the age of the Me Too Movement, are coworkers saying: I Love You?

I’m guessing it’s thanks to our digital lifestyle?

No, I’m not a Boomer. Thank you very much. That’s a different editorial. But, I’ve been working since way back in the day. A time when we wore tennis shoes with nylons. Wait, that’s still a thing?

Alas, I digress.

If we consider the culture of work, particularly in the case of some start-ups, it’s not uncommon for there to be beer in the workplace, casual dress – meaning you have clothes on – and possibly a more youthful expectation around communication.

So, f*ck yeah, dude, I love you!

With the use of workflow apps like Slack, where people can text you – while on the toilet, no less. I mean, who hasn’t told a colleague, “OMG! You are a f@cking ?” after dealing with a challenging situation/customer/boss/client and that colleague comes to the rescue.

Just me? Oops.

Maybe it started back with the I Love You Man commercial, which also became the title of a bromance.

If the bros can have their bromance, then why can’t we all say those three words in the workplace?

I’m not gonna spoil the party and say never. I’m just going to suggest some things are better left unsaid.

First, words are powerful.

Because this is the era of Me Too, it’s easy for there to be misinterpretation. What if a woman says it to a male colleague. A boss says to a much junior employee.

Can you say harassment?

One of my former managers didn’t even like me saying her name. I can’t imagine what she’d do if I said: “I love you.”

But, here’s a real reason. People are happy with us one day and not the next.

Keeping it chill and professional is important. For example, I once called my co-worker – and very good friend – a nasty Spanish word and it almost resulted in a knife fight. What I learned is one day you are joking around and your friend isn’t.

Second, a laissez-faire attitude toward communication can become second nature. You can’t be accidentally telling your client, you love them, now can you? I mean, beyond being authentic, those words mean a lot to some people, just tossing them about shows a real lack of judgment and can result in an extremely negative response.

Which leads me to my last point.

“Et, tu Cheryl”

One company I worked at hired Gallup to do a survey of staff. One of the questions was about having a work BFF, which is important in the workplace. Often we have our work husband or wife or sister, even. We all need someone we can lean on.

In the workplace, depending on the culture and environment, it may be a good place to keep it 100 or, if too toxic, a better place to fake it. Even people who seem to be on your side might be just waiting to pounce.

Get too close, say the wrong thing and Cheryl gets your office with the window and the red stapler too.

All I’m saying is keep it real, but maybe not too real.

Oh, and btw, I <3 U.

12 billion motivational posters/yoga tops/specialty ziploc bags can’t all be wrong: Positive change always comes with loss.

For German Audi workers, the company shifting gears to focus on manufacturing electric vehicles will see employee losses to the tune of 7.5k people being Audi of a job there. In the next five years, another 2,000 jobs are expected to get the axe as well.

So they should be panicking, right? Audi workers should mask up and be out in the streets?

Well, considering the general state of the world, yes. But if we’re isolating to just this change, no!

See, Audi’s not actually shoving people out of the door to make room for younger, sexier, more fuel-efficient staff. The jobs they’re cutting are going to be cut due to employees leaving on their own for different pastures and retirement. As in, no one’s getting laid off through 2029.

Now there’s an electric slide I can get behind!

Audi’s top brass, in an Ohm-My-God twist (see what I did there), actually sat down with worker reps and talked this move out. This kinder, gentler, distinctly NON-assy arangement will save the company over 6.6 billion dollars over the next decade, and all of that cash is going to boogie-woogie-woogie into their ‘lightning car development’ piggy banks.

Yay for them!

And yay for us.

See, Germany has a (recent) history of not being horrible to their employees. It’s why Walmart’s attempt to claw its way into Deutschland went up in so much smoke. And that history is accompanied by a reputation for stunningly positive change for everyone from white tie to black apron.

With a brand as giant, trusted, and drooled over as Audi is managing to conduct massively profitable business without schwantzing anyone over, everyone here in the US has a shining example to point to and follow when making massive company moves.

Notably, Tesla, America’s favorite electric car company is almost cartoonishly anti-union, anti-worker, and anti-running dress rehearsals on expectation/glass shattering exhibitions. The prevailing thought is that it’s a necessity to be some kind of moustache twirling villain to get ahead because so many businesses insist upon it.

But that chestnut cracks here.

No more ‘Businesses exist to make money’ excuses. No more ‘You have to be ruthless to get ahead’ BS. Those selective-sociopathy inducing phrases never made any sense to begin with, but now, we’ve got a shining example of towering projected #GAINZ for a company doing right by its people without a single head rolling on the factory floors or a single decimal point moved left in the ledgers.

Ya done good, Audi.

Here’s hoping more businesses stateside follow in your tire tracks.

I’m an Android user because I like being parted from my money in different ways from others. And honestly, tech brand wars are for the argumentative birds. Even so, Apple keeps finding ways to make my trademark, mall goth-worthy ‘I don’t care’ façade much harder to keep up.

First it was their pricing vs performance vs right to repair in general. Then it was the selling separate ‘so you won’t lose them’ cords for those EFFING AIRPODS, (how does that not feel like a spit in the face).

Their latest weird, distinctly anti-consumer flex is…removing the reviews page from their site.

Double you tee EFF?

Let’s go over all the ways this is weird, so you all know for sure this take isn’t just based on the fact that I’m typing this up on a cost-effective Chromebook right now.

1: Everybody buying Apple likes Apple.

For real, Apple is a Brand’s Brand. It’s Jean-Claude Van Brand, doing truck splits all over all other comers. People get into seriously nasty fights when defending the company and their instruments, so how could the reviews possibly be bad enough to shove under the bed?

2: This isn’t a good look for any brand; why is a big fish brand doing it?

Out of all the terrible moves companies keep pulling out of the Terrible Moves Box, review hiding/shaming/changing is right at the top of the pile inside.

It always comes out, it always makes brands lose face, and it’s always baffling! Consumers are going to find out, we’re going to be irritated, and we’re going to keep having to dance this dance for some reason.

Whether it’s a no-name Amazon brand, an indie video game, or even Apple—the truth will get out. Apple’s smart enough to know that. So what are we looking at (or NOT looking at) here?

3: Timing…what?

Because holiday buying and/or totally secular sales creeps up on everyone who isn’t me (I’ve been buying Solstice presents since literally May), right now most people are looking for deals and waiting to pounce on the best of the best for less like the retail panthers they are.

As such, it’s more than a little odd that Apple would axe reviews, not just in general, but right now.

Taken all together, what exactly does this mean?

If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that this is some site renovation executed terribly. As moustache-twirly as most companies can get, I really can’t fathom Apple execs going ‘The peasants need not share their opinions, they have only to love us and pay us’, and hitting a big red ‘Remove reviews’ button.

Even so with all the money and manpower behind this company, it’s still something I have to squint at.

You’ve got billions of dollars behind every decision, customer-facing or otherwise, and yet this still happens?

We’ll have to wait and see what happens whether we’re asking Siri for the latest or still typing into a Google bar like a chump/thrifty chick.

But no matter how you want to slice this Apple move, it’s distinctly a rotten one. Whatever’s going on, the quickly spoiling bunch needs to be scrapped and fast.