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Opinion Editorials

Goof-reading for ridiculous marketing bloopers

The errors in real estate marketing are so endless that this is the third year of this weekly column highlighting the best of the worst errors. Enjoy!

furry wall

furry wall
It’s Wednesday – time for the weekly blooper reel. I suggest we add a new word to Websters Dictionary – Goof-reading. You may agree after you peruse these hilarious MLS and real estate advertising bloopers:

Roll ’em Out

“We’re rolling out the welcome matt” (Perhaps Matt should consider a low carb diet.)

“Lily scattered about” (Uh, I suggest you call an ambulance.)

“Just need youre imagenation” (What you need is a rehab.)

“Out of time to shop aground?” (Yes, I’m busy bailing out the boat.)

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“Open every weakend til sold” (The “weakend” is the area above your neck.)

Round ’em Up

“Free drawing &.” (…And what – quartering?)

“Varnished apartment for rent” (Tarnished agent for hire.)

“Invest your tex refund” (We did that with George W. Bush…and then refunded him.)

“Pack the tucks – you’re home” (I’ll alert my hemorrhoids.)

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“No need to chop around” (Said Clarice to Hannibal Lector as he eyed her lamb.)

Mow ’em Down

“No shaved walls” (“Wax on, wax off,” spoketh Mr. Miyagi.)

“Open 7 days weakly” (And marketed in the same manner…)

“Show offf art” (Try saying that fast three times.)

“Yard with white bitch trees” (Sounds to me like a good area for logging.)

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Pick ‘o the Week

“Chan marks boundary” (That explains the yellow snow in Chinatown.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell Well and Sell!

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

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