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Opinion Editorials

Killer view: death by multiple listing service

There is nothing more gratifying than sifting through hundreds of real estate listings and finding borderline offensive errors like these – they are always good for a laugh, and serve as a weekly reminder to spell check before hitting submit!

In spite of a recovering market, there was some subconscious hostility displayed in real estate this week, friends. Check out these Freudian bloopers I came across in local real estate ads and the MLS. Prozac anyone?

Flying High

“Planes available” (Advertised Jet Blue after the general populace finally realized they were a suicidal airline.)

“Lots of mirres” (Note the reflection of that stupid guy looking back at you.)

“Nice floor pan” (Wouldn’t roof repairs be a wiser choice?)

“Killer view” (Said Scary Mary just before she grabbed a kitchen knife and and threw open the doors at her open house.)

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“Peckaboo view” (Said Randy Rooster while peering at the hot hens through a hole in the chicken coop wall.)

“Fresh cot of paint”  (Sorry, pal, but liquid furniture is only appealing to porpoises.)

How Low Can You Go?

“For clients and relators” (Can you relate to the word ‘idiot’?)

“Stained class add collar” (Said Lenin while trying to tame the proletariat.)

“Must qual with our brokes” (Frankly, it’s no wonder you’re brokes.)

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“Sunday cancelled.” (Uh, shouldn’t that be God’s decision?)

“Wife installed” (I suggest you take the ol’ bag with you.)

“Dump to be removed” (I believed that’s referred to as “flushing.”)

And Finally, He-e-e-e-re’s Tor:

“Tor by invitation” (You’re not that hot, Tor.)

“Call tor private viewing” (Still no sale, Tor.)

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“Size inaccurate” (Put up or shut up, Tor.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell and Sell!

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.


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