shopify analytics ecommerce


Leg in for details? MLS property listing remarks with a kick

February 1, 2012

As an experienced agent, I sometimes think I’ve seen everything, but when I read the remarks below, I realized I have so much to learn. For instance, how does one get enough pate for a road? Or enough figs to make drapes? And why would one shag on a roof? Read these bloopers, and then maybe you can explain it all to me:

A Leg Up On Things

“Leg in for details” (Oh yay – we’re doing the Hokey-Pokey!)

“Custom figged drapes” (How do you get the little fig seeds out of the fabric?)

“Road just pated”  (Hence the expression, “What am I – chopped liver?”)

“Foe painting in lvg rom” (Uh, did that skull and crossbones on your wall tell you anything? )

“1/4 miles to Malibu Winary” (It’s apparent you’ve clocked this too many times…)

The Foot In Your Mouth Is Yours…

“Please leave fool and drink outside” (I tried that with my ex, but my neighbor Barb kept complaining about the olives in her fountain. )

“Dumper in driveway temporary” (That’s exactly what I told Barb.)

“Lawn just seedy” (Well, that describes your whole trailer park, doesn’t it?)

“Note new sin” (You must live in Hollywood.)

“Rooms washed with color” (Yet another reason for chlorine-free bleach…)

That Last Step Resulted In Bodily Injury

“New shag shingles” (I can tell you from experience that a person should never shag on a roof.)

“Autistic touches throughout” (That’s a really moronic oxymoron, moron.)

“New tail in bath” (Wet puppy in tub.)

Pah du-pum!

“Floos just finished” (And so am I.)

Have a great week, folks!



I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

Leave A Comment