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Opinion Editorials

New bd pans inc – Do your listings need medical attention?

I have two things to say this week: 1. When you drink, you can’t think. 2. When you drink you can’t- … uh, what was I saying? Oh, yes – the MLS.  It was so full of bloopers this week that I am led to conclude that Happy Hour started Monday and never stopped. Read these and tell me if it is any wonder I was driven to throw back a few martinis myself:

Booze ‘N’ Fools

“Free membership to gin inc” (It seems someone else beat us to it, Martini Mary.)

“Grab now use imagination” (That’s what Arnold said to his housekeeper.)

“House has new edition” (Agent lacks erudition.)

“Babblying broke runs in back” (Bumbling buffoon runs amuck.)

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“Drop by for cocktail ho” (Oh, is Paris Hilton for sale?)

Puff ‘N’ Stuff

“Near Sacramento airpot” (I believe the airpot’s name is Jerry Brown.)

“Claw me for selling” (I’m too busy clawing my eyes out over your spelling.)

“Reduction on mid-century Holywod” (Holywod? Another sixties porn star must be looking for work.)

“We can sake your home” (Can I get fried rice with that?)

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Proof or Goof

“Stream from back” (That sounds like one too many burritos to me, pal.)

“New bd pans included” (That must be for Burrito Bob and his s__t stream..)

“Nice for dog kids” (You must be referring to those ugly brats on The Real Housewives of New Jersey with the Neanderthal hairlines.)

“Good stable in neighborhood.” (Have you contacted Mary and Joseph?)

“Drawing for plasma” (Haven’t we given enough blood in this blasted economy?)

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And This Week’s Winner Is:

“Good school in areola” (Thanks for keeping me abreast of things.)


Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Paula Henry

    June 11, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Man – it was a bad week for MLS bloopers, but you can't complain, it makes for a great laugh! And we need you here for our weekly laughs.

  2. Gwen Banta

    July 31, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Paula, please forgive my delayed response. I just discovered that my AG notifications were going to my old email address…which is now as obsolete as my virginity. And to think George Clooney has probably been sending me love notes to that address…

    Thanks for reading!

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