People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Ken Montville
April 23, 2010 at 12:23 pm
OMG! I can’t believe this stuff goes on and on and on. That ball tower may have been where the priests, well, you know. And the kitch? Is that the Lazy Susan or the room it was in? Oh. that;s kitsch.
Gwen Banta
April 23, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Ken, your mind works just like mine! (Sadly enough for you 🙂 A ball tower is a very bizarre visual!
Erica Ramus
April 23, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Here’s my favorite one for today, a new listing has me wondering about more than one of these run-on statements:
Lower level finished w/bar, Fireplace, half bath, laundry room & storage room, also includes wine celar. built in garage used for storage. Shed has parking for 4.
Doug Francis
April 23, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Hey, I wrote that!
Kidding…
Gwen Banta
April 23, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Erica, some folks just never take time to breed…I mean “breath”!
Gwen Banta
April 23, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Doug, I’m keeping my eye on you!
Matt Stigliano
April 24, 2010 at 11:19 am
Gwen – Every time I read these I want to write all new descriptions for my listings and see how bad I can make them. Of course, I wind up telling myself no, because humor at the expense of “smelling” these houses just isn’t a good marketing plan.
Maybe you should start a RE conference. It’s at a bar, we travel from far off lands, and bring stacks of our favorite listings. Then we trade them like playing cards and discuss them through the night. It would combine your two types of posts and you’d never run out of material!
Erica Ramus
April 24, 2010 at 2:31 pm
So the built in garage is used for storage, and we park the cars in the shed?????
Gwen Banta
April 24, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Oh how I LOVE this idea! You’re a genius, Matt. Now I just have to get our AG friends to tell me some of their favorite bloopers or send me their favorite listings so I can put them in the hands of the crew at the “Redhead Lounge.” You have to be there for sure, Matt.
HEY – ALL YOU AG BLOGGERS, SEND ME YOUR FAVORITE LISTING REMARKS AND TELL ME WHAT CITY IT’S FROM. MATT STIGLIANO AND I ARE HOSTING A PARTY AND YOU ARE INVITED. CLOTHING OPTIONAL!!!
Gwen Banta
April 24, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Sure, Erica – It’s called a “You floor it, we store it.” 🙂 The listing remarks you sent in are a perfect example of how not only typos, spelling and grammar, but punctuation can affect the meaning.This one was in a R.E. magazine here last year: “Wine storige in. seller leeking caused damage & mold iddues.” (I think whoever wrote that was an id-du-it. )
Jeremy
April 24, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Don’t sneeze too hard. It may fall down!
Gwen Banta
April 24, 2010 at 11:56 pm
Jeremy, a good flipper could turn this place around in two months and sell it as “a romantic and cozy writer’s hideaway!” (…that smells 🙂
roydevoll
April 27, 2010 at 3:56 pm
lol, I have to start paying more attention so I can find a few of these for you!
Gwen Banta
April 27, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Yes Roy – I welcome all contributions. I get them from all over the U.S., and even Canada.
Gwen Banta
April 29, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Thanks for the reference, Referrals Inc. – I’m glad you enjoyed the bloopers.