New years resolutions are useless – try this instead

My 2018 started out with frozen pipes, a move and a car that wouldn’t start. It didn’t take long into 2019 to realize that it was going to be a better year. I have hot and cold running water. My car is running. And the best part is that I don’t have to move out of my apartment.

Now, if the rest of 2019 is just as easy as the start, it will be smooth sailing.

I’m not a fan of resolutions.

Instead, I try to focus on a particular character trait.

In 2018, I tried to be more aware of boundaries. I said no more often. I really tried to respect the boundaries of others. It was a good year. I learned to stop taking on responsibility that wasn’t mine. I still have a lot of work to do, but I’m definitely closer to the person I want to be.

This year, I’m going to live by this quote from J.K. Rowling: ?“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends.”

A few months ago, I was sitting in a board meeting (for a non-profit) where we made a decision that went against our primary mission. In retrospect, it wasn’t a huge thing, but it would displace our clients for an afternoon. During the meeting, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.

Why couldn’t I stand up to these people who were colleagues and friends? Fortunately, the board fixed the decision the next month.

I know I have a tendency to prevaricate and to be agreeable for the sake of agreement.

That’s what I want to change in 2019.

To live authentically, I need to be able to be myself. I want to make 2019 a year of truth.