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Opinion Editorials

Trying to decipher the MLS – Rosetta is stoned

Friends, we need more than a Rosetta Stone this week to decipher the MLS and the real estate ads  – we need Merlin the Magician.  Either spelling is no longer being taught in schools, or there were a lot of agents toking in the school yard during English class. Thanks to Mary Sheridan from Johnson City, TN for her great contributions.

Bongs and Thongs

 “Two pus den” (Does that come with Tetracycline?)

“No smaking on premices” (But your yap is just begging for it…)

“Too many thongs added to mention” (…Said Charlie Sheen to his therapist.)

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“Lurch served” (Thank you, Gomez and Morticia.”)

Incense and No Sense

“Drop in and say ho” (The last time I tried that, hair-pulling ensued.)

“2 ding areas in house” (One dingbat in captivity.)

“Window shads stay” (How did you get those little fish to stick to the glass?)

“2 tickets to Pirates of the Caribaribbean” (Gesundheit.)

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 “Great place to lie” (Hello, Maria – Arnold is selling the beach house.)

Sex and, well, More Sex

“Farmers maket every Tuesday” (That’s more action than I get.)

“Two bedsin guests” (…Must be those randy farmers.)

“Loving room” (Let me guess…those farmers again?)

“Seller pays Tit” ( Uh, I think that can cost you a constituency these days…)

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“One showing – moon only” (You might want to wax that thing first.)

Bang a Gong (This Week’s Fave):

“See my b log for details” (…Said Rep. Weiner as he snapped a photo of his Tweeter .)

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Joe Loomer

    June 20, 2011 at 7:12 am

    You had me at "gesundheit…"

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  2. Gwen Banta

    June 20, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    Joe, I would have thought I had you at "thongs" 🙂

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