Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
David Pylyp
December 11, 2009 at 7:55 am
We need to maintain our sense of Humor in this business.
Thank you for your post
To your continued success!
David Pylyp
Living in Toronto
Lani Rosales
December 11, 2009 at 9:11 am
Number 12 should get a punch in the face for not knowing. They should get their citizenship pulled. There, I said it.
Joshua Dorkin
December 11, 2009 at 10:09 am
It is rare that I find a real estate related post that gets me laughing out loud. Thanks for sharing all the wackiness that is the real estate biz, Gwen! I love it!
Kevin B. Morrow
December 11, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Love it – A blog post as sarcastic as mine. Too many Realtors have become a little too politically correct.
Gwen Banta
December 11, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Thank YOU, David. Be sure to send me some good material from beautiful Canada.
Gwen Banta
December 11, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I agree, Lani. I personally have been asked who Elizabeth Taylor is – I swear to God! Also: Frankie Avalon, Nancy Pelosi, Faye Dunaway, Quincy Jones, several of Saturday Night Live’s original prime time players, and Anne Bancroft. Hell, there’s even a song about Anne Bancroft (of sorts). Where would this world be without Mrs. Robinson? I think it’s because we have a lot of embryos with deep pockets who are purchasing homes in the Hollywood Hills. However, in the interest of fairness, I didn’t know who Ryan Cabrera was (stop laughing Stigliano) , nor did I know a few other of the bands popular with my younger musician clients. I am also clueless about that group of vampire cuties. There, I admitted it. But puh-leeze….Cary Grant!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen Banta
December 11, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Thank you, Joshua. I am just the messenger. If anyone reported on the dumb things I have been known to say, you’d be laughing for months!
Paula Henry
December 11, 2009 at 3:01 pm
To end the year 2009 – I will say it out loud – I love Gwen Banta! Not like you think :), but it’s these wild wacky stories, told as only Gwen can, that makes the craziness of my day seem, well – “trivial”
Gwen – can’t wait to see what 2010 brings for “tales from the RE World” All your tales combined would make a great coffee table book, or better yet and agent training manual. -Best
Gwen Banta
December 11, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Paula, You made my day! And I love you, too…and maybe in the way you think 🙂
Gwen Banta
December 11, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Love to you Tempe!
Brittany Loan
December 11, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Too funny! Thanks for the smart a** remarks- they are priceless.
Portland Condo Auctions
December 11, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Wow. Some people really need to think a little bit more before asking a question. Who would dig up and take their septic tank? I’m not particularly sentimental with mine.
-Tyler
Gwen Banta
December 11, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Hi Tyler, and hello to Portland. Perhaps the perp of that dumb question was thinking “spa.” I’ll try to give the benefit of the doubt. I am delighted to hear you are noit attached to yours. That would be sh_tty.
Joe Loomer
December 11, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Wasn’t Cary Grant’s dad that famous real estate mogul – Land Grant?
Bonnie Lelak
December 12, 2009 at 2:36 pm
What a great laugh! Glad to see a great sense of humor about some of the things asked. I really like the one about the septic tank…
Patrick Flynn
December 12, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Gwen-Where do you get this stuff? I’m very interested in knowing what you know!
Best wishes,
Pat
Gwen Banta
December 13, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Actually, Joe, Land Grant was Cary’s cousin. Cary’s real name was Archibald Leach. His father was Archibald Cox of Watergate prosecution fame, whom Nixon called a “slimy leach” (he couldn’t spell). Thus, the Cox family took on the name of “Leach” when they went into witness protection after Gordon Liddy threatened to cook their livers on a George Foreman grill. The change to Grant occured when Haldeman and Erlichman “grant-ed” them pardons and presented them with a dog named Checkers. (named such because the dog worked weekends as a coat checker.) That is the history wrap-up for the day. Tune in next week to hear how Kitt Carson, upon seeing his newly born son, yelled, “Heeeeere’s Johnny!”
Gwen Banta
December 13, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Bonnie, I liked that one, also. “Waste not, want not.”
Gwen Banta
December 13, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Just hang out with me, Pat – my life is, well, bizarre. My friends are nuts, too. Maybe it’s all a result of the Los Angeles water supply…
Nashville Grant
February 24, 2010 at 11:18 am
How about this question that I got from a seller whose home had just miserably failed a home inspection: “Wow, I can’t believe that my house has that many problems. Do you think I could use the buyer’s earnest money to fix all of these problems?”
embroidery stabiliser
March 24, 2011 at 12:26 am
Thank you for taking the time to write this!
Gwen Banta
March 24, 2011 at 12:31 am
Grant, somehow this just got to my mailbox…and I am laughing hysterically – just can’t stop!!!