Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Roland Estrada
April 1, 2011 at 8:15 am
These vendors are about five years behind the curve. I’ve been complaining to SoCalMLS for the last five years about. I’m am quite a tech savvy agent. I saw the browser trend long ago. These vendors are just fat, lazy and arrogant. I’t time to call a spade a spade.
As Realtors, we can’t be timid about calling these vendors out publicly. Considering the tools available to us in terms of social media, this can be done. How about a call to action – create a site of shame, flood bigger sites with phone calls and emails – you get the drift. Rise up and be heard. We are a powerful group and we should act as such.
Lani Rosales
April 1, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Roland, I think you missed my point… there is a *reasonable* expectation period for browser compliance and for Google Chrome, that is just now in 2011 based on historical data. If they had offered Chrome five years ago, they would have been time travelers because the browser didn’t exist.
Is SoCalMLS not with CoreLogic MLS whose next generation (which I think might be live in your area) is Chrome compliant?
Roland Estrada
April 1, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Lani, I can see you point. However, Chrome isn’t the first browser war salvo. It started with Firefox. I’ve been a geek for some time now and an early adopter of new tech. The geek world really latched onto Firefox and for good reasons. They had been longing for a web standards compliant and open browser.
I’ve been complaining about this to our local MLS since 2005. I’ve kept complaining year after year, pointing out IE’s continuing loss of market share. I really started complaining when I switched to a Mac in late 2006.
It was an obvious trend that venders very didn’t pay attention because they just don’t care. As long as agents continue to pay and say nothing why should they change. There is so much lack of vision on behalf of real estate industry vendors. I’ve just had this talk with a IT friend of mine last night. The coding is not that difficult. If frost me because these vendors are selling us tech. It’s there business to know what is coming down the line or least hire people smart enough to know.
SoCalMLS is rolling out something called Fusion this year. Do you what they tell me if I ask when – they say sometime between December 31st. You are correct, our product is Tempo from CoreLogic. Considering how much money our association pays them. When we ask them to jump they should be asking us how high. Not the other way around. By the way they never the saw the Apple juggernaut coming either. I think they might be starting to pay attention. We’ll see.
Roland Estrada
April 1, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Lani, I did some more digging today. I turns out that Fusion has been available in search-only to Sandicor members since late December of 2010. I spoke to someone at SoCalMLS today and was told Fusion is expected for us by late summer. The good news is it will completely cross browser compatible. The bad news is that it’s Flash based and won’t work on an iOS devices. I still don’t the why it was
Flash based. Maybe it’s easer to compile. You lose a lot of options when using legacy solutions. Too bad. Also the plan is to run Tempo and Fusion concurrently forever. Forever?? Hmmm…
I was also told that SoCalMLS will be releasing a new mobile friendly MLS service called Kurio as replacement for our current Wireless MLS solution. I was told four weeks for that release, so I’ll plan on 8 weeks. Do I sound cynical?
Missy Caulk
October 11, 2011 at 6:03 am
Still relevant for today, and I am posting on our boards Facebook page.