Our future depends on who we fight for- ourselves or others?

Do you talk at the TV?  I do. I can’t help myself, I’ve been doing it for years.  It’s worse now than ever, and so am I. I talk back.  I point a finger and call bulls**t. I talk smack.  I roll my eyes, and shake my head.  I rant out loud.

TV News is sensational fear mongering, rubberneck entertainment, designed to attract attention, just like New Jersey Housewives.  The more drama, disaster, WTF, and OMG, the better.  They shout about how they are the World-Wide-News-Leader, and Intergalactic Authority.  They over broadcast, the American sky is falling, along with home prices, and hopes and dreams.  They tell, tell, tell us that we’re doomed, everything sucks (except them), and we should stay tuned for even more, bigger and better disaster, heart wrenching misfortune, and or,  maniacal disapproval and bitter disagreement.

What I should do is, turn it off.  But I want to know what others might be hearing.  Knowledge is power, right.  So I watch, roll my eyes, and rant.  But I don’t inhale, or swallow.

There’s an explanation for their cheesy behavior, the TV News and Broadcast Media Complex is doing this because they are losing viewers.  They’re loosing viewers and advertising revenue, they’re threatened, reacting desperately, and behaving embarrassingly disgustingly idiotically lamely destructively badly.

Lessons Learned From Desperation

As a species, when threatened, our instinctual reaction is to fight, or haul ass towards safety.  I believe that’s what’s happening with TV in general, and TV news specifically.  They are losing viewers, so they’re threatened and desperate, and because they can’t flee, they’re fighting; shouting, telling and selfish-selling like crazy. They have to attract attention (viewers), they have to fight.  This explains Housewives, and Doom and Gloom News-casting.

The fight or flight reaction is alive and well in the real estate business too.  We’ve managed to hang on through the worst recession in our lifetimes.  Even though things were rougher, and harder, we’ve made it through the spring and summer.  So far, so good.

Now fall and winter is knocking.  We know, recession or no recession, seasonality will present fewer opportunities.  It’s a fact, fewer people buy and sell homes in the Fall and Winter months.   This seasonal slow down is a reality.   As this reality sets in, it may lead to fear-feelings, then desperation, which is normal (how we respond to fear, and feeling desperate is what this article is about).  The next thing that happens is, when we feel threatened,  we’re gonna wanna fight (it’s instinctual), and we should.  Business will be scarce, it’s not gonna fall into our laps, we have to earn it.  Yeah, we’re going to have to fight for it, but as we do, we have two choices.

Choice One:  Fight For Yourself and Lose – Shouting, Telling, and Selfish-Selling.

When we’re threatened and feeling fearful, powerful emotions mobilize our fight or flight instinct.  One way of fighting is to lash out and smack people.  The problem is, when we smack people, their fight or flight instinct kicks in and then they smack back, or they run from us. We want to guard against lashing out at the very people who are most important to us.  We have to guard against lashing out at our prospects, suspects, clients, friends, colleges, family, and our pets.

How do you know if you’re lashing out?  Examine what and how you do things.  You’ll recognize yourself, or others, as lashing out when in their desperation, they are shouting, telling and selfish-selling.  Here’s what lashing out looks like.

Shouting is when you blair, and over-broadcast. It’s thinking that if you can overwhelm with frequency and VOLUME, people will be persuaded, and you can control and bully your target. It’s not about what’s relevant to others, it’s about what’s important to you.  If you’re shouting, or you get the urge to shout, don’t.  Instead of shouting, listen.

Telling is shouting all about you.  It’s yammering, droning, and bleating about how luminescent you are, how excellent everything you do is, and how you’re Number One.   Also, people don’t believe, or trust what sales people say about themselves and their blah-blah, as much as they believe and accept, actual proof, documentation, demonstration, recommendations, and track record.  People believe what you show them, not what you tell them.  If you’re shouting, and telling, don’t.  Instead of shouting, listen, instead of telling, share what’s needed, and show them, don’t BS them.

Selfish-Selling is shouting, and telling people about how magical your (self-centered) offering is.  It doesn’t matter so much if  it’s the right product or the best service, it’s about you, and what you think is best, and they should buy it, because you say so, and you need a sale to survive.  If your shouting, telling and selfish-selling, don’t, it’s like smacking people.  People (and opportunity) will either avoid you, or they will fight back.  Either way, nobody wins.

If you want to attract opportunity, and have people choose you, and recommend you, do this.

Choice Two:  Fight For Others and Win – Listening, Sharing, Showing, and Solving.

It’s important to understand that everyone around us is a constant state of bombardment too.  It’s a pretty stressful time for everyone.  Let’s face it, we’re living in a trust starved, don’t sell me, don’t bore me, and don’t bullshit me society.  How we behave under pressure is more important than ever.  Instead of reacting instinctively, and lashing out, we need to respond intellectually, instead of self-centered and selfish-selling, we need to place the focus on others. Instead of fighting for ourselves, we need to fight for others.

To understand how to best fight for others, we have to know what they need.  Instead of over broadcasting, dominating the relationship, and trying to be interesting, we should be interested in them, asking them lots of questions, listening to what they have to say, what they want, what they need, and what they fear.

When we know a person’s needs, wants, and fears, instead of ramming down their throat telling them all about how our squared pegged and self-centered stuff can be hammered into their round holed need, we can share and show them how our them-centered solutions get them exactly what they want and need. When we do that, we all win, and we get paid.  And recommended too.

Desperation. Instinct. Intellect. Survival and Triumph (hopefully).

Like I said earlier, anyway you slice it, the next six months will be more challenging, threatening, and stressful, than the previous ten.  When we feel threatened, instinct kicks in.  Some will want to run for safety, which means getting out of the business, there’s no shame in that – God’s speed.

For the rest of us, instinct will energize our efforts to fight for survival.  The important thing for us, is not to act desperate, and thoughtless.  We must guard against over broadcast, shouting, self-centered and selfish-selling.  The paved path to survival, and ultimately triumph, is to laser focus our attention on others, listening and sharing solutions that solve their problems, help them get what they want, and vaporizing their fears.

Because you’re reading this, I know you have it in you.  It’s going to be a long winter, let’s encourage, respect and support each other. Let’s not fight amongst ourselves, or for ourselves, let’s fight for others and each other.  We’re actually fighting for ourselves, when we fight for others.

Thanks for reading.