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marketing typos

Marketing typos that will not bring home the bacon

March 1, 2013

marketing typos

The Blooper Reel is back, my friends. This week’s offering of marketing typos from the MLS included everything from stewed hogs to bowel problems. Read ’em and weep:

Did You Just Say That?

“Close to square” (Lamented SpongeBob SquarePants when asked to explain his lone pant leg.)

“Instant hog water” (Said farmer Fred sheepishly when asked why little Susie’s 4-H pig was missing.)

“2 inches rock hard” (Bragged Mickey Mouse to Minnie during foreplay.)

“Park only in detonated area” (What blew up – your career?)

Maybe You Should Think Before Speaking

“Hot and chick area with EZ freeway access” (For those seeking a brothel with a fast getaway.)

“Beware of speed dump in front” ( Severe case of diarrhea, I presume?)

“Cuntry estates” (Nope, not going there…)

“Garage touched in back” (Agent touched in head.)

“Sowstairs bedroom” (I hear that’s the best place for a pig and a poke.)

Bite Your Tongue

“House shits on one acre” (If I buy it, will I live crappily ever after?)

“Sins on hill” (Grafitti on a sign near the entrance to the Capitol Building.)

“Great location on Carol Plates” (Right between the mashed potatoes and the peas?)

“Road makes a poop before veering L” (Hence the inspiration for the Eagles lyric: ” I’m running down the road tryin’ to loosen my load…)

Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap!

“Can show cod” (Oh, I thought you were just happy to see me.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

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