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“Friar damage” – out of the frying pan, into the friar with the MLS

From partying monks to Little Miss Muffett, the MLS was crawling with revelers this week. Of course, few were sober enough to spell and thus provided some hysterical bloopers for our entertainment. Thanks to Jane PetersJan Pastras, and Patrick Martin of Los Angeles – some of my favorite eagle eyes who are helping me watch YOU!

Party Farty

“Extended friar damage not yet repaired” (Now Trending: Another wild monastery kegger cause of concern for local residents…)

“Gas shit-off to be installed” (My Uncle Paddy and his cronies  from Barney’s Beanery  will love this!)

“Tumbling stone backsplash” (Designed by San Andreas, I presume?)

”Drop in for a hot lincheon” (There will be a ‘hot lincheon” if your seller sees this, honey.)

“Say good-bye city, ho beach!” (Say good-bye wife, hello bail money.)

Booze ‘n Fools

“More pasted tomorrow” (You’re pasted enough today.)

“Sits high on jill” (…and I suspect you’re high on Jack, pal.)

“A lot bitter now” (No more than I was when I saw your listing remarks…)

“Subject to constellation” (Another Hollywood nut who won’t sell when Mercury is in retrograde…)

 “Bear restaurants” (I think those are called “stupid people’s campsites”)

Mo’ fo’ sho’

“Two on one” (Charlie Sheen’s “goddesses,” I presume?)

“Just needs a little sap and water’ ( I think I know where to find the sap…)

“Charming home with curd appeal” (Target Marketing….to the Little Miss Muffet buyer pool.)

“Guest hose behind” (Maybe they should hose the armpits, too…)

Too Much…Even For me

“Creamed up & read to show” (Nope…just can’t go there…)

That’s it, folks. I’m off to a kegger at my local monastery. Toga! Toga!

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.


  1. Thank you for the re-posts, friends!

  2. Is it possible that my wildest dream could come true? A home is finally available on “Ho Beach”?

  3. Yes, Bruce…you can live next door to Charlie Sheen and Hugh Grant!

    • Awesome. I’ll just need to get all creamed up so I’m ready to show!

  4. Some things should NEVER be seen, Bruce!

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