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The best networking tip I’ve ever gotten in my life

The best networking tip ever came from the most boring networking event in history, and changed how I received referrals forever.




Chinese throwing stars, knives, singing, and networking

I went to a networking event 10 years ago and was bored out of my mind. There were speakers that droned on about industry stuff and overdressed professionals with stacks of business cards in their hands like Chinese throwing stars I knew were about to be thrown at my face, whether I liked it or not.

These professional networking ninjas were intimidating to this fresh-faced college graduate, I mean, they had on pantyhose and blazers in the Texas heat – these people weren’t playing around. After the speakers finally ceased, we said like the Pledge of Allegiance, sung happy birthday to someone, and did the drawing for a set of knives (notice a theme?), it was time to network.

You’d think a bloody turkey leg had just been thrown into an overcrowded pond of piranhas – the frenzy was on. Shallow platitudes were passed, “hello, my name is Debbie and I am an insurance agent. Here are 14 copies of my card, please send my information along to your friends and family and I’m never to busy for referrals, and now I have to go give 20 copies to that prospect over there who looks like they might send me more business than you, byeeee!”

It wasn’t my cup of tea, but I was in grown up land, so I had to act like it, even if I refused to wear pantyhose.

Back when I sucked at networking

I met a “professional networker,” whatever that means. He gave a brief introduction of himself and offered me a card. I dug through my purse to find my card as I told him that (remember, this was a former life) I was in multi-family property management. Then, he asked me what kind of referrals I prefer.

“People looking for an apartment?”

He asked me to be more specific. “People looking for an apartment that aren’t criminals and can afford more than $X per month?”

I was being coached. I could tell. He said, “I will keep that in mind in case I come across someone like that. I make most of my money from public speaking, so if your company is ever looking for someone to keynote at their corporate meetings or you hear of an opportunity in the multi-family industry, that is my favorite type of referral.”

Then, he said, “if you can think of a specific type of prospect you’d like referred to you, you have my email.”

Well, thoughts of Fair Housing laws swirled through my mind. I can’t say “yeah, please send me native Texans who love Jesus and have a fat bank account and skinny butt.” That’s not right.

And here is the best networking tip ever

But it got me to thinking. I could say that many of our residents tend to be people relocating to Austin, often involved in technologies like semiconducting, so if he hears of anyone about to move to town, that’s a slam dunk for me, or if he has any great HR connections at semiconductors, I’d like to connect with them so I can make a deal with their relos.

The best networking tip I’ve ever gotten in my life was indirect, but it was that I needed to be specific about what type of referrals I prefer – to this day, I know that this guy wanted to keynote or speak at multi-family events, a very specific niche. It was a concise description that planted a specific memory in my mind – had he said, “I’m a public speaker,” I would have filed that under “okay, who cares?”

When networking, do more than stalk people like a ninja with a stack of cards – nail your pitch and more specifically, be able to tell people exactly what kind of referrals you love.

“I’m a Realtor who loves working with first time buyers considering living on the north side” is much more actionable than “I’m a Realtor.” “I am a dog groomer and specialize in long hair dogs which are tricky” is much more actionable than “I’m a dog groomer. “I sell insurance” is easy to file under “doesn’t everyone?” but “I love connecting entrepreneurs with affordable business insurance” is much more intriguing.

Give people somewhere to mentally file your skills and there is a higher obligation level for people to refer – our brains are wired to make connections, so make the connection for them!

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  1. Me

    August 8, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Small typo in the above “and I’m never to busy for referrals” should be “too” not “to”.

  2. halffiction

    August 8, 2013 at 3:38 pm

    Great advice. When I ran networking events for ad professionals, there was this guy I called “Old Orange Man” an old copywriter desperate for work. He would literally come to my events and paper everyone with his orange business cards. “Take my card!” he’d say, not even saying who he was or what he did. Often he’d hit more than one event in a night if he could. One thing I learned, it’s better to receive than to give when dealing with business cards. I follow up with people – always. Giving someone my beautiful business card? I try not to waste the paper.

  3. rolandestrada

    August 8, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    Great post. As I’ve been driving my tail off lately way out of my area, I started to think I could make a great living just focusing my attention to just one or two cities near my office instead an entire county. As they say “Work smarter, not harder”.

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Business News

Unify your remote team with these important conversations

(BUSINESS NEWS) More than a happy hour, consider having these poignant conversations to bring your remote team together like never before.



Woman working in office with remote team

Cultivating a team dynamic is difficult enough without everyone’s Zoom feed freezing halfway through “happy” hour. You may not be able to bond over margaritas these days, but there are a few conversations you can have to make your team feel more supported—and more comfortable with communicating.

According to Forbes, the first conversation to have pertains to individual productivity. Ask your employees, quite simply, what their productivity indicators are. Since you can’t rely on popping into the office to see who is working on a project and who is beating their Snake score, knowing how your employees quantify productivity is the next-best thing. This may lead to a conversation about what you want to see in return, which is always helpful for your employees to know.

Another thing to discuss with your employees regards communication. Determining which avenues of communication are appropriate, which ones should be reserved for emergencies, and which ones are completely off the table is key. For example, you might find that most employees are comfortable texting each other while you prefer Slack or email updates. Setting that boundary ahead of time and making it “office” policy will help prevent strain down the road.

Finally, checking in with your employees about their expectations is also important. If you can discuss the sticky issue of who deals with what, whose job responsibilities overlap, and what each person is predominantly responsible for, you’ll negate a lot of stress later. Knowing exactly which of your employees specialize in specific areas is good for you, and it’s good for the team as a whole.

With these 3 discussions out of the way, you can turn your focus to more nebulous concepts, the first of which pertains to hiring. Loop your employees in and ask them how they would hire new talent during this time; what aspects would they look for, and how would they discern between candidates without being able to meet in-person? It may seem like a trivial conversation, but having it will serve to unify further your team—so it’s worth your time.

The last crucial conversation, per Forbes, is simple: Ask your employees what they would prioritize if they became CEOs tomorrow. There’s a lot of latitude for goofy responses here, but you’ll hear some really valuable—and potentially gut-wrenching—feedback you wouldn’t usually receive. It never hurts to know what your staff prioritize as idealists.

Unifying your staff can be difficult, but if you start with these conversations, you’ll be well on your way to a strong team during these trying times.

This story was first published in November 2020.

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Business News

How to apply to be on a Board of Directors

(BUSINESS NEWS) What do you need to think about and explore if you want to apply for a Board of Directors? Here’s a quick rundown of what, why, and when.



board of directors

What does a Board of Directors do? Investopedia explains “A board of directors (B of D) is an elected group of individuals that represent shareholders. The board is a governing body that typically meets at regular intervals to set policies for corporate management and oversight. Every public company must have a board of directors. Some private and nonprofit organizations also have a board of directors.”

It is time to have a diverse representation of thoughts, values and insights from intelligently minded people that can give you the intel you need to move forward – as they don’t have quite the same vested interests as you.

We have become the nation that works like a machine. Day in and day out we are consumed by our work (and have easy access to it with our smartphones). We do volunteer and participate in extra-curricular activities, but it’s possible that many of us have never understood or considered joining a Board of Directors. There’s a new wave of Gen Xers and Millennials that have plenty of years of life and work experience + insights that this might be the time to resurrect (or invigorate) interest.

Harvard Business Review shared a great article about identifying the FIVE key areas you would want to consider growing your knowledge if you want to join a board:

1. Financial – You need to be able to speak in numbers.
2. Strategic – You want to be able to speak to how to be strategic even if you know the numbers.
3. Relational – This is where communication is key – understanding what you want to share with others and what they are sharing with you. This is very different than being on the Operational side of things.
4. Role – You must be able to be clear and add value in your time allotted – and know where you especially add value from your skills, experiences and strengths.
5. Cultural – You must contribute the feeling that Executives can come forward to seek advice even if things aren’t going well and create that culture of collaboration.

As Charlotte Valeur, a Danish-born former investment banker who has chaired three international companies and now leads the UK’s Institute of Directors, says, “We need to help new participants from under-represented groups to develop the confidence of working on boards and to come to know that” – while boardroom capital does take effort to build – “this is not rocket science.

NOW! The time is now for all of us to get involved in helping to create a brighter future for organizations and businesses that we care about (including if they are our own business – you may want to create a Board of Directors).

The Harvard Business Review gave great explanations of the need to diversify those that have been on the Boards to continue to strive to better represent our population as a whole. Are you ready to take on this challenge? We need you.

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Business News

Age discrimination lawsuits are coming due to the pandemic – don’t add to the mess

(BUSINESS NEWS) Age discrimination is spreading despite intentions to help, and employers need to know how to proceed in this unprecedented era.



Ageism void

Before the pandemic, age discrimination was prevalent in workplaces. The EEOC reports that in 2018, about 6 out of 10 workers aged 45 years and older say they experience discrimination on the job.

A 2015 survey found that 75% of older workers found age an obstacle in job hunting. COVID-19 made the situation much worse.

Not only do older workers deal with discrimination, but they are at a higher risk of developing serious complications from the virus. According to the Society for Human Resource Management, older workers were hit the hardest by job loss during the pandemic, which is unusual during a recession. As offices reopen, employers need to be careful to avoid age discrimination in rehiring.

Lawyers expect age discrimination lawsuits to increase.

Last September, Harris Meyer published an article in the ABA Journal that predicted a “flood of age discrimination lawsuits” from the pandemic. Employers who have good intentions by keeping older employees out of the workplace to protect their health are still guilty of age discrimination.

What can employers do to avoid age discrimination?

It may be fine line between making sure you don’t discriminate based on age while offering ADA accommodations. The first thing employers should do is to know what laws apply based on their location. Some states exempt employees over 65 from returning to the workplace out of safety fears, meaning that those employees can still get unemployment. Other states are cutting benefits if employees don’t return to work, regardless of age.

There are some jurisdictions that have passed legislation about which workers have the right to be recalled. Next, review your own policies and agreements with laid off and terminated employees. You may want to consult legal counsel to make sure you’re covering your bases.

As you rehire, whether you’re bringing back former employees or hiring new team members, do not make hiring decisions based on age. Keep good documentation about your decisions to terminate certain employees. If you are citing poor performance, make sure to have a record of that. Don’t terminate older employees who have bigger salaries just because of lower sales. Monitor your words (and that of your hiring team) to avoid bias in hiring and firing.

Provide accommodations or not?

According to the SHRM, “Workers age 40 and older are protected from bias by the Age Discrimination in Employment Act; however, that law doesn’t require employers to make accommodations for safety concerns.”

Still, employers can provide flexibility for workers, but it largely depends on the type of job. Reaching an accommodation for an office worker will be much easier than accommodating a sanitation worker.

Employers should assume that workers aged 40 and older can return to work. When the need for help is raised by the employee, enter negotiations for accommodations. Don’t initiate the conversation, and absolutely avoid any references to age.

Know that the environment may change as the pandemic continues to affect workers.

Be thoughtful about your hiring practices moving forward to avoid costly litigation from age discrimination.

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