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Opinion Editorials

“Custom stink” – is that your dying career I smell?

Some agents and brokers really “stepped in it” this week, metaphorically speaking that is. If you smell something rotten, it could be your spelling. Thanks to Patty Da Silva for her great contribution from Florida  for this week’s Blooper Scooper, and to my buddy Jane Peters  for her never-ending great blooper finds here in Los Angeles. Check out these stinkers:

Bathroom Blues

“Custom stink” (You must know my dyspeptic neighbor.)

“Pedal sink” (Does it have handlebars and a horn?)

“New sunk in master ba” (Like your frontal lobe?)

“Elegant sicks in bath” (How elegant is a head heaving into porcelain?)

“Top end toilet” (I believe toilets are for your bottom end…)

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Talk to Me Sweetly

“Not too bed” (That’s right, pal…not unless you ply me with a helluva lot of martinis first!)

 “Buyer couldn’t perform” (There’s a blue pill for that…)

“Just hit marget” (I’d prefer to hit you.)

“Will sacrafice” (What did you give up – your IQ?)

I’m Simply Floored

“Flor newly polished” (Did you buff her, too?)

“Floors need sand” (That little detail will cost about $2800 per foot in Malibu.)

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“Floors listen” (Are your other imaginary friends as courteous?)

“Hadwood floors” (Haswood brain.)

Ouch

“Overspay will be fixed” (“I believe that’s redundant,” said the neutered cat.)

“Complaints about nose” (I’d think you’d have more complaints about the plate in your head.)

Calling Dundee, Mates!

“Crocks in pool surface” (Body parts in pool water.)

 

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

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