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Opinion Editorials

Hijinks and loose links on the MLS – from silly to gross bloopers

We may have just taken a holiday, but there certainly was no holiday from real estate bloopers on the MLS, as well as on the web and in local ads. Georgina Hunter  from beautiful Maui found a lovely blooper this week involving valves, Bruce Walter sent some great gaffes from Indiana, and Fred Glick from Philadelphia is back with Fred’s Follies: Stupid Real Estate Questions From the Web. Wende Schoof from San Francisco and Jane Peters from Los Angeles also found some doozies. Please enjoy:

Pardon me?

“Send beds to listing agent”  (Why bother – you’re already asleep on the job.)

“Tediously maintained grounds” (Offered by Hoe-n-Hernia Realty)

“Brand New – Crowning soon” (I suggest you call your obstetrician.)

“Blank approval required” (Then look in the mirror, pal.)

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“Additional guess house” (The only guess is how you got your license.)

“Sinkin living room” (Sunken career.)

“Nice Interior shed” (Lovely – an in-house outhouse designed by  Jethro Clampett , your local indoor plumbing specialist.)

You’ve Got To be Kidding

“We can fiance you” (Good luck with that – I can’t even get a date.)

“New lower pride” (I hear ya, pal. In this economy, I’d sell a skating rink to a legless corpse if I could get a signature.)

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“New Pool for Sumner” (If you’re referring to Sumner Redstone, he needs a new pool like I need crotch itch.)

“Nice house in Inland Umpire”  (Hey, Abbott and Costello – “Who’s on first?”)

“Approved building plans… a $10,000 valve” (Either this is a house in the middle of  Hoover Dam, or Dr Michael DeBakey is back from the dead.)

Fred’s Follies (Question from Trulia)

Question:“i am realtor i was wandering how can get listings becuse had work before”

Answer: Dear Idiot, I suspect it is your mind that is wandering. I suggest you remove the icepick from your cranium before you honk and proceed.  You mentioned that you “had work before.” I am sorry to inform you that weaving baskets on Ward 6 doesn’t qualify you for anything other than politics. In Washington, confusion is an art form, and you are a natural. Good luck – you have my vote.

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Charles McDonald

    July 10, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    Thanks I needed a good laugh today. Always look forward to posts on Agent Genius

  2. Gwen Banta

    July 31, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Charles, I haven't been getting my AG notifications, so please consider this a late THANK YOU!

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