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Opinion Editorials

MLS Humor – “invisible walls” and other hilarious marketing mishaps

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have selected the mother lode of bloopers to add some smiles to your weekend. Some of these were flabbergasting!

Yes, sometimes even a wise mouth like me can be rendered speechless.

Thanks to Patrick Martin of Sotheby’s International Realty and Jane Peters of Power Brokers International for their hilarious contributions this week.

You’d Think Someone Would Have Noticed

“House with invisible walls” (Agent with invisible commission check.)

“Built with car class” (A shop teacher with ambition?)

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“Your clients will tank you” (No more than you just tanked yourself…)

“Steam and fry sauna” (What’s fried is your career, friend.)

“Mothers can be showing after noon only”  (Agents should be drinking after five only.)

Don’t Tempt Me!

“No smaking on premises’ (Too bad, because you could use one upside your head!)

“Worm lunch served” (Offered by Early Bird Realty.)

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“Grounds covered with dagwoods” (Is this a lawn or a deli?)

“Large stem room” (Let me guess – a room for folks with fat legs?)

Most Original Remark of the Week:

“Jack and Jack bath” (This must be in West Hollywood.)

And Now For the Runaway Spelling Train:

“Close to the freways, movie theater,few miles from venice beach.Home feature 3 bedroom,2 full bath with bonus room can be use as private office.double car garage and long drive way.Front yard is a paradice place with beautifull king palms and manicure gramma.”

(Grandma must have met this agent at Nail-In-Your-Coffin Nail Salon!)

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Remarks About a Listing with No Photos:

“Like nothing you’ve ever seen…just look at the photos”  (All I can see is the idiot who left his camera in the car…)

A $12M Hosing!

“Ideal for hosing two or 200…” (The biggest hosing was to the seller who hired you!)

That’s it until next week, friends. Type with care, because I’m always lurking.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS IN THE WORLD, AND TO MY DEAR MOTHER WHO, ALTHOUGH GONE, WILL ALWAYS BE PART OF ME.

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

24 Comments

24 Comments

  1. Michele Nixon

    May 6, 2011 at 6:20 am

    An agent in my office once offered a home with a "walk-in panty". 😀

  2. Lani Rosales

    May 6, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Jack and jack- that is AWESOME! If I had a listing in certain parts of town, I'd use that on purpose- brilliant! 🙂

  3. Joe Loomer

    May 6, 2011 at 11:17 am

    “Grounds covered with dagwoods” – would that be Brad Pitt's Pikey home?

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

    ….oh! And speaking of missing pictures? Where's your profile pic?

  4. Gwen Banta

    May 6, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    In Charlie Sheen's part of this town, it would be a Jack-Jill-and-Jill bathroom, Lani!

  5. Gwen Banta

    May 6, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Great "Snatch" reference, Joe. And speaking of profile pics…someone mush have snatched it! 🙂

  6. Gwen Banta

    May 7, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    Joe, if I ever get to Augusta, I will expect you to do all your impersonations for me. I bet you can even do Hilary Clinton!

  7. Gwen Banta

    May 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Michele, those "panties" and the "Bras for entertaining" MUST be Freudian!

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