A young woman in an executive meeting
I was wearing a black pant suit from Ann Taylor petites and a teal button up shirt starched within an inch of its life. I was the second to be seated and organized my contracts in my leather bound holder as seven grey haired men filed in, one by one. One made a comment about the Texas heat and about how far outside of town our corporate offices were but how beautiful it was. I sipped water from a short tumbler glass and was the only one using a coaster.
The board room was in the front of the main building and was completely glass walled, making skirts nearly impossible for me, thus pant suits. I was 21 and because of my young career accolades and achievements in education, I was head hunted sight unseen as the marketing director for a medium sized commercial real estate developer. I was the only woman in the entire company with a private office, the only in executive meetings, made more than double any other lady in the organization and had a female assistant.
In this meeting in my teal shirt, as we waited for the client, the President of the company said, “sweetheart, can you grab me some coffee?” Coffee? I quickly weighed my options- politely get coffee and deal with it later as most Southern gals would, stand up and walk out to pack my office, or hold my ground.
“Coffee? Really? I’m sitting at the same table with you, you’re barking up the wrong tree, princess.” I attempted a smile and held it.
My heart raced and in a quarter of a second, my career flashed before my eyes. Well, at least I would be leaving on a high note that would make for a great story for my future children. He smiled, hesitated, said, “okay then,” walking out of the room for his own coffee.
I stood my ground but I knew the risk would be that I would have a “bitch” reputation. It is confusing for women in the corporate world because you’re supposedly hired based on the merits of your qualifications, you sit at the same table with hundreds of men, yet are asked for coffee or thought of as a bitch- neither of which indicates respect.
My tolerance for jokes is high
I’m a native Texan, I love southern culture. I am laid back, silly, sometimes crude, and always southern- we don’t insult you behind your back down here, we smile and say it to your face.
I was born in the 80s and from a generation of rap enthusiasts and epithet abusers, I’ve even given a very popular Ignite presentation on curse words. My generation calls our friends “bitch” and “skank” and it doesn’t mean much. I’m not easily offended by much of anything and my threshold for cuss words and crude jokes is very high.
My tolerance for direct insults that strike at the core of my abilities as a professional, however, is extremely low.
It isn’t a thing of the past
Since The American Genius was founded, we’ve been asked to be part of many projects and companies, and we are very protective with our brand and rarely lend our name to anything outside of our own company, so when we do, it is a major endorsement.
One fall, we flew out to California for a board room meeting for a new company we were joining as leadership. The room was small and there were only six of us (including me and Benn). We were all tired for our own reasons, but there was an air of excitement in the air because this idea Benn started had come to fruition, had a little bit of funding, and now all we had to do was finish the product.
The air felt electric and enthusiasm was high, but it was deflated in an instant when a beloved male figure in this real estate web space that a lot of people including me looked up to said, “it’s about time you got on your knees” as I plugged in my laptop at his feet underneath the table.
Remember, I’m not easily offended, I love cussing and dirty jokes are awesome, but this was crushing. Shattering. How could someone everyone loves so much be so cruel? He revealed he had no respect for me (nor my husband). This time, I didn’t stand up, I sat down because it hurt more than some sexist Texan idiot. This was someone who is supposedly progressive, someone we had talked to for almost every day over the previous year.
It all became clear when later on that day while discussing the company’s Advisory Board, I was asked, “hey do you know any black women in real estate? We probably also need an Asian guy, who do you know?” Oh. Silently, I realized that I was invited to sit at the table because I fit some checklist of demographics. How shallow and ignorant. I thought my expertise and merit brought me to the table, but it was my tits. Needless to say, our relationship ended that day with all individuals of the startup. We left that night and never looked back.
Politics reveals sexism is alive and well
Mysogyny is common in politics, women don’t exactly have it easy in the world of public scrutiny. When Hillary Clinton ran for office, people talked about her pant suits. Her PANT SUITS! Who the hell cares about her fashion? But she was chastised for her outfits while fat old white guys wore paisley ties, shiny black belts, brown pants and blue shoes without a second thought- they were there for business, don’t look at their clothes, right?
Women on women mysogyny is common as well. Remember when Democratic Representative Janis Baird Sontany of Nashville said regarding her female Republican colleagues, “You have to lift their skirts to find out if they are women. You sure can’t find out by how they vote.”
Bill Maher is under fire currently not for constant berating of former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin and calling her stupid (which honestly is kind of funny sometimes), but for calling her a “c***,” possibly the most offensive word in the American lexicon. Using the word at a bar when you’re shoved by a drunk chick is far different than using it on national television (if that’s what you’d call HBO). How disgusting.
Maher gets a pass because he’s liberal, so that must mean he’s sensitive to women’s lib, right? False. Gross. Sick. That word is culturally unaccaptable, even if you’re a comedian. UPDATE: I have been told the word he chose started with a T and rhymes with clot, yet other reports say it starts with a C and rhymes with blunt, both of which are equally offensive in modern culture.
It isn’t just women politicians, it’s women in real estate
I recently called out an old school trainer for his fundamental misunderstanding about social media which resulted in a lengthy offline discussion with the trainer. He left an anonymous comment on our site referring to me as a “professional tweeter,” and used a tone as if I was a pig-tail wearing toddler who needed my lollipop taken away, not a seasoned marketer and Editor-in-chief at one of the largest digital publications in the industry.
In this situation, he looked a lot like the ridiculous Texan who demanded coffee.
The sexist nature of the industry is nothing new. It’s older than the inception of selling a house. NAR and NAHB were founded by older white guys, are run by older white guys and both act like an old white guy. “Go get me coffee, inferior person.” News organizations behave the same way- I was offered $35k to join up while my male counterpart would be making more… sorry, guys, my current income has the comma in a different place.
Women are defiminized in this space, even by other women- you go to a women’s organization or club within the industry and see if attendees aren’t catty about what other women are wearing. Really? You’re going to act like that too? You can’t get upset that you’re not the CEO if you GIVE permission to men to continue their current thought pattern, you’re proving them right.
Women have to be outrageous to lead in this industry. One growing brokerage comes to mind, led by an extremely intelligent woman, but she has to wear the hottest pink jacket on the market and Prada shoes to get attention. She has to get on stage and poo poo tradition to be seen. It shouldn’t be that way.
Where are all the women?
Of the 12 largest real estate brokerages in America, only one has a female CEO and even then, the Chairman of the Board is male. Century 21, Coldwell Banker, Keller Williams, Prudential, Weichart, Realty World, ERA, Exit, Realty Executives, Sotheby’s and Windermere all have older white male CEOs. It doesn’t stop there, look to Trulia, Zillow, Move, Inc., HotPads and others. That’s not their fault and they certainly shouldn’t invite a woman simply because they need a girl (or black woman or Asian guy). I wonder how many times RE/MAX CEO Margaret Kelly has been called a bitch for being a leader or asked to get coffee and declined?
Even awards lists are missing women, but where are the women leaders? I was recently named as one of the Top 100 Most Influential Real Estate Leaders and I got a flood of emails that praised me for being a female leader. I was disappointed that that was what people chose to focus on- my being a default feminist because I was on a list, rather than congratulations for being accomplished. Only 11 other women were on that list, and the award was chastised for being sexist, but I have to ask again, where are all the women in leadership roles? Are too many women scared of being called a bitch and just stick to gender-appropriate roles? What a waste.
Becoming a default feminist
The truth is, I get along best with men. I’m scrappy and kind of a smart alec, and that works for me. I grew up as one of the boys, I like sports, and I drink beer, but I love skirts, jewelry and home magazines too.
Because of the stand I’m taking today against sexism in the real estate industry, I’ll be labeled a feminist, a Code Pinker. I’ll be a default feminist and called upon to speak at conferences about the disparity in the industry between men and women.
That’s too bad, I don’t actually support most feminist groups, they’re more hippie than my Texan flavor cares for (I think the term is often abused and used as an excuse to complain). I believe in every American worker forging their own way DESPITE any obstacle. Despite the guy asking for coffee, despite the HR director calling you “babe” or “sweetheart,” or a real estate industry leader calls you “nothing more than a hot wife.” Life is a challenge, and we teach our daughter how to deal with all challenges rather than cry foul when they’re asked to fetch coffee.
I make my stand by calling my highest superior “princess” and smiling rather than complaining, but what can the women in real estate do to take their stand? The two best ways are to stand firm and dish it out, even if you’re called a bitch, and to get revenge by succeeding and rising above.
Ladies, let men think they’re the head, but as My Big Fat Greek Wedding teaches us, you can be the neck that controls where the head turns.
Rest in peace, Geraldine Ferraro. Thank you for inspiring us all.
Before you quit your job, ask yourself these 5 questions
(OPINION / EDITORIAL) Frustrated at work? Here are 5 ideas utilizing design thinking and exploration tactics to assess if you really are ready to quit your job.
We have all been there. We are in a job that just doesn’t feel right for us. Maybe we strongly dislike our manager or even our day to day work responsibilities. We find it easy to blame everyone else for everything we dislike. We question life and ask “Is this what life is all about? Shouldn’t I be spending my time doing something I am more passionate about?” But, we probably like the regular paycheck… Thus, we stay there and possibly become more miserable by the day. Some of us may even start to feel physical symptoms of headaches, stomach aches, and possibly depression. We also may go to the internet like this person seeking answers and hoping someone else can tell us what to do:
“I feel conflicted but I want to quit my job. What should I do?
I was thinking of quitting my job because I dislike what I do, and I feel I am underpaid.
However last week my colleague tendered her resignation too. Needless to say, if I leave too, my whole department will fall into a larger mess and that causes some feelings of conflict within me.
Should my colleague quitting affect when I want to leave too? How do I go about quitting now?”
We can definitely empathize with this – it’s really uncomfortable, sometimes sad, and hard to be in a position where we feel we are underpaid and we aren’t happy.
So, how can you navigate a situation like this? How do you figure out if you should just quit your job? How can you be an adult about this?
Here are some exploratory questions, ideas, and some design thinking activities to help you answer this question for yourself.
- Before you up and quit, assuming you don’t yet have your next opportunity lined up, have you considered asking for a raise – or better yet, figure out how you add value to the organization? Would your supervisor be willing to move you in to a new role or offer additional compensation?
- If you don’t have a job lined up, do you have the recommended AT LEAST six months of living expenses in your savings account? Some would recommend that you have even more during a global pandemic where unemployment is at an all-time high – it may take longer to find a new position.
- Do you have a safety net of family or friends that are willing and able to help you with your bills if you don’t have your regular paycheck? Would you be willing to put that burden on them so you can quit your job?
- Why aren’t you job searching if you are unhappy? Is it because the task seems daunting and the idea of interviewing right now makes you want to puke?
- What would your ideal job be and what would it take for you to go for it?
Many people claim they don’t like their job but they don’t know what to do next or even worse, don’t know what they WANT to do. To offer a little bit of tough love here: Well, then, that’s your job to figure it out. You can go on Reddit all you want, but no one else can tell you what is right for you.
Here are some ways to explore what may be an exciting career move for you or help you identify some areas that you need to learn more about in order to figure out where work will align with your skills, interests, and passions.
- Consider ordering the Design Your Life Workbook that provides writing prompts to help you figure out what it is that you are looking for in a job/career. You may also like the book Designing Your Work Life which is about “How to Thrive and Change and Find Happiness at Work”.
- Utilize design thinking to answer some of your questions. Make a diamond shape and in each of the four corners, write out the “Who” you want to be working with, “What” you’d like to be doing, “Where” you’d like to be, and “Why” you want to be there or doing that kind of work.
- Conduct informational interviews with people doing work that you think you might be interested in. Usually these conversations give you lots of interesting insights and either a green light to pursue something or validation that maybe that role isn’t right for you either.
- Get your resume updated. Sometimes just dusting off your resume, updating it, and making it ready gives you a feeling of relief that if you did really want to pursue a new job, you are almost ready. Consider updating your LinkedIn profile as well.
- Explore what you can do differently. A lot of what we can be frustrated about can be related to things out of our control. Consider exploring ways to work better with your team or how to grow to become invaluable. Tune in to Lindsey Pollak’s podcast, The Work Remix, where she gives great ideas on how to navigate working in current times where there are five generations in the workplace. There may be ways you need to adjust your communication style or tune in to emotional intelligence on how to better work with your supervisor or employees. Again, focus on what is within your control.
You may decide that you need to quit your job to be able to focus your energy on finding a better fit for you. But at the same time, be realistic. Most of us have to work to live. Everyone has bills, so you may continue working while you sort out some of the other factors to help you find a more exciting prospect. Either way, wishing you all the best on this journey, and the time and patience to allow you to figure it out.
New USPS duck-shaped truck design has mixed reactions
(OPINION / EDITORIAL) The USPS is getting a fleet of electronic delivery vehicles. We’re wondering if the actual design got lost in the mail.
So the USPS is getting new trucks and they look like ducks and maybe that sucks… or maybe it wucks. Like “works,” if a duck said it. Just give me this one please.
I don’t know how mean I can be here – there has to be something said for objective journalistic integrity – but I have a feeling most people are going to have a rather sarcastic reaction to the new design. I’m not so sure I can blame them – it has a kind of stubby little nose with a shortened hood and a boxy frame and super tall windshield, which gives the wheels a disproportionately large look compared to the rest of the silhouette. It’s sort of like a Nissan Cube but less millennial cool, which A) is discontinued (so maybe not so cool), and B) is not the car that had those giant hiphop hamsters running around, but I’m still going to link to it anyway.
The contract was awarded to Oshkosh Defense (which I was thrilled to find out is NOT the adorable kid’s clothing company, even though I personally think that would be hilarious if there was a factory making overalls for tiny humans alongside tactical defense trucks) and officially announced on February 23rd, 2021 to the tune of $482 million. Seriously though, someone is going to mix those up for the rest of all time and eternity; I’d never not think about my own baby pictures if some contractor from Oshkosh Defense showed up.
The release mentions that, “The historic investment is part of a soon-to-be-released plan the Postal Service has developed to transform its financial performance and customer service over the next 10 years through significant investments in people, technology and infrastructure as it seeks to become the preferred delivery service provider for the American public.” It’s called the NGDV – Next Generation Delivery Vehicle, which I happen to adore, and will pronounce as Nugduv, and you can’t stop me anyway. The old one was called the Grumman, by the way.
Some credit this as a radical change, and keeping in mind that radical doesn’t necessarily denote positive or negative, it seems like the perfect word to use here. Then there are those who correctly identify “a mixed bag of responses,” sort of like when you get a bag of candy at Halloween that has at least one thing no one likes. Some call it strange, while others defend it as something every new big vehicle should look like (this is where – as one of many – I found it called a “duck” which oh man do I love, quack quack).
We can also hit up the ever fair public opinion of Twitter, because why wouldn’t we?
Did it have to be… so… ugly?
It kinda looks like it came from The Incredibles universe. I kinda like how ugly it looks.?https://t.co/R5Mdmv3mnz
This is how I would draw a car. That is not a plus for this design
I really can’t get over that last one. But I mean, whoa. That’s quite the spectrum. There’s less disagreement on pizza toppings I think. But luckily I think we’re safe there – Domino’s makes people drive their personal cars.
Taking a step back and putting snide commentary away for a moment, there’s some areas that should be discussed. First – and what should probably be obvious – there was a laundry list of requirements and restrictions from the USPS, which made Nir Kahn – design director from custom carmaker Plasan – offer up his own tweets that give some insight on dimensions and design:
I was involved in an early proposal for the USPS truck so I know the requirements well. They pretty much dictated the proportions – this package sketch shows that to meet the ergonomic and size requirements, there wasn’t much freedom 1/2 #USPS pic.twitter.com/Fk35g98Z83
Kahn mentions that “there wasn’t much freedom,” but also that “it could have looked much better,” and this sort of underlines the entire discussion I think – there were goals in place, and possibly some more aesthetically pleasing ways to meet them, but the constraints won out and drove (hehe) the design more than style did.
Certainly, there are other concerns – the ability for USPS drivers to reach a mailbox while seated is paramount. Others have pointed out that this design – with its large windshield and shortened front – should help with safety around small children (all the better if they are wearing Oshkosh B’gosh, because that implies they are tiny and may not be at all concerned with the dangers of streets). The open field-of-vision will aid in making sure drivers can navigate places that might be frequented by any number of pedestrians, so that’s a plus.
Further, if you get struck by one of these, you’ll basically “just” get kneecapped versus taking it square to the torso. The duck article is the one making this call, and I think there’s some merit there (though it makes me question how the USPS fleet is going to do against the SUVs and big trucks out in the wild). It then goes on to point out that this design has more cargo space, fitting into the idea of “rightsizing,” where the form and function of the vehicle meet in a way that is downsized, but still punches above its weight.
“From smaller fire engines to nimbler garbage trucks, making vehicles better scaled to urban tasks can make a huge difference, not only for keeping other cars moving on narrow streets, but also to ensure that humans on those same streets can access the bike lanes, sidewalks, and curb cuts they need to get around.”
I didn’t try too hard to find stats on crashes in mail trucks, but seems like something that should be addressed.
Maybe the biggest point here is that we sort of have to get new trucks – they are outliving their 24 year expectancy and catching on fire. On FIRE. I mean a mail truck might be the worst place for a fire. I’m not even sure I can’t think up a better answer… Ok maybe toilets would be worse.
The new vehicles can be either petrol or electric powered, have 360 cameras, airbags, and automatic braking. Oh, and air conditioning, which the old vehicles did not have. So yes, literally the worst place to have a fire. But due to the taller vehicles, someone can stand in them now! So escape is even easier! Hooray!
A series of delays pushed back the introduction of new vehicles from their 2018 projected date, with poor initial prototypes and the pandemic being major setbacks. Aggressive bidding led to extended deadlines, which had been narrowed down to a small list of candidates that included Workhorse (who unfortunately suffered a large stock plunge following the announcement). It’s been in the works for at least six years.
In the end, I don’t think we can discount all the advantages here – more efficient vehicles that are safer and provide drivers with modern amenities. That’s a LOT of good. I think once the initial goofy shock is over, the design will be accepted. Everyone thought Nintendo’s Wii was a hilarious name (still pretty much is regardless of being in the public book of acceptable nomenclature), and Cybertruck sales are brisk, so I think we can set a lot of this aside. The Edsel these are not.
So hey, new USPS vehicles in 2023, like an exceedingly late birthday present. All I want to see is a bunch of baby ducks following one of them around oh please let that happen. The USPS kind of has an identity crisis in the modern era, so maybe a funny little cute silly boxmobile is just the right way to get some attention.
Declutter your quarantine workspace (and brain)
(EDITORIAL) Can’t focus? Decluttering your workspace can help you increase productivity, save money, and reduce stress.
It’s safe to say that we’ve all been spending a lot more time in our homes these last few months. This leads us to fixate on the things we didn’t have time for before – like a loose doorknob, or an un-alphabetized bookshelf, or that we’ve put off ‘declutter’ on our to-do list for too long.
The same goes for our workspaces. Many of us have had to designate a spot at home to use for work purposes. For those of you who still need to remain on-site, you’ve likely been too busy to focus on your surroundings.
Cleaning and organizing your workspace every so often is important, regardless of the state of the world, and with so much out of our control right now, this is one of the few things we can control.
Whether you’re working from a home office or an on-site office, take some time for quarantine decluttering. According to The Washington Post, taking time to declutter can increase your productivity, lower stress, and save money (I don’t know about you, but just reading those 3 things makes me feel better already).
Clutter can cause us to feel overwhelmed and make us feel a bit frazzled. Having an office space filled with piles of paper containing irrelevant memos from five years ago or 50 different types of pens, has got to go – recycle that mess and reduce your stress. The same goes with clearing files from your computer; everything will run faster.
Speaking of running faster, decluttering and creating a cleaner workspace will also help you be more efficient and productive. Build this habit by starting small: try tidying up a bit at the end of every workday, setting yourself up for a ready-to-roll morning.
Cleaning also helps you take stock of stuff that you have so that you don’t end up buying more of it. Create a designated spot for your tools and supplies so that they’re more visible – this way, you’ll always know what you have and what needs to be replenished. This will help you stop buying more of the same product that you already have and save you money.
So, if you’ve been looking to improve your focus and clearing a little bit of that ‘quarantine brain’, start by getting your workspace in order. You’ll be amazed at how good it feels to declutter and be “out with the old”; you may even be inspired to do the same for your whole house. Regardless, doing this consistently will create a positive shift in your life, increasing productivity, reducing stress, and saving you money.
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