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Opinion Editorials

Nothing speared – real estate bloopers that miss the point

Fall has arrived and leaves are falling off the trees, my friends. These real estate bloopers indicate that a lot of nuts have fallen off as well. Here’s some autumn color for you:

Amenities You Can Live Without

“Nothing speared” (I suppose that’s a good selling point…if you’re a tuna.)

“New plow price” (That’s nice if you’re into tractor pulls.)

“Privates purchase” (That’s against the law… unless you’re a member of Congress of course.)

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“Windsor village ppl home” (Windsor? I think the Village People live in West Hollywood – hence all the sequined shoes!)

‘Built-in girl” (You must be referring to Chaz Bono.)

“Good seals in attic and basement” (Methinks the seals would prefer to be kept in the pool…)

And Then There’s Dexter…

“New head in shower” (New inmate in San Quentin)

“Has sold bones” (You forgot the head, Dexter – it’s still in the shower.)

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“Scream in back” (I assume this preceded the shower incident.)

“Corrections will be made” (Dexter, meet your new warden…)

From Left to Right 

“Come for tea party” (“Tea Party”? This is L.A. – your head will end up in liberal shower! )

“Lots of cook air” (Maybe the cook should lay off the beans.)

“Just needs paint and flugging up” (I’ll tell you who’s flugged up!)

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“Diamond in the rug” (…and rocks in the head)

This Week’s Fave:

“A true wander” (Yep – just like your thought patterns…)

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Rosy at ComFree

    October 21, 2011 at 8:38 am

    These are hilarious. I love it when I catch spelling mistakes as well, especially when hilarity ensues because of it. Thanks for this!

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