MLS Season Cheer – Knockers and Rockers

Isn’t it amazing how the holidays are fraught with stress due to shopping costs, property tax bills and renewals for every fee under the sun? (Who times these things anyway?) Just in case the discomfort of all those hands in your pocket is getting you down, how about a few more MLS bloopers for Holiday cheer?

Is That Legal?

“Many great schools – pub and privates” (Located in the Suds and Sex School District)

“Extensively remodeled horse on beautiful street” (Offered by Don Corleone Realty)

“Spataclula Deal (A great buy on a Greek Pastry Shop)

“Newdly plastered walls” (Lewdly plastered agent.)

“Staircase with carved barristers” (A good way to dispose of your ex’s divorce lawyer.)

“Famous Rocker’s L.A. Villa with Heloc pad (For money drops after record flops)

“Sports equip and trampeling negotiable.” (A house with a gym in Pamplona.) 

It’s All In the Details 

“You won’t find a butter deal” (Did you hear the one about the farmer’s daughter…)

“New landscraping” (Specializing in face peels for your garden)

“Gas startg friarplace” (A hotspot for dyspeptic monks)

“Ugrated kitchen, dog run,…” (Kitchen – Ugh, but Room for the Pug)

“Peed a terrer” (A place that will scare the p_ss out of you)

“Fish tanked” (Flipper took a Booze Cruise)

“Seller will not provide termites.”

 (Disclosure: Extermination Proclamation)

“Influenced by famous artifact” (A colossal fossil for mummy.) 

Bonus Round

“Georges appliances. Make an offer!” (Uh, what size is George’s appliance?)

“Enjoy the sounds of the rumbling serf” (For the man who wants to be lord of his castle.)

“Pool with clover” (From the agent who cannot spell “algae”.)

“Skunken lvg rm” (Wolf in bedroom?)

“Leaded gass windows” (High octane and a dose of methane.)

“Coven ceilings” (And extra broom closets to park the ride?)

“Fully equipped medium room” (Contact your dead relatives with no dropped calls.)

And This Week’s Uplifting Winner:

“If no response, use knockers.” (Well, it always works for Pamela Anderson…)