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Real Estate ‘n’ Los Angeles – “We Love It!”

 mulholland poster color

For quite some time I have been collecting misspelled names of people and well-known places in our area. Sometimes the misspellings are even better than the actual names. Others, however, are just plain funny. Who could possibly argue that “Blurbank” Airport wouldn’t be a better name for that smog covered destination spot?  And “Universaltile” Studios kind of says it all, doesn’t it? Please enjoy: 

Selling in the Land of Oz

“Designed by Frank Lord Wright” (Yes, some thought he was a god…)

“New Thermaldoor Fridge” (This actually make sense…if you plan to wear the door to go skiing.)

“Pt. Doom in Malibu” (That’s Dune…unless you’re the Grim Reaper.)

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“Studio in Sliverlake” (That’s Silverlake…although there is barely a sliver of water.)

“Near the beach in beautiful Belmont Sore” (Where the water obviously breeds contagions…)

“Views of Gotty Museum” (That’s Getty…unless you’re referring to a butcher shop in    Jersey. )

“Lorna Ashley Prints” (Lorna Luft married Ashley Simpson and created this line of fabrics. They later created a cookie called Lorna Doone. “Lorna Doom” if you are in Malibu of course.)

“Beverlywould” (That’s Beverlywood. Or would Beverly?  Bev? Bev? Wouldya Bev?)

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History 101

“Grivith Park” (That’s Griffith Park – Purchased by Melanie, of course, right after she        married Andy Griffith and gave birth to Opie, who changed his name to Ron Howard right after the Aunt Bea-Gomer scandal. No wonder Ron lost his hair.)

“Gazelle Park” (That’s Glassell Park, unless part of LA Zoo is for sale. Oh, wait a minute…which part of L.A. is NOT a zoo?)

“Marina DelRoy” (It used to be Marina Del Rey until actor Delroy Lindo won the marina in a    floating crap game. The floating crap was in the harbor.)

“Whiter” (This was Whittier…until it turned a Whiter Shade of Pale.)

“Handcock Park” (Seriously??? That’s Hancock, you pervert!)

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“Near LAXE” (Los Angeles Airport – renamed because flying out of this airport is sure to make you s__t your shorts.)

“Splanish Ranch in Asusa” (Gesundheit! That’s Azusa – as in “A to Z in the USA . Does that ‘splain things? )

A New Spin

“Big Bare Lake” (It’s BEAR, as in “Run like hell because your bare butt is about to be     devoured by Yogi.”)

“Vikonins in the kitchen” (That’s Viking… or did you mean Vicodin?  In which case, it’s   highly doubtful the Vikings you see in the kitchen come with the property.)

“Near Copton” (That’s Compton…and I doubt that even the cops are willing to go there.)

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“Go N on Beaverly Glan” (Is this Beverly Glen, the road; or Beaverly Glan, the porn star? )

“Lke Arhd” (Not the best abbreviation for Lake Arrowhead – unless that’s code for         “Hooters Lake.”)

My Fave:

“Near Mullhaulin”: (That’s the best description I’ve ever seen for that hold-onto-your-skivvies, meet-your-maker E Ride we call the Mulholland Flyway! 

It’s L.A. – ya’ gotta love it!

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

25 Comments

25 Comments

  1. Joe Loomer

    February 12, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Only in Californica!

    I heard they’re renaming San Fransisco to San Pelocosico!

    Navy Chief, Navy Prude!!

  2. Gwen Banta

    February 12, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Joe, it’s so nice to know you are up on all the latest CA news. So you probably have already heard that we are changing the name of L.A.’s Mandeville Canyon to Mandible Canyon, because you can’t drive through without having your tires chewed up? And famous Benedict Canyon is about to become Benediction Canyon, because you have to say a prayer before you merge into oncoming traffic. Laurel Canyon remains unchanged because many ot our residents are too laid back to shake things up, otherwise we would be Locoweed Canyon. Ah, yes, “Obladi oblada life goes on bra…”

  3. Patrick

    February 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    Just can not get enough of your posts. I’ve a whole new desire to find the funny in this otherwise laughable profession. Keep it up…the posts, that is! (That’s the best I can do…sorry)

  4. Gwen Banta

    February 12, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    Thanks, Patrick. I had another funny incident happen today that may make you smile a bit more. I locked myself into a parking garage in a small condo complex in Hollywood and couldn’t get out (it’s too complicated to explain). I called for help through the iron gate and a homeless person came up to help me. I told her I could give her the gate code so she could enter the outer door and then come around to the garage to open the garage gate from the condo side of the entrance. She told me she had an important meeting with “Darf Vader,” and then she gave ME a quarter and walked away. Luckily someone came home and the gate opened so I could dash out. But isn’t it nice to know I rate even lower than an imaginary person?

  5. Julie Falen

    February 13, 2010 at 12:36 am

    WHat I love best about that story is that she was waiting for “Darf Vader” and gave YOU money! I think that’s hysterical.! As a resident of Hollywood (Hollywould) it wouldn’t have surprised me if she COULD have gotten into the condo complex to open the door. BUt I woujldn’t trade it – and I love someone who spells right and sees the giggles in the mis-spelled.
    Nice to run into your post Gwen, instead of the plugging away I did at Open Houses.
    Hope all is god in your world.

  6. Gwen Banta

    February 13, 2010 at 2:02 am

    Thank YOU, Julie. I just want everyone to know that I really tried to insist that she keep her quarter, but she was too busy talking to some imaginary person to listen to me. She had on a hat made of aluminum foil, and it seemed to me that she MUST be a lightening magnet. That would certainly explain her relationship with Darf. Incidentally, I don’t know if you intended to misspell “good” in your last sentence, but the line certainly works both ways, doesn’t it? I love it!

  7. Fred Glick

    February 13, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    Gwen,

    I hear that Fred Lord Right dude has some cool pads!

  8. Gwen Banta

    February 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    Yes, Lord Fred, you are right – and may you get a helluva commissio for all of them!

  9. Fred Glick

    February 13, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    I have actually written a few posts about spelling, language and the reel s tate agent.

    What amazes me is people that will use these agents to write and negotiate contracts for them for the largest and most important purchase of their lives.

    Priceless stupidity.

  10. Gwen Banta

    February 13, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Some poor spellers have great minds, Fred. I will say, however, that when spell check is available (and it isn’t always), it does seem a neglect of detail not to use it. I am a terrible typist – I even have to look at the keys (a serious challenge because, in addition to a lack of manual dexterity, I am also half blind). Thus, it is easy for me to make typos. I always encourage proof reading because typos can make us look idiotic . Witness the guy who put an ad in our MLS Weekend Guide that said, “Live Near the Hollywood Bowel”!

  11. Fred Glick

    February 13, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    How hard is it to read what you’ve written before hitting the “send” button.

    I’ll bet we can make a fortune as real estate proof readers by charging $10 per listing and guarantee perfect spelling and language.

    We can then write a Dumb and Dumber like real estate agent script.

    Don’t get me started!! Oh, OK, get me started…we could have a lot fun doing it!

  12. Gwen Banta

    February 13, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    Ha – I love your passion, Fred! In one of my earlier blogs I spoke about taking the MLS “Hoof in Mouth” show on the comedy circuit. I admit I am guilty of mentally filling in what I MEANT to type rather than seeing the written word. Hence, my recent error in referring to a Dr. Dunhill as Dr. Dunghill (probably only appropriate if he were a proctologist). When are we going to get spellcheck on AG? Of course, that never addresses the synonym problem, which is the source of so many errors…and the reason I drink.

  13. Fred Glick

    February 13, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    Luckily, I have a mac that continually spellchecks. It’s a little secret thing that makes them so much better.

    Next time I’m in LA, drinks are on me with a free spelling and typing lesson for your proctologist!

  14. Gwen Banta

    February 13, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    I’ll take you up on that, Fred. “And maybe I should switch from a PC to Mac for the spell checker,” the girl with huge feat told herself while unconsciously stroking the hare on her chin just below her bulbous read knows.

  15. Fred Glick

    February 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    ….and their orchestra! I think we should take this off AG. Email me direct fred at fredglick.com he said as he feated the glove of his red-armed armadillo while running his Penguin for Governor of Alaska in 1947…….

  16. James Malanowski

    February 14, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    “Pt. Doom in Malibu” (That’s Dune…unless you’re the Grim Reaper.)

    Actually, it’s “Dume” but let’s not ruin the fun.

  17. Gwen Banta

    February 15, 2010 at 1:45 am

    Ah hah – you caught the mouse catcher – that’s fantastic – thanks, James!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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