People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Joe Loomer
February 12, 2010 at 8:59 am
Only in Californica!
I heard they’re renaming San Fransisco to San Pelocosico!
Navy Chief, Navy Prude!!
Gwen Banta
February 12, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Joe, it’s so nice to know you are up on all the latest CA news. So you probably have already heard that we are changing the name of L.A.’s Mandeville Canyon to Mandible Canyon, because you can’t drive through without having your tires chewed up? And famous Benedict Canyon is about to become Benediction Canyon, because you have to say a prayer before you merge into oncoming traffic. Laurel Canyon remains unchanged because many ot our residents are too laid back to shake things up, otherwise we would be Locoweed Canyon. Ah, yes, “Obladi oblada life goes on bra…”
Patrick
February 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Just can not get enough of your posts. I’ve a whole new desire to find the funny in this otherwise laughable profession. Keep it up…the posts, that is! (That’s the best I can do…sorry)
Gwen Banta
February 12, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Thanks, Patrick. I had another funny incident happen today that may make you smile a bit more. I locked myself into a parking garage in a small condo complex in Hollywood and couldn’t get out (it’s too complicated to explain). I called for help through the iron gate and a homeless person came up to help me. I told her I could give her the gate code so she could enter the outer door and then come around to the garage to open the garage gate from the condo side of the entrance. She told me she had an important meeting with “Darf Vader,” and then she gave ME a quarter and walked away. Luckily someone came home and the gate opened so I could dash out. But isn’t it nice to know I rate even lower than an imaginary person?
Julie Falen
February 13, 2010 at 12:36 am
WHat I love best about that story is that she was waiting for “Darf Vader” and gave YOU money! I think that’s hysterical.! As a resident of Hollywood (Hollywould) it wouldn’t have surprised me if she COULD have gotten into the condo complex to open the door. BUt I woujldn’t trade it – and I love someone who spells right and sees the giggles in the mis-spelled.
Nice to run into your post Gwen, instead of the plugging away I did at Open Houses.
Hope all is god in your world.
Gwen Banta
February 13, 2010 at 2:02 am
Thank YOU, Julie. I just want everyone to know that I really tried to insist that she keep her quarter, but she was too busy talking to some imaginary person to listen to me. She had on a hat made of aluminum foil, and it seemed to me that she MUST be a lightening magnet. That would certainly explain her relationship with Darf. Incidentally, I don’t know if you intended to misspell “good” in your last sentence, but the line certainly works both ways, doesn’t it? I love it!
Fred Glick
February 13, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Gwen,
I hear that Fred Lord Right dude has some cool pads!
Gwen Banta
February 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm
Yes, Lord Fred, you are right – and may you get a helluva commissio for all of them!
Fred Glick
February 13, 2010 at 8:42 pm
I have actually written a few posts about spelling, language and the reel s tate agent.
What amazes me is people that will use these agents to write and negotiate contracts for them for the largest and most important purchase of their lives.
Priceless stupidity.
Gwen Banta
February 13, 2010 at 8:53 pm
Some poor spellers have great minds, Fred. I will say, however, that when spell check is available (and it isn’t always), it does seem a neglect of detail not to use it. I am a terrible typist – I even have to look at the keys (a serious challenge because, in addition to a lack of manual dexterity, I am also half blind). Thus, it is easy for me to make typos. I always encourage proof reading because typos can make us look idiotic . Witness the guy who put an ad in our MLS Weekend Guide that said, “Live Near the Hollywood Bowel”!
Fred Glick
February 13, 2010 at 8:58 pm
How hard is it to read what you’ve written before hitting the “send” button.
I’ll bet we can make a fortune as real estate proof readers by charging $10 per listing and guarantee perfect spelling and language.
We can then write a Dumb and Dumber like real estate agent script.
Don’t get me started!! Oh, OK, get me started…we could have a lot fun doing it!
Gwen Banta
February 13, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Ha – I love your passion, Fred! In one of my earlier blogs I spoke about taking the MLS “Hoof in Mouth” show on the comedy circuit. I admit I am guilty of mentally filling in what I MEANT to type rather than seeing the written word. Hence, my recent error in referring to a Dr. Dunhill as Dr. Dunghill (probably only appropriate if he were a proctologist). When are we going to get spellcheck on AG? Of course, that never addresses the synonym problem, which is the source of so many errors…and the reason I drink.
Fred Glick
February 13, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Luckily, I have a mac that continually spellchecks. It’s a little secret thing that makes them so much better.
Next time I’m in LA, drinks are on me with a free spelling and typing lesson for your proctologist!
Gwen Banta
February 13, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I’ll take you up on that, Fred. “And maybe I should switch from a PC to Mac for the spell checker,” the girl with huge feat told herself while unconsciously stroking the hare on her chin just below her bulbous read knows.
Fred Glick
February 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm
….and their orchestra! I think we should take this off AG. Email me direct fred at fredglick.com he said as he feated the glove of his red-armed armadillo while running his Penguin for Governor of Alaska in 1947…….
James Malanowski
February 14, 2010 at 6:29 pm
“Pt. Doom in Malibu” (That’s Dune…unless you’re the Grim Reaper.)
Actually, it’s “Dume” but let’s not ruin the fun.
Gwen Banta
February 15, 2010 at 1:45 am
Ah hah – you caught the mouse catcher – that’s fantastic – thanks, James!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!