People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
MIssy Caulk
January 22, 2010 at 7:45 am
You can’t make this stuff up.
Gwen Banta
January 22, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Truth is stranger than fiction, Missy…and so is real Estate!
Joe Loomer
January 23, 2010 at 9:09 am
Wow – I saw the “stable area” and wondered if it meant the same thing it does here – as in “horse stable!” Probably not, but that’s a story for another day!
Navy Chief, Navy Pride
Gwen Banta
January 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Joe, In Hollywood it could mean anything. This IS the wild West , you know. Paris Hilton is our Sheriff, and Charlie Sheen is Mayor. The City Council usually meets in the Viper Room. We purify our water supply with Stoli, and we pave our streets with any greenback smaller than a twenty. Up-and-coming starlets are used as speed bumps, and agents are our main weapon against terrorists. (Nobody in his right mind would take on a Hollywood agent.)
Laws are “negotiable here, Joe,” and when we DO manage to wrangle a roustabout, we give him/her a reality show just to teach them a darn lesson. Due to overcrowding, the Beverly Hills Hotel has been adopted as a satellite jail. If an offender is overly recalcitrant, he is forced to order ONLY from the menu – that’s hurts, you know. Many belong to a religious order called “Paparazzi Presbyterian,” where the old Bible verse about not hiding one’s light under a bushel has been reinterpretted to mean “always have a strobe light in the trunk of the Bentley.”
I-phones are considered “appropriate attire,” however, clothing is optional. We are green, lean and mean…with abundant teens and queens. We are a force NOT to be reckoned with. (I love L.A.!)
Melissa Zavala
January 23, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Those really made me laugh. Thanks for sharing–although it doesn’t really reflect well on our fellow Realtors who (apparently) cannot master dissemination of accurate information on the MLS.
Patrick Flynn
January 23, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Gwen Banta-the Jerry Sienfeld
Patrick Flynn
January 23, 2010 at 11:29 pm
Gwen Banta-the Jerry Sienfeld of Real Estate blogs. I love her posts!
Gwen Banta
January 23, 2010 at 11:40 pm
I agree, Melissa. Maybe the State Real Estate exam should include a test for spelling and syntax. (I am sure some folks think syntax is a tax levied in Vegas.)
Gwen Banta
January 23, 2010 at 11:42 pm
Thank you, Patrick – unfortunately I am about as coordinated as Kramer!