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The MLS – With Zest!

3062886531_e99b28a90f_mWell, it didn’t take long to collect a few more MLS typos that are real hooters…uh, I mean “hoots.” Take heed when typing, friends, and remember that “success” is only one letter away from “suck-cess”; and “goof” is only nine letters away from “big fat loser.”

Dyslexia Dyspepsia

“Oak bra with custom neon clock” (Knockers with clockers)

“Double duuch doors” (Pardon me?)

“Bar with eight custom made brown stools” (Brought to you by Fiber Flow)

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“Enjoy the heated pole” (Strip and Dip)

“Near bust route” (Cue the chorus: …over hill, over dale…)

Do as I do, Not as I Say

“Located near Littly Italy (Someone had a littly too much Chianti)

“Seller will not pay for any introspections” (Will he at least pay for Prozac?)

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“Owners evacuated – will consider all offers” (This must be the House o’ Brown Stools.)

“Shower with multiple heads”  (Nightmare on Elm Street)

“Near shooping area” (Now say that really fast in Yiddish…)

Keyboard Calamities

“Turn R at old despot” (This must be Idi Amin Boulevard…)

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“Make me an odder” (You can’t GET any odder!)

“Building recently ratrofitted” (This must be a cheese shop…)

“Studio available in roe house” (Hmm…Beggar’s Budget…Caviar Dreams)

“Garage reflamed” (This must be a garage in  Littly Italy)

And This Week’s Fave:

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“For breast response, please email” (Tuned in and Turned on in the Techno Age – Kinky-dink!)

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Gwen Banta

    March 26, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    No naked people, Dean? Consider yourself lucky. They are never the ones you want to see! Thanks for the shout out.

  2. Joe Loomer

    March 27, 2010 at 8:18 am

    Wow. Wood bras, stripper poles, fish eggs, rats, and italian nutcases, And that’s just the MLS! I have GOT to get me to LA one of these days….

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  3. Gwen Banta

    March 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Give me advanced warning, Joe, because Hell hath wrought nothing like a Loomer on the Loose! I’ll break out the booze, hide the women, and stock up on film!

  4. Joe Loomer

    March 27, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    I once sharted on the streets of Gibraltar, but that’s a story for another day….

  5. Nashville Grant

    April 8, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    I just ran across this one today, this is from a $2 mil bank owned home (expensive in our market):

    Not a short stale, this is a banked own home. IS AS Where As. Please bring all offers and write them on contracts. Show and sell!!

    Dear God, where do I start? I’m thinking in 5th grade english class…wow.

  6. Gwen Banta

    April 9, 2010 at 2:31 am

    Grant, my guess is that someone did a few shooters when he got the new listing!

  7. Nashville Grant

    April 9, 2010 at 9:47 am

    Seriously. Or perhaps decisions like the one to use this agent are part of the reason some banks are in the shape they are in…

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