Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
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Ricardo Bueno
May 21, 2008 at 9:12 pm
…they keep me informed.
Tyler Osby
May 21, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Great question Matthew!
I’d say I look for best practices across the country. I’m always picking up great ideas (such as how to use the web for connecting with potential clients). I also enjoy the community. Everyone’s so well connected. If someone has a question, they just reach out and get answers!
Keep creating great conversation!
Tyler
Jonathan Dalton
May 21, 2008 at 9:39 pm
… I’m a masochist.
Seriously, I learn a great deal from them else I wouldn’t do it.
Erion Shehaj
May 21, 2008 at 9:41 pm
… Because MCE courses suck
Mark A.
May 21, 2008 at 9:47 pm
… every once in a while, someone discovers a new sidebar widget that I don’t yet know about, but must have for my blog. That’s because I love gadgets. And Widgets. But not the ones from Trulia.
Susan Hilton - Texas Aggie Realtor
May 21, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Because together we can all become so much better and alone we fall.
Paula Henry
May 21, 2008 at 10:07 pm
It’s a rare day when I don’t find something new and interesting! and the keyboard doesn’t leave black ink on my fingers.
Bob
May 21, 2008 at 10:16 pm
At first I hated most of the real estate blogs, but I’m an info junkie and love to learn. How can anyone read Russ Shaw, Bill Lubin, and others and not learn something?
Kathy Drewien
May 21, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I started reading real estate blogs that focused on the national perspective because I wanted to be informed. Then, I began reading Atlanta real estate blogs because I was curious about my competition. My next move was to read blogs by real estate agents who talked to real estate agents. I have now added blogs by real estate agents who talk to their clients. My consistent focus has been to learn. connect and enlarge my community. That’s what got me hooked on blogs by real estate educators. 😉
Michelle DeRepentigny
May 21, 2008 at 10:38 pm
for industry information, educational purposes, and for entertainment!
Vicki Moore
May 21, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I love to learn. I’ve gotten much more than that from reading blogs though: friendships, support, encouragement – and like Michelle: entertainment!!!
The Harriman Team
May 21, 2008 at 11:32 pm
To learn, stay current with industry issues, learn, network, contribute to the conversation, learn, make new friends…did I mention learn?? Reading all the nuggets of wisdom in my feed reader every day, I can’t help but learn something.
Watching the drivel on my cable TV = ~$70/month
Dining out (undercooked) and a movie (mostly TV drivel on a bigger screen) = ~$100
Having the privilege of reading the Masters of RE every morning = priceless
Life is good…
Jay Thompson
May 21, 2008 at 11:45 pm
. . . they are there.
. . . they piss me off.
. . . they make me laugh.
. . . it’s a great way to meet other people.
. . . it’s a great way to learn.
. . . all of the above.
Luxury Homes For Sale
May 22, 2008 at 2:33 am
Hi Matt!
Nice question..
“I read real estate industry blogs because……”
Because it’s really informative..
tons of information i can find here about real estate..
the other thing is that i can share my site to you guys..
Vance Shutes
May 22, 2008 at 4:10 am
“Having the privilege of reading the Masters of RE every morning = priceless”
This says it all. I read RE blogs to learn something new every day, and by doing so, I’m able to serve my clients better every day.
Genuine Chris Johnson
May 22, 2008 at 5:28 am
need for self torture left unfulfilled by other activities.
Faina Sechzer
May 22, 2008 at 5:30 am
Real estate blogs offer information and exchange of ideas difficult to find from other sources. Conversation between local professionals could often be constraint by the competitive issues.
Matthew Rathbun
May 22, 2008 at 6:10 am
Ricardo – Great
Tyler – I like the “community” aspect as well. Whereas I am a big fan of micro-markets; hearing ideas form those willing to share and putting own local spin on it is a great benefit!
Jonathan – We know you are! Seriously, the issue of being worth my while, has been a large reason for me asking this question. I am glad that you see a ROI for reading the blogs! I know that I do, too.
Erion – Yes, yes CE classes typically suck, but I know that there is a revival of sorts with younger students and instructors wanting – no, demanding – more value in the classes. However, having said that; seeing honest opinion mixed with education is blogs is typically more valuable IMHO.
Mark – I am snickering a bit at the Trulia plug… Yep, the free and useful tools that someone else has used in “real life” was one of the initial tugs for me too!
Susan – That’s an interesting point and one that isn’t wildly shared. I agree that sharing with each other is a great value for the collective. However, I don’t know that I feel that RE Blogging is pulling us together. Do you think that at times, it’s drawing folks to sides that they may not have otherwise been on?
Paula – Really? Black Ink or Blisters? I don’t know which is worse. I’ve cracked more than one keyboard responding to a comment 😉
Bob – I am with you on this, Russell, Benn, Bill, Vicky, Jim etc…. They are well worth the time to read and learn from. Even in disagreeing with some of these folks, I’ve been challenged to do more self exploration and show reason for my point of view.
Kathy – Education is the key point in my opinion. I am seeing more and more that agents are doing the pattern that you laid out. I read this, which lead to that, which lead to this… Knowing one’s competition and learning from successful people are very valuable points of reading!
Michelle – Entertainment, we have – if you like Reality TV :)~
Vicki – I’ve said it before, I see your genuine personality when you write. It’s magnetic to see folks like you sharing. I wish more people (myself included at times) saw the RE.net as a way to make business friends and to share with each other.
Harriman – Yep, reading people who are actually doing it and getting all this “coaching” for free is a GREAT benefit.
Jay – Honestly, when I asked the question, your’s was the one answer I wanted to hear more. I don’t think you really feel that you read them “because they are there”, although that is very funny. I DO think you read them because you are passionate about honest information and doing the “right” thing, which is why they tick you off at times. That passion and energy you have to share, question the status quo and buck the system is what makes you fun to read. Even when you tick me off – I still find value is hearing an opposing opinion! Unlike many – you still maintain your professionalism even during debate. Thanks for that.
Luxury – Do you really find that folks read your blog, because you comment on theirs? That’s an interesting point that I hadn’t considered. Do you find that you start writing for re.net at that point?
Genuine – Yes, I have to admit that I occasionally through my hands in the air asking why I go to some posts, or some authors. I have enough stress in my day to not need to read it. I don’t know about anyone else, but I hate unsettled issues or to know that someone didn’t grasp my point of view or vision – it irks me at times. I don’t know why we tend to torture ourselves in this way..
Faina – Yep, local instructors or speakers are usually not very well received because it’s perceived that they don’t wish to give all of their “secrets”. Here’s the thing about most of the good bloggers out there. They know that no matter how much they share, only about 10 percent of readers will even attempt what they talk about. Only half of these might succeed. (
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Matthew Rathbun
May 22, 2008 at 8:58 am
OK, so to those who have answered the first question – here is the second; WHY DO YOU COMMENT ON BLOGS?
Ken Smith
May 22, 2008 at 9:28 am
Why read?- What you are dealing with today someone else dealt with yesterday and already blogged about it. So much information out there you just need to look and find trusted resources to learn from.
Why Comment? – That varies based on the blog. But the main reasons are to attempt to help others, to network, and sometimes just for the link.
Mariana
May 22, 2008 at 9:44 am
Why Do I Read RE Industry Blogs?
… to learn about the market in other areas
… to find new and better ways to run my business
… to make myself feel better (kind of like watching COPS … “Whew! At least I’m not THAT person!”)
… to laugh and be entertained
… to give me ideas on what I can teach other agents
… to broaden my knowledge base so I can effectively answer industry questions by both agents and consumers
Why Do I Comment on RE Industry Blogs?
… to offer my opinion or share my experience within the conversation
Frank Jewett
May 22, 2008 at 10:01 am
There will always be a market for live instruction because very few people will take the additional time to learn by reading and push through obstacles by doing research or calling someone. For me, reading real estate blogs is like collecting pieces to a puzzle. I try to figure out where each message fits in rather than taking them at face value.
Jennifer in Louisville
May 22, 2008 at 2:36 pm
…it keeps me up to speed on the latest news in the real estate industry, and provides me with access to different opinions/perspectives from other parts of the country.
JoshK
May 22, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I’m trying to learn as much about the industry as fast as I can, and instead of sitting down for lunch with a few agents, I can hear from hundreds all at once.
Why do I comment? Well, I like seeing my name on such a famous piece of web-real estate! The link is nice too. And I want to be part of a community of people thinking outside the box.
Matthew Rathbun
May 22, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Frank – great response! I like learning from a variety of sources, including opinions. I find value even in those opinions that I don’t agree with. A lot of folks like interactive classrooms because of their learning styles. Only about 20% of adult learns can retain or learn from personal reading. They need other stimulus to do so. Glad to see you’re in the elite few!
Jennifer – respecting other’s perspectives has been mentioned a lot. I am glad to see that you value others in such a way.
Josh – Learning from others is a great aspect, but sitting down with a producer from your local market who is succeeding could be a great augmentation to your personal growth. I think RE is very local, so getting ideas to implement here and knowing what the local folks are doing will make you a well rounded agent! Great start!
Genuine Chris Johnson
May 22, 2008 at 9:36 pm
See “why do you read”
JoshK
May 23, 2008 at 7:14 am
@Matthew: Actually, I’m a technology developer working on some tools for real estate agents. Not everyone who reads this site is an agent themselves! I can assure you that the usefulness of AG (at least from what I’ve seen so far) is not limited to agents, but to anyone working in sectors related to real estate. Understanding the real problems and concerns that agents face will help me to develop the tool that is most useful for the agents who will use it.
Frank Jewett
May 23, 2008 at 8:08 am
There are three ways to make money in real estate:
1) Help consumers buy and sell homes (broker/agent)
2) Help brokers and agents locate and help consumers (consultant/developer)
3) Take advantage of agents without helping them (guru/shill)
I’m aiming for the second route, though some days I feel like taking the first route. The third route is unthinkable, though we see a cast of thousands who have apparently chosen to take that route.
This is why I tend to be so skeptical of success stories.
Team Benya
May 23, 2008 at 8:38 am
1) Because I have a need to learn everything I can about real estate. I believe that the knowledge I gain helps me build my business immensely
2) Because I like further formulating the things I hear/read on blogs with the authors themselves.
ines
May 23, 2008 at 9:59 am
I’ll answer like my kids would:
……just because!!
(good points above – I like Mariana’s and Jonathan’s)
Rich Jacobson
May 23, 2008 at 1:22 pm
First of all, I am very selective on what goes into my reader. My time is limited, so I want the best of the best. That doesn’t preclude me from the occasional ‘look around’ for something new and interesting.
I want to learn. I need to know what are the latest and most pressing issues face today’s RE professionals. I want to know what works. What’s a waste of time. What’s fun.
There are so many options for us today, places to invest our time and energies. Accessing my reader, coffee in hand, is definitely one of the better ways to spend my time….
oh, and Matt…you’re on my reader 🙂
Athol Kay
May 23, 2008 at 4:23 pm
So I can form friendships with people that never attempt to drop their kids off at my house.
Jeremy Hart
May 23, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I read real estate blogs because I want to learn as much as I can about my industry, and it’s a great way to filter content.
I comment on real estate blogs because of the points. And Lani promised me a Vanilla Ice Fan Club t-shirt. She’s the president, you know. I also comment on real estate blogs because by engaging in the conversation, I often learn even more.
Bill Lublin
May 24, 2008 at 4:35 pm
@Bob – Aw shucks Gee Golly Whiz – I blush modestly 😉
Bill Lublin
May 24, 2008 at 4:37 pm
And now for my answer – Better late then never
I read Blogs because I already know what I know but they let me know what I don’t yet know.
I read Blogs because there are some interesting people out there that know some interesting stuff.
I read Blogs because I believe they will help me do my business better
I read Blogs people I know and respect write them (and some time I know and respect them because I read Blogs)
I read Blogs so I can get to the comments
Sometimes I comment on Blogs because they need to be corrected or refuted or opposed.
Sometimes I comment on Blogs because something resonated in me when I read it
Sometimes I comment on Blogs to get points “Great Post Matthew” 😉
Bill Lublin
May 24, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Athol – BTW I’m dropping my kids off at your house later tonight
Susan
May 25, 2008 at 8:51 pm
so I can keep up with whats going on and new ideas…learn.
Todd Carpenter
May 26, 2008 at 12:34 am
..”OK, so to those who have answered the first question – here is the second; WHY DO YOU COMMENT ON BLOGS?”
Are you suggesting that I’m supposed to READ blogs before commenting on them? 😉
I read them because I want to learn more about Real Estate, and more importantly, learn more about the people who write them.
I comment for the same reason.
Thomas Johnson
June 1, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I only comment on RE blogs when my hair catches on fire.
Stephanie Edwards-Musa
June 23, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Hey Matt,
I read them because:
1) The market in Houston is considerably different than other areas, keeps me informed
2) We always seem to get cool technology last. Keeps me informed. 🙂
3) To read awesome bloggers like you.
4) To Think outside the box
5) Learn how to be better at everything we do
6) Sometimes to read what NOT to do on a blog. 🙂
I comment because I think it is human nature, to want to voice our opinion and be heard…Conversation, and besides, TV sucks now a days. LOL. Just kidding.