Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

The American GeniusThe American Genius


Self Shh! Is Suicidal

Do Not Self Shh! Conversate.

Do you ever feel like you’re working harder than a Lucifer humming bird flaps her wings and your success is as gravity bound as a Chinstrap Penguin? Odds are, you’re a victim of Self-Suicidal Shoushing. If you continue self imposed silence, personal things wilt and eventually die. Things like your spirit, your faith, your bank account and your real estate career.

Worry not. Vibrant success can be created, amplified and Miracle Grown by engaging in daily purposeful personal conversations. Not cyber contact or direct mail contact! Purposeful personal conversations that connect and thicken relationships. Conversations that make others feel significant. Conversations that lead to listing presentation invitations, buyer representations, referrals and recommendations.

Let me ask…

“How many interactive tuned-in, in-person conversations do you have in a day?” defines the word “converse” like this:

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

1. to talk informally with another or others; exchange views, opinions, et., by talking.

2. to maintain a familiar association.

3. familiar discourse or talk; conversation.

So how many people do you converse with in a day? Not Email, direct mail, Twitter, Text or Facebook. I’m talking about personal one-on-one, verbal conversations, in-person or on the phone. How many of those daily conversations include you listening with cat eared intent. Cat eared to crystal clear hear. Intent to listen hard. Intent to connect. Intent to make the other feel significant. Intent to discover what another needs, wants and desires.

Financial success and fun begins and ends with personal contact and rich conversation. If you’re not having rich, on-purpose, in-person conversations (with civilians not colleagues) every day, you’re strangling your success. If your daily conversations are tainted with aimless yammering, me, me, me and yada, yada, yada, you’re poisoning your performance.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Consider This…

Impressive flight begins with personal, interactive contact. Not every form of contact is equal. There are three types of contact:

1. The VERY Best Contact = Face to Face Contact

2. Second Best Contact = Telephonic Voice to Voice Contact

3. The Rest – Email, Video Mail, Text, Twitter, Direct Mail, Facebook, Linkedin, etc.

Contact Leads To Conversation.

When conversation takes place, like bees buzz, possibilities bloom. Magical wonders manifest when two people start talking, especially if one of them is listening with cat eared intent. Email, direct mail, twitter, Facebook and texting are flaccid conversation mediums and fantastic marketing sparks that lead to one-on-one conversation – but alas, they are not a replacement for in-person, one-on-one conversation is everything.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Coversation Leads To Connection.

The more intently we listen, the better questions we ask, the more we understand each other. The more we understand each other the more we appreciate each other. As we discover and appreciate each other, our connections deepen. Our relationships thicken and colorize as we uncover multiple levels of mutual interest and importance.

Connection Leads To Discovery.

As our conversational connection deepens, so does our trust, so does our sharing. We discover anothers dreams, desires, unmet needs, challenges, likes and dislikes. Through personal conversation we discover how we can help, support or serve. The Golden Rule 2.0 is possible. “Treat others at they want to be treated.”

Discovery Leads To Service/Help.

This part is important. When I speak about service and help, I’m not suggesting you focus on listing and selling real estate. Relationships are built on trust, sharing and attraction. The goal is to be the “Go To Gal/Guy” for all things community, family, home, real estate, entertainment, lifestyle. By providing solutions, services, help and recommendations for unmet needs, you become the de-facto “Top Of Mind” real estate agent for them and the referred real estate agent to their friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, relatives, etc.

Specifically, by engaging in one-on-one, in-person conversation, listening intently and being curious engaged, you will discover how you can help and serve. Examples might include, recommendations for youth sports leagues for their kids, a cleaning service, a restaurant recommendation, a house of worship recommendation, the perfect hotel in the city they will vacation in next month, the dry cleaner that doesn’t break buttons, the lawn maintenance crew that shows up, the newly released movie, an interesting blog post on something they care about, a color copy of a relevant article you read in a magazine…..whatever (ummm, keep it legal).

When providing information/service/help you never have to mention real estate, simply deliver it wrapped in your Real Estate Agent wrapper. Example: Email an article, link, etc., your Real Estate Agent email signature is your wrapper. If you mail something, add a couple of business cards, your stationary/logoed envelope is your real estate agent wrapper.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Always follow up your emailed or snail mailed information with a phone call – this phone call begins the Conversation Circle all over again.

I suggest your purpose in this real estate life is to have conversations so you can help people with anything and everything. Do that and you’ll earn your way to everything you want.

Service/Help Leads To Hired or Referred.

The fun part. By helping, serving and supporting you grow a natural bouquet of appreciation, attraction, trust and confidence. You will brain tattoo your Technicolor self in “Top Of Mind Awareness Indelible Ink” into their subconscious. When they or their friends, family, neighbors, co-workers or relatives need information, especially real estate information/service/help, you will be the first person they think of.


In addition to all the mid-term benefits, creating conversational interaction is the premier method for conjuring “Collission Principal” magic. Positioning yourself in the direct path of someone asking you a real estate related question, or shared referral. You see, people are way to busy to pick up the phone and call you, but if you call them, they will gladly ask the question, extend an invitation or refer you to a friend.

The Beginning…

It’s a new year. It’s simple. Have more conversations every day.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Does this make sense?

Will you have more conversations?

How many on purpose per day?

When will you start?

Let me know how it goes? Rock on!

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.


Written By

Ken Brand - Prudential Gary Greene, Realtors. I’ve proudly worn a Realtor tattoo for over 10,957+ days, practicing our craft in San Diego, Austin, Aspen and now, The Woodlands, TX. As a life long learner, I’ve studied, read, written, taught, observed and participated in spectacular face plant failures and giddy inducing triumphs. I invite you to read my blog posts here at Agent Genius and On the lighter side, you can follow my folly on Twitter and Facebook. Of course, you’re always to welcome to take the shortcut and call: 832-797-1779.



  1. Vicki Moore

    January 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    I do – every day but probably not enough. I’m working on it!

  2. Brandie Young

    January 17, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Hi Ken – I think your advice is solid. It’s highly applicable to any service provider. I really keyed in on “purposeful” conversations. Speaking for only myself, sometimes all the tools at my fingertips (email, internet, etc.) can cause me to be a little ADD or make me believe I can multi task. The truth is, if you’re a mile wide, you can only be an inch deep. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. Ken Brand

    January 18, 2009 at 7:34 am

    Vickie – Every day’s a new day. Onward Icons:-) thanks.

    Brandie – Love that, ” A mile wide and an inch deep”. Perfect. I have observed that ADD is a very common trait among top performers in real estate, pointing it pays off. Cheers and thanks.

  4. Carson Coots

    January 22, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    Ken – Inspiring words. I will start to be more thoughtful about my personal contacts. It can be tough when you work from home to get that face to face interaction on a daily basis. I need to utilize my phone more also.

  5. Ken Brand

    January 23, 2009 at 7:20 am

    Thanks Carson, some many things suck our time and attention, it’s all about the people, people, people.
    Rock ON.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


American Genius
news neatly in your inbox

Subscribe to our mailing list for news sent straight to your email inbox.




Business Marketing

We Overestimate… …what we think we know and we underestimate what we don’t know. We think we’re pretty smart.  We move quickly.  We think...

Business Marketing

Good News!  Your Raise Is Effective As Soon As YOU Are. No Brown-Nosing, glass ceilings, boot licking, politics, nepotism, seniority, annual performance reviews or...


Sticks and stones. I’ve been seeing a lot of negative comments on websites lately. Maybe it’s because I’ve been doing a bit more research...


Is Facebook A Toad Or A Prince? Everywhere I go, I hear earfuls of Facebook yadder.  It’s a time suck.  It’s a tool.  It’s...

The American Genius is a strong news voice in the entrepreneur and tech world, offering meaningful, concise insight into emerging technologies, the digital economy, best practices, and a shifting business culture. We refuse to publish fluff, and our readers rely on us for inspiring action. Copyright © 2005-2022, The American Genius, LLC.