Over the weekend a buyer called to see a property. The dance starts…
Can you show it to me now?
Well, ahhh, I’m on my way to my next appointment.
Oh, well, I have all day.
Oh, well, I don’t.
How did you determine that this is a property of interest for you?
I looked on the internet. I have about a dozen sitting in front of me.
Okay. Have you engaged the services of a realtor advocate? (I like that. Realtor advocate.)
Oh, yeah. I have lots of friends who are realtors. (Duh. Wrong answer.)
Perhaps you should call one of your friends to show you the house.
Well, can’t you show it to me?
Let me tell you how I work. I would like to meet with you for an hour or so to find out what your criteria is. I will research the properties available to determine which homes fit your needs. Then I’ll contact you to show you the selected homes for your consideration. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?
No. I just want to see that house. (And the twelve others.)
I suggest you call one of your friends.
Well, I didn’t want to bother them. I was just doing my own research. (Huh?)
How about this one…
Can you show me this house?
How did you find it?
On the internet.
Okay. If you’d like to come into the office, I’d be happy to meet with you briefly to discuss your home buying plans.
No. I just want to see this house. (Stranger danger?)
I see. Have you spoken to a lender about getting pre-approved? You’ll —
I have the money.
Well, you’ll need the documentation to provide to the seller when an offer is written.
My sister will get that for me.
Oh, is your sister a mortgage broker?
Yeah, she’s my realtor too, but she lives far away. (Huh?)
You’ll be writing an offer with your sister, correct?
Then your sister will have to show you the house.
Or this one…
Blah, blah, blah
But my realtor’s on vacation. Can’t you show it to me?
This one falls into this category and the one I haven’t written yet, “What the hell are they teaching in those buy a foreclosure classes?”
Where can I get a blank contract to write on a house?
A blank contract? What are you going to do with a blank contract?
Well, I want to write an offer on a house.
Okay. You want to do it yourself?
Well, the contracts we use are for licensed realtors. I’m not sure where you can get one. What house are you going to write an offer on?
I’m not sure yet.
What do you mean?
Well, I went to this foreclosure class and they told us all we have to do is write the contract and find the house. We write the offer and we’re done. We’re out of it.
That’s not the way foreclosures work in California. You have to have the cash and pay upfront and the county’s auction.
No, that’s not what they said. See, we find the house and write an offer with an assignee as the purchaser. Then we sell it to an investor.
Sell what to an investor?
The house. The contract.
How are you going to find an investor?
They’re out there.
Why would an investor buy from you?
Because I found the house.
How do you get paid?
By the investor.
Well, they said that Allan Michael bought 5 houses at one time. He went to San Francisco and bought them with $100 in his pocket.
I see. Good luck with that.