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Rockin’ and Rollin’ With The MLS

It’s party time at the MLS. We’ve got the Stones, Little Richard and even a rabbit. (No, guys – not a Playboy Bunny.) We also owe the L.A. Times and Homes and Land a bit of thanks for adding to the party mix. Okay, throw your keys in a jar, and let’s rock:

Pre-Show Antics Backstage 

“Bring current for extra sizzle” (Okay, now lick your finger, and then put in in this socket, and now wait while I flip the switch…)

“Large bunaglow” (I don’t even want to know why someone got a match that close to their big a__.)

“Antique Bass fixture stay” (Yeah, once he’s on a tear,  it’s hard to get Ronnie Wood off the tour bus…)

“Great costume closets” (J. Edgar Hoover must be performing live…)

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“This is a real crash cow” (Uh, is this how hamburger is supposed to be made?)

“Must show proof of fun” (How ’bout a joint and a bottle of Jack?)

Homage to Real Estate’s Musical Roots:

“Music room w/ pastor views” (Let me guess  – the Reverend Little Richard?)

“Bach on market” (Why not – he can’t be any stiffer than Keith Richards.)

“Brand new licting” (Presenting  Mick Jagger and Gene Simmons in The Battle of the Tongues.)

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“Top half needs work” (Thanks for the critique, dude – but I’ll bet your bottom half aint no Tommy Lee…)

Post Show Observations

“Everything a buyer could hop for” (Maybe if you have a buyer named Harvey the Rabbit…)

“Has good flour plan” (‘Sounds half-baked…unless you want to buy a mill and loaf all day.)

“Leased for residental use” (Free teeth cleaning upon move-in?)

“Shear cutting edge” (Proudly offered by Edward Scissorhands.)

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Time to Split

“Subject to clear deer” (Call Ms. Palin – they’ll clear out as soon as they hear, “You betcha…NOW FIRE!”)

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Sheila Rasak

    February 4, 2011 at 9:54 am

    These blogs have warped my MLS mind. Upon entering a short sale house the other day I couldn’t help but break into song (in my head) and sing, “If a picture paints a thousands words then why do I think ‘ewwwwwwwwww'”. It was, shall we say, “Bbbbbaaaad to the bone”.

  2. Liz Benitez

    February 4, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    I gave my sister a hard time on FB for a typo the other day and my husband commented “Liz teasing about typos… I’ve truly seen it all. :-)” So I really shouldn’t say anything but I like to think at least when it comes to business I know how to proofread.

  3. MH for Movoto

    February 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    In true Gwen-style, another witty and fabulous post.

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