If you thought the MLS was full of color and confusion, check out these gems from area newspapers and online real estate sites. Is there a glitch in YOUR pitch?
For Those Who Want Only the Best
“Must see this germ to believe it!” (…said the agent with infectious enthusiasm.)
“Five bedrooms great for parties (Offered by The King of Swing)
“New drips in gardenr” (Penicillin will do the killin.”)
“Please remove shoes before woking on carpet.” (A stir-fry buy.)
“Let’s make deal and celibate.” (This must be a nunnery with no funnery.)
“Minimalist design w/ sleek lines. Even your fuzziest buyers will love it.”(Let me guess…a hamster wheel?)
Don’t Count on Multiple Offers…
“Big closet and another area for hanging.” (Presenting the Benedict Arnold Suite. )
“Stable area. Avoid sink hole on Laurel.” (Avoid morons who use oxymorons.)
“Cervical driveway accommodates 4 cars.” (I think there’s a surgery for that.)
“Top of the loin appliances” (Ahhh…so it has built in plumbing?)
“3% commission to selling orfice.” (Well, shut my mouth!)
Isn’t That a Little Personal?
“Pls send mamo with buyers’ names.” (Sure, we’ll keep you abreast.)
“Bridal cottage of silenced film star.” (Better wed than dead.)
“Relax on veranda while son drops behind Mt. Baldy.” (At least there will be one less mouth to feed.)
“Qualifications checkerd” (Whose – yours or theirs?)
And We Love Agents With a Sense of Humor
“Safe is empty so tell buyers not to get any ideas.”
“Only 650 sq’ but nice if you’re small”
And My Absolute Fave:
“Near famous re-hab, just in case escrow drives you to drink.”
