People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Jeff Bernheisel
March 27, 2011 at 11:59 pm
Yeah, everything was going pretty good until that last line… they definitely could have left that out.
Lani Rosales
March 28, 2011 at 1:29 pm
I totally agree.
LesleyLambert
March 28, 2011 at 12:13 am
Outside of the lying bit…I love it. I want to create new tour vids with mass appeal and creativity not predictability. thinking, thinking, thinking…
Lani Rosales
March 28, 2011 at 1:06 pm
You got the point! I’m mostly enchanted by the cinematic effect the producers use in all of their videos. Love them and wish they were in America!
Andrew McKay
March 28, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Interesting that people object to the last line. I think that has to do with the US sense of humour ( not good or bad just different.) As a Brit I found it funny, a self depreciating dig at Realtors. I’m sure the Aussies would find it funny and actually attractive that a Real Estate video doesn’t take it’s own industry too seriously and can laugh at it’s own reputation.
I quite often us the phrase ” Trust me I’m a Realtor” in posts, updates etc.
I love these videos and just need to take the step and jazz up the virtual tour to this level. Production will be a problem; maybe a Blairwitch Product type of filming although not the content.
Lani Rosales
March 28, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Andrew, that’s good to know that maybe it’s an American humor (or lack thereof) issue.
On a sidenote, I don’t want you to Blairwitch your tours up, maybe just budget for a platinumhd.tv type production company in 2012? 🙂
Andrew McKay
March 28, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Not lack of humour just different. Same here in Canada as I asked for models for my next video on Facebook with a link to number 2 video ( I know, not sure I should say that after you (excellent) post on sexism; there’s no male equivalent of misogynist I don’t think and that says a lot.) Some didn’t realise I was joking.
Actually rather than a home tour I may spend on a film of the town. Only so much real estate you can blog about so I’m mainly posting about the locality now; hyper local as they say. Now a tour of the town, beach etc wouldn’t be time sensitive like a listing.
Apologies for hijacking the post a bit with my virtual thinking out loud.
Andrew McKay
March 29, 2011 at 7:09 am
Lani
These were posted by a fellow Real Estate Tomato to highlight his town. The first one is quite straightforward, touristy and conservative but if I was to through in a few clips of residential areas????What do you think?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXndihLNCk4&feature=player_embedded
The 2nd one more innovative??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unQz4kFJ2Tg