There is no hope in sight when it comes to typos on the MLS, folks. Siri is my new best friend, as “her” errors in dictation on iPhones has provided a slew of hysterical gaffes for me to share with you. Thanks to Jane Peters for the whopper of the week!
Nurse, Bring in the Life Support Equipment!
“New gavel in drive” (Thank you, Judge Judy.)
“Buried carle” (Oh my, did he die suddenly?)
“Must call for Ele hookup” (Whispered Heidi Fleiss to Eliot Spitzer in the produce aisle at Von’s.)
“Gym w/ pilots equipment included” (Methinks you’re flying high, my friend.)
“Road not suitable for tucks” (That’s bad news for hemorrhoids.)
Wouldn’t It Be More Humane To Pull The Plug?
“Open house & Mexivcan shread canceled” (Thank God – I thought the Conquistadores were back!)
“Dive for privates use” ( Sign in a bathroom in Compton.)
“Election speckle” (Yeah – we’re all trying to connect the dots…)
“Bookers ope Tues” (I’ll put a hundred bucks on Lame Agent in the fifth.)
Is There any Sign of Intelligent Life?
“Only smell dogs alowed” (Is this an ad for Bloodhounds on Broadway, or are you just kinky?)
“Many booming trees” (Explained the activist when asked by police how the chain saw “fell” down the pants of the lumberjack.)
“Baboons for the kids” (Apparently one hijacked your keyboard.)
Flatline…
“Designed with great teats” (Tommy’s Lee’s answer when asked what he misses most about ex-wife, Pamela Anderson.)
“See my log for details.” (Tommy’s Lee’s answer when asked to elaborate.)
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.
