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“Nice butt needs work” – Falling behind with the MLS

Ugly butt sign

What a week for bloopers! I know agents are worn out this time of year, but we all need to hit the spell check button or we may go down in infamy. Witness these blooper classics, friends:

Falling Behind?

“Nice butt needs work” (My ex said that just before his butt hit the curb.)

“Reel Estate Experts” (Oh yeah? Have you met my client, Moby Dick?)

“Bank needs alms length agreement” (I’ll expect alms from a bank the day Amelia Earhart crash lands on my patio.)

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“Need roof export”  (Call  Auntie Em-n-Toto House “Sails.”)

“Hollywood Real Estale Listings” (Are they as stale as your dwindling career?)

Picking up the Rear?

“Will do irrigation and flushing” (Offered by Colonic Experts R Us.)

“New Sparkle Arrested” (Poor Sparkle – he’s that guy in the red stilettos who hustles on Sunset, right?)

“Thirty day closet” (Sparkle’s term at L.A. County Lockup, I presume?)

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“New fliters” (Sparkle,  it seems you have some competition…)

“MUST use packing lot across street” (…Said Paulie “Walnuts, while pointing his chain saw toward Satriales Pork Store.)

From One Bum to Another

“Ideal for live/wok” (I’d prefer to live in a deep fryer full of donuts, thank you.)

“No shuwings until open” (Good to know, Ed Sullivan.)

“Many privat school in neihborhood” (Have you considered enrolling?)

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“Content included” (Let’s see how content you are when you pay that first mortgage payment…)

A Rough Ending…

“Ass for Margie” (That must be the inscription on your wife’s wedding band.)

“Call for your root removal” (Ouch – Lorena Bobbit is back in business!)

That’s it for this week. Spell to sell, folks!

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. EasyStreet Realty

    November 23, 2011 at 10:45 am

    These are great. We have a property description keyword search on our site. I am going to try and find some of these types of bloopers in our local MLS. Thanks for the laugh!

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