“Scalped ceilings” and other MLS hair-raisers

Wait until you see the characters who showed up this week on the MLS…well, at least tangentially. It was a great week for laughs, and many were provided by Jane Peters,  Jan Pastras, and Patrick Martin, all from right here in sunny L.A. Thanks to you all for helping me be virulent. Uh, I mean vigilant:

Neither ‘Hair” nor There

“Nice scalped ceilings” (Designed by Tonto Interiors)

“Larder than others in the area”  ( Roseanne Barr must be selling her house.)

“Fellow directions” (Since when do fellows ask for directions?)

‘I’ll work garder for you” (Thank you,  Blaze Starr.)

“Horse property w/ room for stills” (Uncle Paddy, get off your bar stool – I found the house of your dreams!)

You Say Potato, I Say Kato

“Drop by for coattail hour” (Hosted by coattail experts Larry Fortensky, Kato Kaelin and Kevin Federline.)

“Needs work but not a teard” (Don’t cry for me Argentina.)

“Nice home. Show cokd.” (That’s fairly obvious, Ms. McSnorty.)

“”Manure foliage” (Sh_t for brains agent)

“Gas ready” (Just like Uncle Paddy…)

Quaked and Half-Baked

“So sorry – no seismic ins” (This must be on the Not My Fault Line.)

“New fence gaye” (A fence with a lisp?)

“Famedia room” (Is this a room or an STD?)

“Master now don” (I’ll call him “The Donald,” but there’s no way I’ll call him “master”!

My Fave’ Rave

“Sellr movng away –  not going to fix anyting, not repairs, not pest, not cracks, not nothimng.” (Buyer walking away – not going  to offer a dollar, not a dime, not a farthing…not nothimng, nit-wit!)