Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

The American GeniusThe American Genius

Business News

Verizon’s conditions for Yahoo acquisition: Ditch CEO, change the name

(BUSINESS NEWS) Thus far, Yahoo has done a remarkable job of digging its own grave and lying down in it. In the latest string of things Yahoo can’t get right, though, we have a surprising entry: its own death.

yahoo

The plan

Yahoo’s supposed to sell to Verizon and then disappear south of the border (figuratively, guys) – but after all that’s happened, will Verizon even give Yahoo the time of day?

bar

Pulling a fast one

It’s no secret that despite shattering the glass ceiling, CEO, Marissa Mayer, is nobody’s favorite person right now.

Shocker, then, that what’s left of Yahoo after the Verizon takeover goes through (assuming it does) wants nothing to do with her or her name brand.

The CEO has enough bad press without even bringing up the hacking, so she’ll more than likely get the ax after the acquisition.

Meanwhile, the holding company side of Yahoo will go on to change its name to Altaba Inc, effectively shedding every association with the failing Yahoo once and for all. Sound like “Alibaba” to you? That’s because they own a 15 percent stake of Yahoo and operate Yahoo’s Japanese business, so it is suspected to be a play on an extremely popular brand name overseas.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

That’s all well and good, but what if Verizon decides not to bite?

Friendly reminder

Verizon losing interest in the once-appealing Yahoo isn’t such a far-fetched notion. For those of you who have forgotten the contents of the company’s rap sheet, here’s a refresher course:

  • Yahoo was hacked once in 2013, to the effect of an estimated one billion compromised accounts.
  • Yahoo did not inform users of the above attack until a month ago (over three years later).
  • This happened AFTER they were forced to disclose information about a comparatively small attack in 2014 (a paltry 500 million user accounts affected—nothing to write home about, as Yahoo clearly thought) around three months ago.

So, while one can hardly blame Verizon for keeping Yahoo at arm’s length while they wait for a more conclusive evaluation of the security breaches, the subsequent political no-man’s-land is a logistical nightmare for the folks at Yahoo who just want to cut their losses move on. To think that Verizon might just ice the whole deal (or at the very least demand a hefty discount) isn’t far from the realm of feasibility.

They can’t even die correctly

[clickToTweet tweet=”Yahoo’s basically hoping to pull off the corporate equivalent of plastic surgery and a new passport.” quote=”Yahoo’s basically hoping to pull off the corporate equivalent of plastic surgery and a new passport.”]

Until such a time as Verizon absconds with Yahoo’s proverbial dirty laundry, however, the second-rate email service is condemned to wear the same tacky purple robes of defeat that have plagued its shoulders since day one.

Yahoo, it seems, just won’t die like it’s supposed to.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

#Altaba

Jack Lloyd has a BA in Creative Writing from Forest Grove's Pacific University; he spends his writing days using his degree to pursue semicolons, freelance writing and editing, oxford commas, and enough coffee to kill a bear. His infatuation with rain is matched only by his dry sense of humor.

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Pingback: Verizon's Oath will be the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard - The American Genius

  2. Pingback: Yahoo retargeting attempt feels like a cry for attention

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Advertisement

The
American Genius
news neatly in your inbox

Subscribe to our mailing list for news sent straight to your email inbox.

Advertisement

KEEP READING!

Business Entrepreneur

(ENTREPRENEUR) One of the biggest predictors of a smooth and successful sale of a business is when the company owner takes on an active...

Business News

(BUSINESS NEWS) With the younger generation moving away from fast fashion, it makes sense that Etsy has acquired one of the most popular Gen...

Social Media

(SOCIAL MEDIA) This $1 billion dollar acquisition of a CRM shows Facebook diving into the back end of social media for the first time.

Tech News

(TECH NEWS) After over a year-long process, Yahoo is finally shutting down Yahoo Groups for good, marking the end of an internet era.

The American Genius is a strong news voice in the entrepreneur and tech world, offering meaningful, concise insight into emerging technologies, the digital economy, best practices, and a shifting business culture. We refuse to publish fluff, and our readers rely on us for inspiring action. Copyright © 2005-2022, The American Genius, LLC.