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Bic rooms: accidentally setting your marketing copy on fire

November 15, 2012

bic lighters
I think we are in an end-of year slump, folks. The number of MLS Bloopers and real estate advertising gaffes were plentiful this week. Perhaps it would behoove us all to polish off that pitcher of martinis after we upload our listings. But then, where’s the fun in that? Please enjoy:

First Round – Lay ’em Down

“Crack in sew line” (White powder on agent’s nose…)

“Bic rooms” (That’s convenient if I need to light my bong.)

“Near Edwards Air Forse vase” (I hear those pilots have great stems.)

“Zoned for tail” (Is this the Mustang Ranch or are you just horny?)

Second Round, Pound It Down

“Large son room off the kitchen” (Fat kid needs Jenny Craig in the kitchen!)

“No shoe during nap” (Yeah, the shoestrings might get caught in your ankle monitor.)

“Chafes kitchen” (Apparently someone has been rubbing up against the cook.)

“Cow pastor” (I suspect they all milk their sermons and cut the cheese in the pulpit.)

Third Round, One Man Down

“View of mountain rum” (Face down in the still again, rube?)

“Drawing for tickets to Book of Norman” (Norman Schwarzkopf ,  Norman Bates, or Nor-man-should-be-this-stupid? )

“One lame road”  (One lame agent.)

“Hollywood – duplex and single for extra rant” (CA taxes will certainly give the buyer reason to do so.)

“New siding on font” (Oh yay – just in time for the buyers’ baptism…)

Last Call, Free-For-All

“Ready for moon in” (Pull your pants up, Bubba, or shave that monster.)

“Shed and tool included” (No thanks – I already divorced a tool.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell.

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.


  1. Made my Friday!  Thanks Gwen!
    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

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