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Opinion Editorials

“Branch served” – barking up the wrong tree with your real estate listings


It seems many agents just don’t understand that spelling is part of selling. Last week’s MLS and the local real estate ads provided definite proof that some agents can barely manage an alphabet, even if it’s in their soup. Come on, folks – is it really that hard to use spell-check or to get someone to proof-read your work? (No, your dog doesn’t count.) Here’s what the Blooper Scooper picked up this week:

Why Apples Voluntarily Jump Off  Trees

“Branch served” (If it fell from your family tree, that would explain a lot…) 

“Some tails need to be finish” (Methinks the head is missing something, too…)

“SEW exposure” (Let me guess –  don’t know whether you’re coming or going?)

“Views of mounties” (If you can see Mounties in Hollywood, you’ve had one tab too many, Sunshine.)

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“Strained glass” (That’s a nice feature if I ever want to chew on a window…)

“Nice house, extra plot available” (For when the mortgage payment finally kills you…)

Enough Horsing Around!

“Leave mane on signup” (Uh, excuse me, Mr. Ed, but it seems your hoof is in your mouth.)

“You’ll love master” (Who’s your daddy?)

“This is hood home” (Pimpin’ da crib, homey?) 

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“Seller pricks” (The buyers probably aren’t much better…)

“Ask about seller curry” (Let me get this straight – does the seller make curry…or is the seller in the curry?

“Nifty rack” (Said Kid Rock to Pamela Anderson)

“Nice Hollywood lift” (I believe that’s called breast augmentation, you big boob.)

And My Fave:

“Eunique design”  (Got nuts?)

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That’s it for the week – spell and sell, my friends.

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Liz Benitez

    August 5, 2011 at 11:43 am

    I have to say I would be in big trouble if I didn't have/use spell check.

  2. Gwen Banta

    August 5, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Liz, we ALL would!

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