“Call me SAP” – idiots among us (the MLS)

I propose that Realtors be asked to take a spelling test if they plan to write their own listing remarks. Kids in school have to pass spelling tests, so why shouldn’t we? However, I must admit that’s a tall order. When I think of how many agents actually pronounce “Realtor” as “Real-a-tor,” I shudder to think of the spelling outcome. Is there such a thing as Death By Spelling? You decide:

I.Q. Alert: Missing ‘I’ !

“Will go fast. Call me SAP.” (Why not…I’m sure all your friends do.)

“Can be expansted” (Too bad your brain can’t.)

“Tasty décor” (Brought to you by the makers of edible panties.)

“Handmaid bar” (I’ve heard those vixens really like to get toasted.)

And Then There’s Stan…

“Stanless kitchen” (That’s because Stan was caught in the neighbor’s bedroom.)

“Good semented driveway”  (Let me guess – Stan again?)

“Some stan on carpet” (Methinks Stan needs sex rehab.) 

“Dick space on top of garage” (Don’t tell me, tell Stan!)

You Know When Your Days Are Numbered                                                                                                                                                      

“You can’t louse with this” (Offered by Spice-o-Lice Realty)

 “Nice antique laps” (That’s what  horny Uncle Paddy says about his rest home.)

“Settlement in back of house” (What is this – a Pilgrim alert?)

“Beutiful boogervilla tree” (An homage to Pancho Villa’s snot problem?)

“Need truss advisery” (Ok. I’d advise you to put the truss on your hernia – it’s that lump that’s bigger than your brain.)

Kiss Your Petute Good-Bye

“Unpermanent space” (Kind of like your office chair?)

“Cezherstoned counters” (…Not nearly as stoned as you are!)

That’s it for this week, friends. Spell well and Sell well!