Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Michael Wurzer
June 16, 2010 at 5:58 am
Lani, the cat’s out of the bag, neither NAR nor anyone else can get a US trademark over the accronym MLS today, because the term has become generic. It’s simply too late. More interesting, however, is the issue of domain names, and there is an effort underway to obtain the .mls top-level domain for MLS organizations. See https://www.mlsdomains.org/.
Benn Rosales
June 16, 2010 at 10:04 am
I’m with Michael on this one, stuffing this one back in the bag is both too late and a waste of time and resources.
Eric Hempler
June 16, 2010 at 10:48 am
I remember when I first looked up MLS and Major League Soccer (MLS) came up. Does that mean they have to change the name of the league of MLS becomes trademarked?
Ruthmarie Hicks
June 16, 2010 at 10:55 am
I’m not so sure that that’s the case. I can’t use MLS on my IDX – why should aggregators have the privilege? Information is power and frankly I don’t get how the MLS information is NOT proprietary. Stuffing it back in the bag may be necessary for the survival of the industry. I do not buy into the notion that “information longs to be ‘free’ and will find a way to be so.” I worked in a field where proprietary information was the norm and you had to get PERMISSION to utilize or have access to it. It represented the work of others – and thus no matter how much the information longed to be “free” it belonged to someone. …plain and simple.
Lani Rosales
June 16, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Comments from facebook.com/agentgenius where we asked, “So “REALTOR” is trademarked, but some are arguing that “MLS” should be as well and say that websites using the acronym “MLS” are damaging the industry by causing confusion. What do YOU think?”
Ron Foo Chun: I agree MLS should be trademarked. It’s a brand and the confusing sites using it only dilutes and confuses the public.
Laura Nelson Brown: I agree. It is misleading to have names like MLS Realty, etc.
Daniel Bates: I agree that it’s a brand, but I don’t know that anything these other companies are anything worse than what Homes.com has contorted it into. I don’t think it really matters, The MLS lose all value as soon as one of the big brokerages pulls out. The NAR simply is not providing any value for all the dues it’s reaping in and there’s no compelling argument to keep a company like Homes.com in charge of all the data when google, trulia, and zillow are making better technological bounds.
Fred Romano: I don’t agree. Mls is just an acronym for multiple listing service which are generic terms. Any system that has “multiple” listings can be considered an mls. This includes fsbo sites and independent websites that allow listings to be posted.
Andy Nazaroff: MLS is not owned by NAR & this battle was already fought and lost. However, certain local MLS’ have been able to get websites to take down their version of “localcity”mls.com
Eric Hempler: What happens to Major League Soccer (MLS) do they loose [sic] their initials?
Century 21
June 16, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Does aggregators’ use of the term “MLS” damage the industry? https://bit.ly/b3ndq1 (@agentgenius)
Mark Jacobs
June 16, 2010 at 6:29 pm
If we can’t use it then why should aggregators have the privilege?
Soccer West
June 16, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Does aggregators' use of the term “MLS” damage the industry?: Because the term “MLS” (Multiple Listing Service) is… https://bit.ly/9usBSn
Shea Bunch
June 17, 2010 at 12:06 am
I agree that if agents are not allowed to use the term MLS then the aggregators should not as well, but as several others have already commented, this battle has already been lost.
SoccerPhD
June 17, 2010 at 2:39 am
Does aggregators' use of the term “MLS” damage the industry? https://bit.ly/bAWDWU
Tom Lyons
June 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Does aggregators’ use of the term “MLS” damage the industry? – Is the boat about to rock?
A recent survey by … https://tinyurl.com/29q4y82
Lucus
June 21, 2010 at 11:02 am
I remember NAR trying to stop people from using MLS in their domain names. What a joke. They tried to get me to pull one of me sites, using their standard cease and desist orders. I told the to stuff it. The domain is still up today.
I can’t wait until realtor becomes public domain like kleenex, etc.
JWL Consulting
July 13, 2010 at 1:27 am
"Does aggregators’ use of the term “MLS” damage the industry?" ( https://bit.ly/bsemeb ). The solution is DotMLS.
Judith Lindenau
July 13, 2010 at 2:20 am
RT @JWLConsulting: "Does aggregators’ use of the term “MLS” damage the industry?" ( https://bit.ly/bsemeb ). The solution is DotMLS.