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Spam for the Soul




I received this e-mail yesterday and it made me laugh so hard I had to share it with you (you know I don’t do selfish).  No commentary necessary, just read, and enjoy (I’ve removed  the name of the sender to protect the not so innocent and made some parts BOLD just to stress humor).

I was doing some “homework” online and one of your active listings caught my attention and I stopped my search to write you this email.

There’s something about your listings that tells me you’re not like the rest of the agents out there. Most of the other agents I’ve searched give me uneasy feeling on how they handle business.

There’s something that tells me you’re someone people trust.

I’m not trying to stroke your ego here, just doing my job and giving credit where credit is due.

I spend a lot of time scouring sites like, KW, and RE/MAX for agents doing note worthy things as part of a research project that’s working to solve the #1 problem agents face, “generation closable leads”.

From what I’ve just seen you’ve got it down better than most, and wanted to share that insight with you, so keep it up, but if I may make one small critique based off my knowledge of other successful agents…

I’d increase your online social media presence, it really only takes 20-30 mins a day more to boost it through channels like Twitter, FaceBook, Blogging.

There’s a burgeoning group of Realtors using this stuff to pull ahead as most other agents are letting the economy drag them down.

40 year old agent like (name removed), GRI, whose the 2009 President of the (name removed) Assn, of Realtors is closing a deal a week from almost all from “cost-less” word of mouth and social media marketing.

Since you seem open to new ideas, I’ll share with you a few great resources and people I trust to learn from this stuff from like MyTechOpinion, ActiveRain, and

Actually here’s the link to a fantastic f-r-e-e eBook/report which let’s you bypass the frustration others agents go through when tackling this subject.

This should get you rolling.

(link removed)
Well I’m glad I stumbled upon your listing, glad I got the chance to share these thoughts with you and hope you find my comments and suggestions helpful.

I have to get going, back to the task at hand, keep up the good work!


Ines is all Miami, all the time. A Miami Beach Realtor® with Majestic properties, Ines authors,, and and is always on communication's leading edge. She goes out of her way to engage and be engaged, often using Mojitos to keep the mood light and give everything she does a Miami flavor. You can find her goofing off or instigating trouble at Twitter, Flickr, Facebook or LinkedIn.

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  1. Mariana

    July 15, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    Why did you leave out the link? I need help!!

    Good thing they researched YOU before spamming that. LOLOL!

  2. Derec Shuler (@dereshuler)

    July 15, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    Ines, you obviously need to be writing be MyTechOpinion then! But good listing description.

  3. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    July 15, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    LOL Mariana! yes you do! 😀

    Derec – out of everything that could have been mentioned – funny that it’s MyTechOpinion, Active Rain and GoodMorningRealEstate – people that I truly respect and admire

  4. Brandie Young

    July 15, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Social media? Yes, Ines, you should give that a try!

  5. Chris

    July 15, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    Ines, I’m only about an hour and a half away if you need private tutoring to salvage your online presence I am willing to drive over[for a mojito]. 🙂

    I’m always amazed at the people that call to “get me to the top of google”. I usually ask, “Mind telling me where you found me?”

  6. Ben Goheen

    July 15, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    What is this social media thing they speak of? We should all really look into it – sounds profitable.

  7. Tim McDonald

    July 16, 2009 at 12:32 am

    I know when I did my homework, that I could trust you! Definitely not stroking you, but even though you may be better than most and still be able to learn more (like all of us), I’d love to know what this “free” ebook is all about. (lmao) I hope it’s how to make the best mojito. You rock!

  8. Brad Coy

    July 16, 2009 at 4:09 am

    This begs for the two word reply of ” Thanks, @ines ” Make sure you link your twitter name 🙂

  9. teresa boardman

    July 16, 2009 at 6:33 am

    Social media? never heard of it

  10. Ian Greenleigh

    July 16, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    They deserve no anonymity. False personalization is the worst! This reminds me of how employees at Google routinely receive spam telling them that the sender can get them to the top of “sites like Google and Yahoo.” Thanks for sharing this!

  11. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    July 16, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    How about

    There’s a burgeoning group of Realtors using this stuff

    … fave 😀

  12. Joe Loomer

    July 16, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    Wow, I really don’t think this Facebook thing will catch on at ALL.

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  13. Missy Caulk

    July 17, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Bravo for you taking the time to read it. I usually just delete.

  14. Derek Overbey

    July 17, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    I bet he has some swamp land in Florida he thinks you might be interested in. We should invite his to a REBarCamp so he can tell everyone about social media, whatever that is.

  15. Jeff Turner

    July 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    THAT is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. 🙂

  16. Susie Blackmon

    July 19, 2009 at 8:52 am

    Are you on Twitter yet? 😉

  17. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    July 19, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Twitter? is that some sort of game? or one of those useless social media tools that are a total waste of time? 😀

  18. Chris

    July 19, 2009 at 10:10 am

    That tweeter thing is a waste of time.

  19. Jay Thompson

    July 20, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Apparently this guy isn’t aware that all this blogging / social media / internet stuff is just a passing fad.

  20. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    July 20, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    I should email her this link – the comments are priceless….but then again, cynicism may be misunderstood

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Business Marketing

“House on coroner” and other deadly marketing typos

Realtors that don’t proof read their property descriptions in the MLS inevitably end up in the hall of shame here at AGBeat. We hand pick these bloopers in hope that you will be inspired to check yourself before you go and wreck yourself.



identity theft

marketing typos
Hi Friends – it’s blooper day, and I found some hilarious gaffes on the MLS this week. I think I finally figured out why we consistently see such errors – agents are letting their pets write their listing remarks.  On the other hand, I suspect that my dog can spell better than some of these culprits, so I may be casting unfair aspersions. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for the Blooper of the Week (she hit the mother lode with that one).

Is There A Pulse?

“2 beds uhg” (Me Tarzan, you dummy.)

“Big barths” (Yeah, that usually accompanies a bad hangover…)

“No balls after 9 pm” (My ex had the same problem.)

“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)

“Sorry – already bought” (Sign taped to back of seats in the House Chamber.)

Can You Detect A Heartbeat?

“Stay toned for open house schedule” (Man, L.A. sure is a tough market!)

“View from top of hell” (Graffiti on the wall in the Oval office john. )

“Just needs lifts” (…said Tom Cruise’s agent to his producer.)

“Pool chub” (Caption under a photo of me in my bathing suit at the office BBQ.)

“House on coroner” (How convenient – he’s already there to pronounce himself dead.)

Pull The Plug

“Coop for sale” (Oh, is Foster Farms going out of business?)

“Drop in sot” (I see you’ve met the guys who play poker with Uncle Paddy.)

“Coy fish in big pond” (Where are the gregarious fish – in the kegger pond?)

“Big water fault in back” (That’s called a tsunami, and if I were you, I’d run like hell!)

Last Rites

“Bright, Quite garden condo. like home 3bads and 2 full bath, fire place3 tend-om parking, incloding refrigcrater” (Take the fork out of the socket and then remove your aluminum foil hat, because your hair is on fire…as is your career.)

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Business Marketing

“Breakfast hook” – More MLS hoots and hang-ups



Hope is Crap Spelled Backwards

Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!

For Those With Hang-Ups

“Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw – hook ’em, book ’em and cook ’em!)

“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)

“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or the gym?)

“Brig bonus by New Year’s day” (Yay – a prison party – at last I’ll find a date!)

“Pets wilcome” (Ahhh, a veternarian’s Field of Dreams.)

From Those Who Should Be Hanged

“Christmas crab bag” (I think there’s an ointment for that.)

“Big troy drive” (Big Troy talk like Neanderthal.)

“Nice entertainment arena” (Proudly offered by Ringling Brothers Realty.)

“Fully rehabilitated upper level” (Let me guess – “Twelve Steps” to get there?)

“Breakfat room” (Lapband, anyone?)

“Come to holiday patty” (This is Hollywood, pal – if you pay Patty, she’ll come to you.)

“Enjoy the egg nod” (That explains how your head slammed into the keyboard.)

Can You Hang Somebody Twice?

“Celebrity hose” (Who did they belong to – J. Edgar Hoover?)

“You’ll like dip in pool” (I will if he’s cute and buys me dinner…)

“Ned addition” (Is Ned the dip floating in the pool?)

“Hug play area”  (Ned again?)

“Please ignore big hole in yard” (Should I also ignore the casket with the dead flowers?)

And The 2011 Dufis Award Goes To…

“Buyers will flock like bees to hiney” (Okay, let me first stop laughing long enough to pen a smart-mouth comment. …Oh hell, I can’t….this is killing me…seriously, this has me on the floor, folks.  Okay, let’s try again: “Buyers will flock like bees to hiney.” I’m sorry, I just can’t top that one other than to say:

 “They must  know an ass when they see one!” 

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Business Marketing

“House has spark” – burning up the MLS with typos and other bloopers



The year is starting a march toward its natural ending, friends…and it seems a few real estate careers may be also. This week I found some real head-scratchers in local real estate ads and the MLS.  However, I get submissions from all over the U.S., so no one is safe from the eyes of  the Blooper Scooper. Check out these blunders:

Do You Smell Smoke?

“House has spark” (Apparently your real estate career isn’t the only thing going up in smoke.)

“Big pep area in kitchen” (Is that the cookie jar where Mommy Dearest stashes her uppers?) 

“Dull Viking ovens” (Methinks there’s something in the cookie jar that will perk up those dull Vikings.)

“Large greenhose in back” (Large, naked Jolly Green Giant in yard.)

“Mush added to this house” (Was that the overflow from between your ears?)

I Think I See Flames

“Beautifully remolded guest” (Another cosmetically-altered Barbie hits the Hollywood party circuit.)

“Enjoy a drink poolslide” ( Hell, if the pool is sliding, I’ll need a whole pint of Jack.)

“Each bedroom has own bedrooom” (Hello-o-o, Alice, how are things down there in the rabbit hole?)

“Separate pod to build GH” (That should please my pea-sized buyers.)

“Play room for the kiss” (Something tells me this is the back seat of a ’67 Chevy.)

Still Smoldering…

“Ideal for gusts” (That’s great…if you want to live in a wind sock.)

“Impaccably detailed” (Incredibly challenged)

“Stylish pewder room” (Try burning a match.)

“Stone pillars flake driveway” (Flakey agent got stoned in driveway.)

Nothing But Embers (This Week’s Fave):

“From a bygone error” (You have just written your own epitaph.)



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