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“Harry – won’t last”…will your real estate career? MLS humor

OMG, this week’s selection of gaffs from the local real estate ads and the MLS created leaks in my personal plumbing system! I nearly became a “Closet Wizar” (see reference below). Thanks to Kim McMahon for her hysterical contribution from Skokie, Illinois. Wait until you see the selection of whoppers below. Harry may last longer than the prospects for some of these loons:

Killer deals

“Appliances being de livered” (By whom – Hannibal Lecter?)

“Harry – won’t last!” (Methinks Harry is about to be de-livered by Hannibal Lecter.)

“Best price per spare foot” (I’m sure Lector would be happy to remove that sucker for you.)

“This is a kikker deal!” (Obviously this  is listed by the guy with the spare foot.)

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“Closets by Closet Wizar” (That’s one way to make a bad aim profitable!)

International Flavor

“Highly polish floors” (What are they made of – kielbasa?)

“Separate wong for nanny” (Offered by SumTing-Long-Gone-Wong)

“State-of-art coffee bra” (Let me guess…lots of latte?)

“This must buy has pizzazza” (Thank you, Tony “Two-Fingers” Tartaglia…now put down that chain saw.)

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“Viking with worming ovens” (Isn’t medication a little easier on the colon?)

State of Absurd

“Views of the claming canyon” (Um, can clams ride the metro, or did I sleep through a tidal wave?)

“Brused nickel fixtures” (Buck up, Nickel – your boss,  the dollar, isn’t faring any better…)

“Newly refurnisured” (Must be a sofa with a deductible…)

“Bedroom w/ gorgeous muriel over bed” (Hey, buddy – the guys in my office want her phone number.)

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And This Week’s Fruit Loop Special From a Real Estate Want Ad (Thanks, Kim):

Requirements: “…A combination of education and experience from which comparable kills may be acquired” (Apply now to Jugular Real Estate, Inc.)

Happy Holidays, Friends!

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Agent for Movoto

    December 17, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    LOL. another fantastic installment.

  2. Rich Gaasenbeek

    December 18, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    I just love these, Gwen! One of the few things that truly makes me LOL. Thanks for brightening my day, and keep ’em comin’!!!

  3. Lani Rosales

    December 18, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    “claming canyon”??? ohmyfrickingawd, that is hilarious!

    keep it up, gwen, this is one of the highlights of our week!! 🙂

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