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Fear Amputates Opportunity. Here’s A Way To Embrace and Tame It.

Fear Amputates OpportunityIf You’re Human…

Needles of fear prick your skin, inside-out. Salty beads bubble up and bloom. Two perked ears hear a thumping heart.  A pie-hole, normally wet, goes desert dry.  Breathing quickens.  Imagination, formerly confident, runs rogue, bad things loom dark and certain.

Fear robs your future, if you let it.

What Do We All Fear?

  1. Rejection.
  2. Looking lame, inexperienced and unworthy.
  3. Saying the wrong thing, awkward interaction.
  4. Disapproval.
  5. Opportunity amputation.
  6. Not knowing what to do or when to do it.
  7. Not knowing the answer, looking stupid, ignorant and out of touch.
  8. Success.
  9. Failure.
  10. ______________________________

Fear-feelings are normal.  If we allow our fear-feelings to paralyze us, they’ll rob us of our future.

What Actions Activate Fear?

  • Making the prospecting calls you know you should.
  • Asking hard, important questions.
  • Fast follow-up.
  • Pre-qualifying for ability, motivation and time-frame.
  • Embracing, learning and sharing new methods and tools and mindsets.
  • Saying NO.
  • Scheduling personal time.
  • Maintaining boundaries.
  • Speaking your mind.
  • _________________________

Any of the above may incite a riot of fearful-feelings.  Oddly paradoxical, fear is good. Fear is good because it signals we’re about to leave our comfort zone.  Fear is a barrier.  The average and ordinary allow their fears to paralyze their progress. How we face our fears is the difference between a pretender and a contender, a contender and a champion.  We must make friends with fear. Or at the very least, we need to feel the fear and act anyway.

Humor me a bit further and let me share a Car Crash story with you.

What To Do When We Feel Fearful?  Act Like Danica Patrick races.

Do you drive?  Through your windshield and down the road, have you witnessed cars crashing? In the flesh or on TV, have you ever seen race cars crash in a explosive spectacle of angry flame, twisted metal and car part shrapnel?

When rolling-up on a fresh car crash, civilians react intuitively, professional race car drivers are taught to respond counter intuitively.

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Generally, we respond to fear like civilians respond to a car crash.  Here’s what I mean.  When we’re driving down the road and we see cars crash in front of us, intuitively we slow down and cautiously steer our away around the accident.

Professional race car drivers are taught to react counter intuitively.  At 187 mph, race cars  careen around the track within inches of each other.  When cars collide, crash shrapnel explodes in every direction.  Race cars drivers are taught to react counter intuitively when they see a crash.  They are taught to hold a steady speed or accelerate, and steer their car directly into the center-point of car crash.  Why?  Because at 187 mph, if they slow, they’ll get run over, causing a horrific chain reaction, multi-car pile up.  If a race car driver instinctively attempts to steer around the crash, odds are, instead of avoiding the wreckage, they’ll drive directly into the exploding shrapnel or side-swipe another driver.

When you feel fearful, acknowledge it, suppress your intuitive desire to brake and steer around what’s scaring you.  Instead, like a professional race car driver, respond counter intuitively, speed forward and face directly into what’s scaring you – take action.

Do WE Win By Facing Our Fears?  Sorta.

Let’s face it. When we feel the fear and take action anyway, from time to time we’re gonna crash and burn.  Our metaphorical knees will scrape and scab, our left eye blacken, maybe a chipped tooth, certainly our pride will sting and our ego bruise.  So what, it won’t kill us, it will simply make us more prepared, more experienced and ultimately, more successful.  If we professionally press forward when amateurs brake and swerve, we win.  I think the saying, “Fail Faster – Succeed Sooner” is the perfect mantra for facing, embracing and conquering our fears.  Say it with me now — out loud — Fail Faster, Succeed Sooner.

Lastly, We Don’t Have To Learn All Our Lessons The Hard Way.

Professionals train and perfect-practice (practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect-practice makes perfect).

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Let’s do this:

  1. Grab a black ink pen and yellow legal pad.
  2. Write down the things you fear, the situations, the questions, etc..
  3. One by one, create an action plan that will give you the confidence, expertise and mindset to overcome or eliminate your individual listed fears.
  4. Simply train and practice for a professional outcome, when you feel the fear, face directly into it, take action and learn from your mistakes.

If you do this, you will prosper. Honest, you will.  Try it and experience winning for yourself.

Thanks for reading.  Share with a friend.  Cheers.

Photo Credit

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Written By

Ken Brand - Prudential Gary Greene, Realtors. I’ve proudly worn a Realtor tattoo for over 10,957+ days, practicing our craft in San Diego, Austin, Aspen and now, The Woodlands, TX. As a life long learner, I’ve studied, read, written, taught, observed and participated in spectacular face plant failures and giddy inducing triumphs. I invite you to read my blog posts here at Agent Genius and On the lighter side, you can follow my folly on Twitter and Facebook. Of course, you’re always to welcome to take the shortcut and call: 832-797-1779.



  1. Matt Stigliano

    December 7, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Ken – Love the race car analogy. Never thought about it, but I can imagine what would happen if they steer off course or slow down. Applying it to everyday life and suddenly fear seems like something we can race right past and get to the winner’s circle.

    I’ve written before about how I enjoy failure, but fear is always a different beast. Somedays I excel with it, others I wallow in it. Now that I have the analogy in my head, I’ll have to remember it when I feel the onset of a bit of fear creeping into my thoughts.

  2. Missy Kitzman

    December 7, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Ken – Great post! I have to say I am somewhat fascinated by fear. I find that once I address my fears and move forward the outcome is never as “tragic” as I had imagined. The pure joy and sense of accomplishment when overcoming a fear inspires me…but then I can quickly find myself right back at square one with another fear. As soon as I feel the hesitation, I instantly remember a moment where I overcame fear and yet I still struggle to move forward. The longer I ponder the slower I take action. I am just amazed at how the cycle continues over and over again. Your saying “Fail Faster – Succeed Sooner” is definitely my new mantra!

  3. Ken Brand

    December 7, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    Matt – Thanks, WFO is the way to go. Cheers.

    Missy – Appreciate the compliment. It’s so true 99% of the things we worry about, never happen. Cheers to speed….and you.

  4. MIssy Caulk

    December 7, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Ken, this is so so true.

    I tell my yununs’ this all the time. Most of what we fear never happens anyway it just paralysis us.

  5. Joe Loomer

    December 8, 2009 at 6:23 am

    Your post made me think of what a SEAL buddy of mine – Master Chief Mad Dog Madision – used to say – “Pain is just weakness leaving your body.” The context was physical exertion, not fear, but one could argue fear is a type of pain.

    Since my duties have shifted away from buying and selling to training and recruiting, this is a great shot in the arm just when I needed it, Ken – thanks!!

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  6. Ken Brand

    December 8, 2009 at 7:45 am

    Thanks Missy, lot’s of energy is spent worrying about what will go wrong, instead of how can I make it go right. I’m wrestle with this all the time. I think the real estate business give us hourly opportunities to practice positive perspective. Cheers.

    Joe – Mad Dog! What an awesome name. And you are dead-bang right, fear is a form of pain. All the BIG-Best in 2010 Joe. Cheers.

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