Isn’t it interesting how a person can hear a song and feel as though it were written just for them? Nietzsche said, “Without music, life would be a mistake.” Last week I talked about real estate’s influence on literature, and today I think we should consider how some of the most famous songs in the world were influenced by our often undervalued profession. Here’s my evidence (would I lie to you?):
Happiness is a Warm Gun (A Brokers Open in South Central)
I’m a Loser (An agent with a bobble-head Omarosa on his dash)
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (A Beverly Hills agent on nine cups of java)
Please, Please Me (Refrain of the Greek Chorus at a Listing Appointment)
Another One Bites the Dust (Refrain of the Greek Chorus when your buyer tells you he recently “invested” the down payment money)
Eight Days a Week (A slacker week for an agent.)
Thriller (A 4% commission that requires no sexual favors)
Brown Sugar (A sweet deal that turns to s__t.)
Dancing Queen (A West Hollywood agent at COE)
Straight Outta Compton (A house with bullet holes for air conditioning)
Bang Bang (Name of the HVAC company that services Compton)
Knockin On Heavens Door (A contingency offer…that’s 20% under asking)
Don’t Let Go (Refrain of the Greek Chorus when your hands are around the neck of the guy that’s fighting you for procuring cause)
You Shook Me All Night Long (Twilight Open near the San Andreas Fault)
Would I Lie To You (An extra credit question on the state real estate exam – the multiple choice selection is: a) Yes b) Why Not? c) Does a turd float? or c) All of the above, bozo)
Got To Give It Up (Advice to the seller chained to his basement bar screaming, “Noooo – not the brewskis!!!)
Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing Baby (Advice to the seller with the neon Elvis over his couch)
The Tracks of My Tears (The road from here to your last failed escrow)
Take All of Me (An agent’s plea while lying prostrate in front of a lender on day thirty of his vanishing deal)
Chattanooga Shoe Shine Boy (The agent who used to sit at the desk next to yours.)
Light My Fire (New Jersey alternative to selling at a loss)
Chain of Fools (Seven wasted agents in a Limbo line)
La Vida Loca – (Uber-obvious, no?)
Why Try to Change Me Now? (Most popular rehab center for agents)
Money, That’s What I Want – The first five words an agent learns in real estate…and the last!
(For more fun, read Real Estate’s Influence on Literature: Real Estate and Literature – Imitation is Flattery on Agent Genius)
Missy Caulk
September 18, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Ha…funny how the titles can be so true.
Gwen Banta
September 18, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Yeah, it’s just fun Friday humor, Missy. I’m the court jester who is there for the entertainment portion of the program. But I think it’s important to have a few laughs because we have been subject to stressful times in our very challenging profession.
Joe Loomer
September 18, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Read this as I was heading out for my wife’s birthday! Now I’m in an even better mood!
I would add:
The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys (what you hear walking down the street while showing the USMC retired Gunney and his pastor wife the home of his dreams)
Burning Down The House (what you feel like doing when the Seller rejects an offer and recommends a LIST PRICE INCREASE because you got an offer within the first two weeks)
Escape (need I say more? The home’s a s__t hole, a dear friend referred you to list it, they think it’s the Taj Mahal)
How Deep Is Your Love (your best friend listed their house with you, you bring an offer, they ask if you’ll reduce your commission)
Navy Chief, Navy Pride
Gwen Banta
September 18, 2009 at 7:37 pm
These are fantastic Joe. – you made my day. I have my own take on a few:
The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys – West Hollywood agents fighting at a listing presentation (FYI: that’s our Castro section)
Burning Down The House – Gwen Banta preparing food at a Brokers Open
Escape – The gases emanating from the old man who won’t leave your open house
How Deep is Your Love – I’m stymied here. We need to get Matt Stigliano in on this – it’s right up his rock n roll alley.
Hello, Matt??? Hello, any of you other twisted Geniuses out there???