The Golden Rule Is Broken

The Golden Rule 1.0

It was 44 years ago. I was 8. Our steel chairs were painted shiny brown, my tiny butt was sore from steel sitting and I was fidgety. So were my shined shoes, hair combed, dresses pressed Sunday School mates – fidgety I mean. Gravelly voiced, Mr Lafon read the good word from his scuffed and worn-familiar Holy Bible. His was the King James version. The one with red sentences, golden edges and Thee’s, Thou’s and Verily’s .  He shared, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

Words taught early. Wise words we’ve strived to live by. My blog title, “The Golden Rule Is Broken” isn’t exactly true, it’s not broken, I just said it to attract attention.  Forgive me.  Now that you’re here, perhaps you’ll humor an upgrade.

The Golden Rule 2.0

Here’s version 2.0. “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.”

Think about that for 30 seconds. Reread it: “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.”

How do YOU want to be treated, serviced and tended too? The way YOU want. The way YOU like it best. Or do you prefer your preferences and proclivities be poo-pooed?

Would we agree? Poo-pooing on someone’s desires and preferences leads to FAILURE.

Here Are Four “Fail” examples:

1. There are 5 Love Languages – suppose your personal love language is “affirmation”, your lovers is “gifts”. If you yammer and blather validations because YOU like them, and you skip the gifts, you’re gonna be lonely Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night. No sugar for you!
2. I love chick flicks, you love Friday the 13th movies. If I drag you to see Sex In The City, Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants and Dirty Dancing because I love them, we’d have relationship problems wouldn’t we?  No Dirty Dancing for me, maybe a hammer to the head, right?
3. We’re friends, we bump into each other at the bar. “Hey, how’s it goin? Great to see you! Let me buy you a drink?”, I offer. You smile and thirstily nod. I don’t ask you, “What’ll you have?”  I order you what I like. I rub-up to the bar and order you a Stupid White Wine Spritzer. Your mouth waters for Miss Mojito, now you have a fist full of foo-foo and your smile is upside down. It’d be kinda rude of me right?  Looks like I’ll be drinking alone.  Again:-(
4. Suppose I was a masochist? Should I treat you like-I-like?  Ouch shouts! For one of us at least.

See what I mean? Treating others like-you-like can lead to fractures. Relationship fractures, the compound kind, with jagged bones poking out.

Treat Others As They Want – Please

This is the easy part. How do you know how others want to be treated? The answer is the same for work, play and love.

Ask of course.

Ask conversational, candid questions about what others want. Then you give it to’em. Simple.

Three Don’t and Do examples:

1.0 = Ms. Seller, let me tell you what I’m going to do for you. Others love it.  I love it works well for me, I’m a big success. Let me press it on you, here it is…. [Telling]

2.0 = Ms. Seller, what are the three most important things your real estate agent can do for you? What criteria will you use to select your agent?  [Asking]

1.0 = Ms. Seller, you said communication was important. Here’s the good news, I’m real good at it. I email a written report every two weeks. I’ll touch base every 30 days with an updated market analysis. If you have any questions call me. I return all my calls within 24 hours. Like I said, people say I’m great at staying in touch.  [Telling]

2.0 = Ms. Seller, you shared that communication is important, how would you like to be communicated with and how often. Do you prefer phone calls, emails, written reports or?  To give you a feeling of security and that you in-the know,  what form would you like our communication to take and how often would you like it?  Communication I mean.  [Asking]

1.0 = Ms. Seller, you said that internet marketing is important and you’re right. I have a great blog. I broadcast your property information all over the web. I’m web savvy, I’m even on Facebook and Twitter. Nobody can do a better internet job than me.  [Telling]

2.0 = Ms. Seller, you shared that internet marketing was important. Can you elaborate for me?  What methods or mediums, sites and types of internet marketing do you feel are most effective and have the biggest impact?  Which one’s do you feel are a waste of time?  [Asking] 

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You get the picture right? Bottom line. Before you gatling gun style ramble and tell, tell, tell, ask questions. Discover what they want, expect, desire and need. Then, simply give it to them Golden Rule 2.0 style –  “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.”

Even Joe Dirt gets it

Get to it. It’s simple. Even Joe Dirt gets it.  In this video Joe Dirt Explains The Golden Rule 2.0:

So, What’s next for you?  What questions will you begin asking?  What will cool things will people start give YOU when YOU start giving THEM what THEY like, desire and want?

Rock On friends.

Oh, one last thing.  In the spirit of The Golden Rule 2.0 – What kinds of things would you like me to write about?