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The Golden Rule Is Broken

The Good Word.

The Golden Rule 1.0

It was 44 years ago. I was 8. Our steel chairs were painted shiny brown, my tiny butt was sore from steel sitting and I was fidgety. So were my shined shoes, hair combed, dresses pressed Sunday School mates – fidgety I mean. Gravelly voiced, Mr Lafon read the good word from his scuffed and worn-familiar Holy Bible. His was the King James version. The one with red sentences, golden edges and Thee’s, Thou’s and Verily’s .  He shared, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

Words taught early. Wise words we’ve strived to live by. My blog title, “The Golden Rule Is Broken” isn’t exactly true, it’s not broken, I just said it to attract attention.  Forgive me.  Now that you’re here, perhaps you’ll humor an upgrade.

The Golden Rule 2.0

Here’s version 2.0. “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.”

Think about that for 30 seconds. Reread it: “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.”

How do YOU want to be treated, serviced and tended too? The way YOU want. The way YOU like it best. Or do you prefer your preferences and proclivities be poo-pooed?

Would we agree? Poo-pooing on someone’s desires and preferences leads to FAILURE.

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Here Are Four “Fail” examples:

  1. There are 5 Love Languages – suppose your personal love language is “affirmation”, your lovers is “gifts”. If you yammer and blather validations because YOU like them, and you skip the gifts, you’re gonna be lonely Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night. No sugar for you!
  2. I love chick flicks, you love Friday the 13th movies. If I drag you to see Sex In The City, Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants and Dirty Dancing because I love them, we’d have relationship problems wouldn’t we?  No Dirty Dancing for me, maybe a hammer to the head, right?
  3. We’re friends, we bump into each other at the bar. “Hey, how’s it goin? Great to see you! Let me buy you a drink?”, I offer. You smile and thirstily nod. I don’t ask you, “What’ll you have?”  I order you what I like. I rub-up to the bar and order you a Stupid White Wine Spritzer. Your mouth waters for Miss Mojito, now you have a fist full of foo-foo and your smile is upside down. It’d be kinda rude of me right?  Looks like I’ll be drinking alone.  Again:-(
  4. Suppose I was a masochist? Should I treat you like-I-like?  Ouch shouts! For one of us at least.

See what I mean? Treating others like-you-like can lead to fractures. Relationship fractures, the compound kind, with jagged bones poking out.

Treat Others As They Want – Please

This is the easy part. How do you know how others want to be treated? The answer is the same for work, play and love.

Ask of course.

Ask conversational, candid questions about what others want. Then you give it to’em. Simple.

Three Don’t and Do examples:

1.0 = Ms. Seller, let me tell you what I’m going to do for you. Others love it.  I love it works well for me, I’m a big success. Let me press it on you, here it is…. [Telling]

2.0 = Ms. Seller, what are the three most important things your real estate agent can do for you? What criteria will you use to select your agent?  [Asking]

1.0 = Ms. Seller, you said communication was important. Here’s the good news, I’m real good at it. I email a written report every two weeks. I’ll touch base every 30 days with an updated market analysis. If you have any questions call me. I return all my calls within 24 hours. Like I said, people say I’m great at staying in touch.  [Telling]

2.0 = Ms. Seller, you shared that communication is important, how would you like to be communicated with and how often. Do you prefer phone calls, emails, written reports or?  To give you a feeling of security and that you in-the know,  what form would you like our communication to take and how often would you like it?  Communication I mean.  [Asking]

1.0 = Ms. Seller, you said that internet marketing is important and you’re right. I have a great blog. I broadcast your property information all over the web. I’m web savvy, I’m even on Facebook and Twitter. Nobody can do a better internet job than me.  [Telling]

2.0 = Ms. Seller, you shared that internet marketing was important. Can you elaborate for me?  What methods or mediums, sites and types of internet marketing do you feel are most effective and have the biggest impact?  Which one’s do you feel are a waste of time?  [Asking] 

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You get the picture right? Bottom line. Before you gatling gun style ramble and tell, tell, tell, ask questions. Discover what they want, expect, desire and need. Then, simply give it to them Golden Rule 2.0 style –  “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.”

Even Joe Dirt gets it

Get to it. It’s simple. Even Joe Dirt gets it.  In this video Joe Dirt Explains The Golden Rule 2.0:



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So, What’s next for you?  What questions will you begin asking?  What will cool things will people start give YOU when YOU start giving THEM what THEY like, desire and want?

Rock On friends.

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Oh, one last thing.  In the spirit of The Golden Rule 2.0 – What kinds of things would you like me to write about?

Written By

Ken Brand - Prudential Gary Greene, Realtors. I’ve proudly worn a Realtor tattoo for over 10,957+ days, practicing our craft in San Diego, Austin, Aspen and now, The Woodlands, TX. As a life long learner, I’ve studied, read, written, taught, observed and participated in spectacular face plant failures and giddy inducing triumphs. I invite you to read my blog posts here at Agent Genius and On the lighter side, you can follow my folly on Twitter and Facebook. Of course, you’re always to welcome to take the shortcut and call: 832-797-1779.



  1. Paula

    February 20, 2009 at 8:27 am

    Taking the “holy word” to the level of 2.0 marketing communication as only you can do!

    Whether relationship or business, meeting the other persons need is more likely to get you the results you want. It’s still a WIIFT (whats in it for them) society and when you can give *them* what they want, the way they want it, you have a client, friend, or significant other for life.

    BTW – I don’t care what you write about, just keep writing – I enjoy your wit and sense of humor as only you can Brand it!

    I should also add, they will more than likely look for ways to meet your needs when they feel you are truly sincere about meeting theirs.

  2. Clint Miller

    February 20, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Great article, Ken! And a great way to explain the entire 2.0 world and how it is changing everything in life, not just the world. Nice job.

  3. fred

    February 20, 2009 at 8:46 am

    Great post, very good tips in our 2.0 real estate world.

  4. Matt Stigliano

    February 20, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Ken – Bringing Joe Dirt to real estate. Only you. I just watched that on TNT the other day and remember this exact part, but would have never put two and two together. Thanks for opening my eyes to the wisdom we can learn – even from ex-SNL comedians.

    I’m off to watch Tommy Boy to see what I can learn.

  5. ken brand

    February 20, 2009 at 11:24 am

    Thanks all:-)

  6. Vance Shutes

    February 20, 2009 at 6:36 pm


    An intriguing article. I love the “hook” to get us to read.

    It makes tremendous sense to me to treat other as they would like to be treated.

    Successful sports coaches have used this approach for years. Some players respond to the “carrot”, some to the “stick”. Great coaches know when to use each approach. Great agents likely adopt the same approach.

  7. Susie Blackmon

    February 21, 2009 at 4:01 am

    Enjoyed your post Ken, very much. The next generation will not respond (i.e., tolerate) the ‘sales script’ mentality and/or treatment. Neither will Cowboys!! 😉

  8. Missy Caulk

    February 21, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Excellent analogy from beginning to end. The consumers are different great way to point it out.

  9. BawldGuy

    February 22, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    Conceptual Selling in its purest form. If folks only modified their practice using this post, so much would change for them.

  10. Ken Brand

    February 23, 2009 at 6:18 am

    Thanks for the comments friends. Our business is an oddly couple blend of art and science. Thanks for the compliments and the sharing you do as well.

    Have a big, fun, profitable week, month, year, life:-)

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