My dear readers, friends, colleagues and fellow inmates: Please think before you participate in MLS-Speak. If you don’t, you’ll come off like a horse’s petute. This week’s fertile field of bloopers was more like a tribute to Calabasas, Roy Rogers and Gene Autry. Check out these bloopers from Home on De-Range (Sorry, Champion and Trigger):
Home for the Deranged
“Beautiful Calabasas villa with mounting view” (Hmmm, a house with livestock porn.)
“Parklike groans” (Must be in Calabasas…)
“Extra guest pking” (Stop groaning and mounting, and we’ll stop pking.)
“Ranch with Heated pole” (For Calabasas stripper cows?)
“3Bd/2Ba horse for sale” (Let me guess…four square feet?)
“Pantless approval process.” (Something tells me this broker is in Calabasas…)
Meds Required Here
“Seller died – fixer.” (Breaking news: That ship has sailed.)
“New Koala Fixtures” (Upgraded Down Under?)
“House and one lush acher” (I’ll tell Uncle Paddy to lay off the Guinness and shut his pie hole.)
“House is on a slob” (Don’t worry, after four pints, Uncle Paddy can’t feel a thing.)
Who Let the Inmates Out?
“New entrance rump” (Uh, rumps are for exits, you horse’s arse!)
“A lot of house for little monkey.” (If it can accommodate a big ape, I’ll alert my ex.)
“Crash preferred” (Thank you Jet Blue.)
“Send Approval letter and proof of funs” (How ‘bout a photo of me in a party hat?)
“Salad, bugers and treats served” (Lovely – are Kleenex included?)
And The Beat Goes On
“New Pool and diving broad” (Great offer – if you can get her to clean the pool.)
“New mable in the kitchen.” (Old Mable in the coffin?)
“Stoned walkdaway” (Stoned agent couldn’t.)
“Ninnys attached to kitchin” (Ninny face down on keyboard.)
And We’re Back to Calabasas
“Historic Horse Ranch for Sale – Four Generations Porn Here (Uh, let me guess – mounting views, parklike groans…and a lot of horsing around? Giddyup, Trigger, we’re outta here!)
