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Op/Ed

Processing emotions during COVID-19: It may be grief you’re feeling

(EDITORIAL) During a global pandemic, there is a rollercoaster of emotions and these two things may help people process some of their feelings which may be grief.

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grief

Is part of what we have all been feeling these past couple of months grief? Some say yes, so let’s take a look at what we have been doing and feeling.

I don’t know about you but the first few weeks of March I went in to productive overdrive but not the self-care kind like making new recipes, starting new work outs or painting for creativity and fun. I was trying to complete my work priorities, side business client work and co-host free webinars (via Zoom of course and one even on Webinar Ninja) for my small business community and followers.

I also suddenly had to figure out to be productive while my husband was home and our toddler was with us with not much notice of her daycare being closed. The first two weeks felt hellacious – high anxiety, never feeling like I was doing enough or was present enough.

I woke up and got right to work in my t-shirt and yoga pants, some days forgetting if I had brushed my teeth or washed my face. Taking a shower felt like a luxury but also sometimes a nuisance to try to fit one in. That was strange. I saw my daughter as needing attention as something I had to sort out -also with a guilty feeling that I knew she should be priority but “if I could just get this last project wrapped up or email sent out” or “after I jump on this Zoom call”, I can then take a break and be with her.

Albeit the break was filled with anxious thoughts of how I had to get back to work. My husband was dealing with his own shift in work having many clients pause and see when/how he could work from home. He was grappling with all the general unknown as well as both of us wondering what did this mean for our finances.

This has been an absolute conflict of emotions:

  • Gratitude that we were able to be home – safe and healthy at least for now
  • Scared and grappling with feelings of uncertainty and anxiety
  • Blessed for having some income we could rely on
  • Sadness for having lost some income but not quite sure how much or for how long
  • Worry for others that have lost everything – their livelihoods, their day to days, their LIVES?!
  • Worry for our older parents that live far away and are immunocompromised (not sure we had ever used this word to refer to them) but also happiness that they seem to be doing okay
  • Excitement to have “extra time” with our daughter and dogs
  • Delight to not have to drive in our regular 1-hour each way commute leaving the house around 7:30am and getting home after 6:30pm

I was looking all over for silver linings but not understanding how people are so good at finding new ways to manage their time: organizing their pantries, working out at home, trying new and healthy recipes, painting new masterpieces, etc. It felt a little bit overwhelming that I wasn’t taking advantage of this quick shift in schedule. I also felt fatigued by all the articles telling us to be ok and don’t be an idiot about going out (like we were supposed to just know how to never leave home). I really just wanted permission to not be ok for a bit.

I read this HBS article about the feelings above of discomfort were actually considered grief. The article suggests that if we can just understand the stages of grief, and especially accept that they are not linear, then maybe we can figure out our own path forward. I saw it circulated among many of my friends and truthfully, found it to be the permission I needed to be ok with not being ok.

Keep trying. There is something powerful about naming this as grief. It helps us feel what’s inside of us. So many have told me in the past week, “I’m telling my coworkers I’m having a hard time,” or “I cried last night.” When you name it, you feel it and it moves through you. Emotions need motion. It’s important we acknowledge what we go through. One unfortunate byproduct of the self-help movement is we’re the first generation to have feelings about our feelings.”

This YouTube video was also shared with me about How do you help a grieving friend? and I think you will all also enjoy it and a quote in the beginning, “The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed, exactly as it is.” – Parker Palmer

So, the message I was looking for (to be ok with not being ok) has been found and now it’s up to me with how to move forward. I know that drinking cider and eating cake aren’t quite cutting it so I journaled this morning with ideas for me that would excite me about getting more exercise in my day (dancing, strength training, walking).

I admittedly haven’t started this new work out routine but by allowing myself some grace to grieve, I plan to get the momentum going. I hope you are also ok with wherever you are and slowly or surely adjusting what you need to keep your sanity.

How do you help a grieving friend?

(sharing this video? using it in a training! Great! Tag or email us and let us know, and be sure to give proper attribution.) It’s so hard to know what to do…

Erin Wike is a Career Coach & Lecturer at The University of Texas at Austin and owner of Cafe Con Resume. Erin is fueled by dark roast coffee with cream AND sugar, her loving husband, daughter, and two rescue dogs. She is the Co-Founder of Small Business Friends ATX to help fellow entrepreneurs + hosts events for people to live a Life of Yes with Mac & Cheese Productions.

Op/Ed

5 Things your home office may not need

(EDITORIAL) Since many of us are working entirely from home now, we are probably getting annoyed at a messy desk, let’s take a crack at minimalism!

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desk minimalism

COVID-19 is changing our behaviors. As more people stay home, they’re seeing (and having to deal with) the clutter in their home. Many people are turning to minimalism to reduce clutter and find more joy. There are many ways to define minimalism. Some people define it as the number of items you own. Others think of it as only owning items that you actually need.

I prefer to think of minimalism as intentionality of possessions. I have a couple of dishes that are not practical, nor do I use them very often. But they belonged to my grandma, and out of sentimentality, I keep them. Most minimalists probably wouldn’t.

They say a messy desk is a sign of creativity. Unfortunately, that same messy desk limits productivity. Harvard Business Review reports that cluttered spaces have negative effects on us. Keep your messy desk, but get rid of the clutter. Take a minimalistic approach to your home office. Here are five things to clean up:

  1. Old technology – When was the last time you printed something for work? Most of us don’t print much anymore. Get rid of the old printers, computer parts, and other pieces of hardware that are collecting dust.
  2. Papers and documents – Go digital, or just save the documents that absolutely matter. Of course, this may vary by industry, but take a hard look at the paper you’ve saved over the past month or so. Then ask yourself whether you will really ever look at it again.
  3. Filing cabinets – If you’re not saving paper, you don’t need filing cabinets.
  4. Trade magazines and journals – Go digital, and keep your magazines on your Kindle, or pass down the print versions to colleagues who may be interested.
  5. Anything unrelated to work – Ok, save the picture of your family and coffee mug, but clean off your desk of things that aren’t required for work. It’s easy for home and work to get mixed up when you’re working and living in one place. Keep it separate for your own peace of mind and better workflow. If space is tight and you’re sharing a dining room table with work, get a laundry basket or box. At the start of the workday, remove home items and put them in the box. Transfer work items to another box at the end of the day. It might seem like a little more work, but it will give you some boundaries.

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Op/Ed

5 Consumer behavior shifts caused by the pandemic

(EDITORIAL) COVID-19 has changed the way a lot of people look at and act in the new world. These are the biggest 5 changes you should be aware of consumers.

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consumers priorities

COVID-19 is affecting businesses in multiple ways, depending on the industry. One thing that affects every business, regardless of industry is customer behavior. It’s no surprise that customers are changing behavior to meet the challenges of the pandemic. Google just released information that should help your business. It’s estimated that over 4 million people are staying home around the world to slow the spread of coronavirus. Use this information to help you shift your marketing efforts.

  1. Consumers are using multiple devices more than ever before.
    With kids home trying to do school, parents who are working, and people who are furloughed, content is being consumed at record rates. According to Google, Americans are watching 12 hours of media content each day.
  2. Increases in search for critical information.
    Online grocery shopping and cooking videos are top searches these days while Americans are staying home. Telemedicine is another hot search topic. People are looking for ways to stay home and protected.
  3. Consumers want to stay connected online.
    Google announced that in April, Google Meet hosted over 3 billion minutes of video meetings. YouTube has seen an increase in “with me” videos. People are filming themselves going about their day to connect with their friends and family. Virtual events have changed how people meet up.
  4. Routines are changing to be “internet-first.”
    Telecommuting is a top search these days as consumers try to find ways to work from home. People are looking for exercise options that can be managed at home. Consumers are using the internet to find options that keep them socially-distanced but connected to their routine.
  5. Self-care is taking a higher priority.
    Meditation videos are being consumed at a higher percentage than before. People are looking for books, games and puzzles to stay occupied at home.

Consider Your Business Against Consumer Behavior

COVID-19 restrictions may be easing, but consumer behavior may not change much until there is a vaccine. Your business can use this information to change your marketing to meet consumers at their point of need.

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Op/Ed

5 Secrets to a more productive morning in the office

(EDITORIAL) Productivity is king in the office, but sometimes distractions and other issues slow you down. So what can you do to limit these factors?

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distractions stop productivity

Regardless of whether you’re a self-proclaimed morning person or not, more efficient mornings can be catalytic in your daily productivity and output. The only question is, do you know how to make the most of your mornings in the office?

5 Tips for Greater Morning Productivity

In economic terms, productivity is a measure of output as it relates to input. Academics often discuss productivity in terms of a one-acre farm’s ability to produce a specific crop yield, or an auto manufacturing plant’s ability to produce a certain number of vehicles over a period of time. But then there’s productivity in our personal lives.

Your own daily productivity can be defined in a variety of ways. But at the end of the day, it’s about getting the desired results with less time and effort on the input side. And as a business professional, one of the best ways to do this is by optimizing your morning in the office.

Here are a few timely suggestions:

  1. Eliminate All Non-Essential Actions


    Spend the next week keeping a log of every single action you take from the moment your eyes open in the morning until you sit down at your desk. It might look something like this:

    • Turn off alarm
    • Scroll through social media on phone
    • Get out of bed
    • Eat breakfast
    • Take shower
    • Brush teeth
    • Walk dog
    • Watch news
    • Browse favorite websites
    • Get in car
    • Starbucks drive-thru
    • Arrive at office
    • Small talk with coworkers
    • Sit down at desk

    If you do this over the course of a week, you’ll notice that your behaviors don’t change all that much. There might be some slight deviations, but it’s basically the same pattern.

    Now consider how you can eliminate as many points of friction as possible from your routine. [Note from the Editor: This may be an unpopular opinion, but] For example, can you skip social media time? Can you make coffee at home, rather than drive five minutes out of your way to wait in the Starbucks drive-thru line? Just doing these two things alone could result in an additional 30 minutes of productive time in the office.

  2. Reduce Distractions


    Distractions kill productivity. They’re like rooftop snipers. As soon as they see any sign of productivity, they put it in their crosshairs and pull the trigger.

    Ask yourself this: What are my biggest distractions and how can I eliminate them?

    Popular distractions include social media, SMS, video games, news websites, and email. And while none of these are evil, they zap focus. At the very least, you should shift them to later in the day.

  3. Set Measurable Goals and Action items


    It’s hard to have a productive morning if you don’t have a clear understanding of what it means to be productive. Make sure you set measurable goals, create actionable to-do lists, and establish definitive measurements of what it looks like to be efficient. However, don’t get so caught up in the end result that you miss out on true productivity.

    “There’s a big difference between movement and achievement; while to-do lists guarantee that you feel accomplished in completing tasks, they don’t ensure that you move closer to your ultimate goals,” TonyRobbins.com mentions. “There are many ways to increase your productivity; the key is choosing the ones that are right for you and your ultimate goals.”

    In other words, set goals that are actually reflective of productivity. In doing so, you’ll adjust your behavior to come in proper alignment with the results you’re seeking.

  4. Try Vagus Nerve Stimulation


    Sometimes you just need to block out distractions and focus on the ask at hand. There are plenty of ways to shut out interruptions, but makes sure you’re also simultaneously cuing your mind to be productive. Vagus nerve stimulation is one option for doing both.

    Vagus nerve stimulation, which gently targets the body’s vagus nerve to promote balance and relaxation, while simultaneously enhancing focus and output.

  5. Optimize Your Workspace


    Makes sure your office workspace is conducive to productivity. This means eliminating clutter, optimizing the ergonomics of your desk, reducing distractions, and using “away” settings on apps and devices to suppress notifications during work time.

Make Productivity a Priority

Never take productivity for granted. The world is full of distractions and your willpower is finite. If you “wing it,” you’ll end up spending more time, energy, and effort, all while getting fewer positive results.

Make productivity a priority – especially during the mornings when your mind is fresh and the troubles of the day have yet to be released in full force. Doing so will change the way you operate, function, and feel. It’ll also enhance tangible results, like income, job status, and the accolades that come along with moving up in your career.

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